who *isn't* ashamed to admit using formula?

[LookingForwardToSummer]

feeling crap after reading the 'exclusive breastfeeding' thread! i find bf really hard and have set myself the target of 5 months, i intend to feel very proud that i went that long and then use formula happily! i can't be the only one! all the stats show low bf rates - so where is everyone?

Hi Sabire - yes I was put in contact with a counsellor before my dd was born and she was brilliant. I ended up expressing for a couple days and was never able to produce more than an ounce or so. To be honest, I didn't think I'd be able to breastfeed at all. I had a breast reduction 10 years ago when they were still completely removing the nipple. I was amazed I was able to breastfeed at all.

I know breast reduction can be much more of a problem than augmentation when it comes to breastfeeding. Agree with you that it was amazing that you could feed at all when you think about the physiology of it - with nipples being removed and all. My mind is boggling at how clever nature is to have somehow managed to partially overcome that obstacle!

yes sorry, my mistake, but I meant, every 4 hrs or 6 times a day.

Newborn ff babies should not be fed every 4 hrs either, they they should be fed on demand or rather, on cue.

i am not ashamed my dd's, all three of them, have had formula at some time in their lives.

i am still bloody angry at the lack of support and advice i got for dd1 regarding breatfeeding, her subsequent asthma, allergies and eczema, for lack of advice regarding dd2 and her reflux 'all babies sick up a bit mrs w, its nothing to worry about she is gaining weight' despite dd2 projectile vomiting across a room most days.
And I am still unhappy with the way we were treating in scbu and how i was made to feel i was failing my newborn dd3 by not wanting her to have formula due to the above issues and not being supported, and how the paed came round at 10pm and decided she was admitted dd3 there and then to scbu despite me expressing colustrum for dd3 and slowly getting her sugar levels up by feeding every couple of hours as well. i was in tears. yes i refused to allow them to bottle feed and insisted on a tube being fitted, as i didnt want to be formula feeding, again due to the above issues.

It is amazing Sabire. I was upset that I wasn't able to bf, but was happy that she was at least able to have it for a short while.

kiskideesameanoldmother - I figured you meant 6 times a day. But hey...I will never miss a chance to be a pedantic bugger. Like I said before though, from 3 weeks my daughter was fed ever four hours and she did amazingly well on that schedule. I did speak to my hv about it before I put her on that schedule and my hv told me it was absolutely fine. So in this case, I disagree with you.

Looking forward to summer, don't know if you're still following this? I noticed a post earlier where you said you didn't want to spend the next year feeding one hour out of every three. You may know this already but I just wanted to say that breastfeeding usually gets much quicker as babies get older, and often less frequent (although this is very variable). Older breastfed babies often feed about as often as ff babies.

The other thread title sounded really smug to me. I haven't opened it for that reason.

I BF mine to 6 months, one exclusively, the other mixed with formula from 16-24 weeks (when we were advised to wean at the time - he's 7). So they've both had formula. I think that's ok.

I don't like the militancy on these threads much.

Thanks to the people who posted nice supportive messages to me, I will try and breastfeed again. I know it might be easier second time round. I already have 2 nursing bra's, but at the same time I don't think formula is that bad and I hope that if I feel like giving the baby some to make my life a little easier at times or if I want to stop I won't go around feeling guilty. (but I doubt it lol)I could not go on that other thread, my first ds had a few bottles of formula before eleven months and then it was formula for a while, so I know it ain't the end of the world and there is nothing to be smug about in any case.

me - saved dd1's life - only managed to express a tiny amount.

dd2 - saved my sanity whilst I struggled to feed and have my milk come in.

dd3 - helped me meet everyone's needs by being able to give the odd bottle of formula.

As suzy said - 5 months if fab and I firmly believe what works for you and your family is what you do best - as I did/do what works for me and my family.

im not ashamed that i ff, but i am sad. im not ashamed becuse it wasnt my fault.

I am the OP of the other thread.

To those who think it's smug, especially those who decided that it's smug without having actually read it:

"Oh, that thread is so smug". Easy to say, isn't it.

Do you have the slightest idea how much damage you cause with comments like that?

