who *isn't* ashamed to admit using formula?

[LookingForwardToSummer]

feeling crap after reading the 'exclusive breastfeeding' thread! i find bf really hard and have set myself the target of 5 months, i intend to feel very proud that i went that long and then use formula happily! i can't be the only one! all the stats show low bf rates - so where is everyone?

yurt - mine was like that - being a first time mum I didn't know anything different. He didn't have breathing difficulties but did sleep a lot and had a touch or jaundice.

He was induced because I had wacky blood pressure, he wasn't ready to come out - 4 lots of gel, arom, and then the drip.

He woke up about 3-4 weeks - when he probably was ready to be born.

Well i missed a lot!
MW visit and dd feeding etc

Tiktok - I've met a lovely NCT Bf councillor who is encouraging me to keep persevering. I am using a hand pump to try to stimulate production and spending a lot of time skin to skin with dd who still roots.
Just waiting to see if milk comes in as to where i can go from here.

i'm the OP and am glad the tread has taken a more supportive turn. i was shocked that it got so nasty yesterday. i'm surprised that those who are fotunate enough to bf for a year think that other people think they are freakish and get all defensive about it! all the advice is to bf - i just think that if you can't / don't want to for whatever reason that should be fine too!

i'd definately feel uncomfortable bf in public - but also if i gave a bottle. it's just nuts!

oh, but i do think that bf 3 year olds is a little odd as they can eat food then. [lfts runs off and hides again]

"oh, but i do think that bf 3 year olds is a little odd as they can eat food then"

No need to hide! No one will throw anything at you!

DS2 will be three in July and I would still be feeding him, if I hadn't had to stop in January after becoming very ill.

Breastmilk is the original 'super food' - packed with pre and probiotics and super easy to digest. Even though my son can inhale practically half a chicken in one sitting I figured he still benefited from having his breastmilk at two and a half. Plus the pleasure he got from breastfeeding.

uh-oh there's an even more scary looking thread now! 'why would anyone choose not to bf if they know it's best'! not going to look at that, doesn't sound like it fits in with my supporting everyone ethos!!

Good luck Ayomi

HCTG - yes, snap - my dd wasn't in SCBu because of her birthweight

to the OP - I fed my ds till he was 2.5 years, it's perfectly natural and lovely thing to do IMO

I don't feel guilty though I did at the time. I bf all my boys for 5 weeks exactly then switched to formula. I just realy didn't get on bf. I said every time 'Im realy going to try harder this time' went through a very tough time to bf then switched to formula. All my boys are happy healthy strong and simply lovely. No asthma,excema or lurgies so far that apparantly formula fed babies all get
Thanks for this thread LokingForwardToSummer

ginge - you are just the sort of person i wanted to hear from. i know i'll change to formula at somepoint because, basically, that's what i want to do. and i still think that many mothers are the same!

"DD was born brain damaged which was my fault."

To Riven: reading this has made me cry. It was not your fault. Please talk to someone: you don't just need to hear this, you need to believe it. Making a decision that was one stage towards an accident is not the same as having any control over the accident. I'm very sad for you and hope you come to see that not only do you have to forgive yourself, but there's nothing to forgive. Please be kinder to yourself.

Thank you tiktok
However, back in contex of the thread, I don't feel I should be ashamed if I end up exclusively ff - I know I will have done my best. It is judged way to harshly....

i tried bf but had the most unsupportive midwife and gave up after a week as there just didn;t seem to be anything there

i did not even try to bf dd as i had such a miserable time for the first week of ds's life, and in rl have never actually heard anyone bash ff

i am now pregnant with number 3 and will prob ff him too so there

i believe it is each individual's choice and don;t really understand why formula shouldn;t be advertised why shouldn;t we be aware of the choices of brands ffs

It's not to do with recognising different brand names, mustsleep!

If you need to know these, so you don't give your baby something that isn't formula because you don't know the names (could happen - someone might be new to the UK and just not know) then you can ask a midwife or HV, or an assistant in the shop, so you get the right product selection.

It's the marketing of formula that is unethical.