Not to me. I know that anyone calling me smug is just talking a big pile of steaming bollocks. But for every poster on these threads, there are hundreds of lurkers, now and in the future, including a lot of pregnant women and new mums.

What are they learning? That if you're lucky enough to be able to exclusively breastfeed (and it is luck: no matter how much determination you have, the odds are hugely stacked against you) - well, if you're lucky to want to do it and be able to, you must on no account EVER talk about this, because talking about it is smug.

The whole point of my OP (since many of you haven't read it) is that in real life I am made to feel like a 3 headed freak because one of my children has never had formula.

There are now nearly 200 people on that thread who also have been feeling like freaks for the same reason.

We know from objective figures that most breastfed babies have formula sooner or later. So yes, we are unusual. But not freakishly so. Just a smallish minority.

However, because we aren't allowed to mention this in real life (I never have), we're all being led to believe that what we're doing is strange and weird. It's not. It's just one of many different ways of feeding a baby.

I'll say it again: the formula companies must be laughing all the way to the bank. They're not only selling formula to women to can't breastfeed or choose not to; they're also selling formula to people who have no particular need for it but have been led to believe that babies must have it because breastmilk is sooner or later not going to be good enough for their baby.

All thanks to the lovely attitude of the "If you dare to talk about breastfeeding you're so bloody smug" brigade.

ok, smug and victimy at the same time?

Sorry but I am a bfer and it came across smug to me.

Why do you find it smug, m&j?

How can there be smugness in something which is largely a matter of luck?

i agree margot

and m&J, you had absolutely no way of knowing this, but telling a disabled person that they're being "victimy" presses some very unpleasant buttons, so you'll forgive me if I don't address that comment.

well ditto my suggested thread about the fact that I'm 8.5 stone and never had a weight problem (which is not true btw). Also largely a matter of luck and nice to have but also, frankly, not that important in the long run. That's how I feel about extended bf (but not bf itself).

I have repeatedly said on this site that I find the pro bf campaign rather limited in that it gets lost in its own theology.

And those who disagree with the way the pro bf argument is made are shouted down (this very thread being a good example).

I am very pro bf and very turned off by most of the bf discussion on this site. I don't think it's positive or helpful.

Of course you are entitled to ask whatever question you like about bf "as a matter of interest" but I think we probably already know the answer on extended bf. Very few go beyond six months and as I've said earlier on this thread, I really don't see that as a problem. The problem, imho, is that so few people get to six weeks.

If I had a million pounds to spend on a public health message, it wouldn't be to promote extended bf. It would just be to promote bf. And if the bf campaign becomes about extended bf then I think it's doomed to failure.

personally, formula saved bf for me and threads like yours make it seem like the enemy when that wasn't my experience...

cue a bf person coming along to tell me my actual experience is not representative, isn't true, doesn't matter....

oh welliemum, that's just daft. Your disabled comment. Sorry but that's the silliest thing I've ever read.

the thread mentioned feeling "freaky" and "weird" for doing something you're all clearly very proud of quite obviously (and reasonably). That's victimy.

well said margo

i am very pro breastfeeding in rl despite utterances to the contrary BUT a lot of the mumsnet comments leave me fighting the ff corner

I am not ashamed

LOUD AND PROUD

that my baby did get feed when i couldn't brestfeed

little baba is doing great, no eczema, colics, allergies etc..

But all our experiences matter. That's the point.

What you're effectively saying is that my experience doesn't matter - otherwise why else would you say that I shouldn't talk about it?

It has to work both ways or it won't work. I'm always interested to read the experiences of formula feeders - I very nearly was one. I'd like the same courtesy to be extended to me.

And in a ridiculous new twist, person finds a thread about bf a bit irritating and has somehow offended a disabled person in the process...

But welliemum, if you read this thread, experiences are not being listened to.

Some of the arguments often put forward for ff are described as "vacuous trilling"...

I am not a ff person. I bfed. But this victimisation thing is just ridiculous.

Read my post again. I'm telling you why I personally will not address that point - maybe someone else will. It's too close to the bone with me. You couldn't know that.