It's not at all informative - very few mothers know the differences between whey based and casein based, for instance, and whether or not follow on is a useful product, and this is how the manufacturers prefer it. They also prefer you not to know the risks of using their products.

Hope you understand the issue - it's not to do with availability or mothers knowing what the names are, but the way it is marketed.

sorreeee for having an opinion!! jesus

obviousley not evrry hv or midwife will know all the selections of formula, ds used one that was lactose free, and obviousley i do not buy every thing i see on tv

thanks for explaining slowly in small words to me, but then isn;t it unethical to advertise nappies wouldn;t they all be much better in reusables?? just don;t see why they can;t advertise and let you make your own mind up they are not telling people to ff fgs

"No asthma,excema or lurgies so far that apparantly formula fed babies all get"

gingeme - I do wonder how you arrived at the opinion that there are people out there who believe that all babies who are ff also get asthma, excema etc. Have you ever heard anyone express this opinion? I never have.

sabire quite right

ds and dd both ff and neither have any of the above and are rarely poorly

mustsleep, I don't think your annoyance with me is justified. I am not criticising you for having an opinion (why would I do that?)...just clarifying what we're debating. And I don't think I used small words. I credited you with knowing what whey and casein meant in formula terms.

The issues in this debate are clearly new to you. It's nothing like the advertising of nappies. I don't think you sound as if you are in the mood to take this in, to be honest, so I won't explain further. You can read more if you want here: www.babyfeedinglawgroup.org.uk/

"oh, but i do think that bf 3 year olds is a little odd as they can eat food then. [lfts runs off and hides again]"
lookingforwardtosummer - I take it that your "supporting everyone ethos" doesn't extend to women who choose to feed their 3yo then, unless you think calling them "odd" is supportive?

Sabire, I have heard time and time again, mostly on MN, about all the allergies and obesity and low intelligence, and problems ff babies are bound to develop later in life, this is certainly the general opinion being thrown about.... surely ginge was just making a simple comment, not rooted in anything judgy or mean, to say 'hey, nothing wrong with my kids', which was the point of the thread was it not?

"Sabire, I have heard time and time again, mostly on MN, about all the allergies and obesity and low intelligence, and problems ff babies are bound to develop later in life..."

bound to develop? really? where on mn or anywhere else have you heard or read that ff babies are certain to go on to exhibit those signs?

the arguments and the evidence are all about risk

I felt desperately miserable about not being able to fully bf my DS2 (also did quite a bit of mixed ff/bf with DS1, made it til 4mths). I still do feel guilty and awful about it.

It is great to see others, and see the shared experiences, and it makes me see that I am not a complete failure who gave up too easily.

But, I was crying constantly, feeling entirely out of control, convinced completely and utterly that I was not producing much milk, and had rubbish support from the HV.

After 1week DS2 had not put on much weight, certainly not got back to birth weight, was being weighed every day (5hr a day postnatal care for 1week after birth standard in Holland) so it was being monitored... but what I find was perhaps one of the biggest problems was that this HV was adamant that DS2 be fed every 3/4hrs. From day 1.
I really think had I been told to just feed on demand and to do not a lot more than just bf, the problems of low supply and not being able to get milk properly established (and therefore all my anxieties!) would have been greatly lessened.
As it is, I managed 6weeks. But I just felt utterly crestfallen on the day I gave the last feed. Why had I not yet found MN???!

well, okay, 'bound to develop' has perhaps not specifically been said, not that I have seen, but it is definitely the overall feeling that comes across on some of these threads.
There is definitely an element of what feels like drip-drip-drip guilt for using formula. But then, that is because I myself do still carry with me this guilt of no longer bf'ing five months in.

Errrr Sabire you gave a pretty lengthy list of all the ills associated with formula from mental illness to childhood cancer on the other threads I've read.

Lets not split hairs here, Bergen and Ging may not have written it word for word but we all know the general gist of your previous posts.

so you are saying that the difference between "ff increases the risk of babies becoming obese in later life" and "all ff babies are bound to be obese" is splitting hairs?