why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

[mehdismummy]

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

I'm feeding my 2.3 dd, and am 17 weeks pg. I never imagined it before, but I'm thinking I will end up tandem feeding if she doesn't wean herself before then. The only problem is it really hurts at the moment when she latches on, though the pain subsides after a minute

2.10. Never set out to do it this long but he's still super keen, I can still see benefits to him and it's no hardship for me. Some days it's just breakfast and bed times, others it can be 5-6 times a day. I always know when he is going to be ill as he feeds more and I know he shakes things off quicker than most, if not all, of his peers.

For someone who generally cares what people think a bit more than is probably sensible I am surprised at how confident I feel that continuing to BF DS is the right thing to do.

DS still feeds out and about as necessary. Apart from a business woman on a train from Chester to London last month who regarded us with a look of horrified fascination, I've never had a bad reaction. MIL gave up asking when I was going to stop when DS was about 9 months, DH is supportive and if my friends disaprove then they hide it very well!

DS calls it "Mawlk". He doesn't have any cow's milk so has never needed to differentiate it.

Hi Minster - I am feeding dd 2 and am 6 wks pg. Happy to tandem if dd is still happy to feed when the time comes. How much time will be between your two?
MM if dd is poorly, bm is the one thing she will always take!
Georgie - I like your DH's style mine thinks along very similar lines.

I feel pretty smug about him, he is not perfect (who is?) but on this issue he cannot be faulted. He wasn't BF and none of his family BF their children but he is millitantly pro BFing.

I don't feed DS during the day (except yesterday as a one off once, he was so tired and teethy, and instantly fell asleep in my arms like a little newborn love him) but he shows no sign of giving up the bedtime feed anytime soon! Can't see tandem feeding issue arising for me, number 2 is a way off

georgiemama, 13 months isn't even particularly long term. I'd be extremely if my friends had made comments like that.
I fed DSs for 16 months and 20 months (only at night towards the end) and it never occurred to me that people would find it freaky.

TBH I think I would have found the idea a bit odd before I had him, but he is still so little to me it doesn't seem weird at all. Breasts are not just for hanging a sweater off, as my mum's very old scottish doctor told her when she was pregnant.

Hi Minster, currently BF DS 1 year and DD 3.5 occasionally. Weaned DD at 2.2 whilst approx 20 weeks pregnant as told would have to have a CS with DTs and was only person to put her to bed after feed. Needed distracting a little but was not to bothered. I was gutted She just had the occasional snifter after this; however after DTs born she saw DS feeding and was tempted to start again and I saw no reason to stop her. She only does it occasionally and usually does it to wind DH up who does not actually object just has a joke with her about it.

Previously I thought a friend was weird to BF her son past 1 . I am now a bit of a get them out anywhere and how dare anyone object to me feeding my children and wished I had been more vocal in my support. BTW was not rude about her feeding her DS just intrigued it ultimately helped me think it was okay for me to do it.

DH also pro BF and has encouraged some friends to persuade their DPs to BF. Neither of us would have expected DD to still feed and just hoped we could establish successful BF initially.

ooh congrats to the pg ladies

I'm not an extended breastfeeder, yet, but (most) of this thread is a joy to read! When I got pregnant with DS I planned to breastfeed, but like so many others had the six months stuck in my head. It hadn't even occurred to me I would feed past then. But here we are nearly 9 months on, still feeding away. I hope I'll keep breastfeeding until B is ready to stop, whenever that is. Threads like this on mumsnet and other sites opened my mind to extended breast feeding and I am v grateful for that (as is my son, I'm sure!)

Hmm, another Lyra...

cor Lyra, didn't take you long to spot your namesake!

I'll join in as back up. DS2 is 2 next week, only recently night weaned (though not a moment too soon!) and nurses 3-4 times a day. He shows no sign of wanting to give that up and I don't care.

As for what he's gaining from it, it's the comfort and closeness he craves as an otherwise busy toddler. He's being evaluated for possible autism, so I'm very grateful that he wants that contact.

Anyone who sees something "wrong" or disgusting in a 2 year old breastfeeding needs to examine their own moral standards pretty closely. Do you seriously think there is something sexual in having a toddler nursing?

(just to add re: my last paragraph that I know nobody's said that here, but I've seen it said and that attitude really makes my skin crawl)

I live in Japan, where thankfully extended breastfeeding is still the norm. Many women here breastfeed untill 3, and that is what is reccommened by the doctors. I would say that speaking to other mothers in my toddler groups, the average length of breastfeeding is around 18 months.
My DD is 20 months and I'm still breastfeeding her- I have no idea how I'm going to stop because its obviously the reason why she never gets ill, and also I know that it chills her out a lot, kind of a meditation I suppose with the rythmic sucking. (But I want to try for #2 soon and my period hasn't returned, so I may have to stop for it to do so)

hi sak my friend was bf and she fell pg. Where are you in japan btw?

I agree, Lyra75!

i dont know what is wrong with ds he has been practically camped out on my boobies today. Maybe it has something to do with his cold. I have a abcess in my mouth and feel very sorry for myself

I have just stumbled across this thread, and although I can't strictly join the extended BF club, I did BF my youngest son until he was 14 months old. He never had a bottle atall, just me.

Then one night (yes, he was a bad sleeper!) he suddenly decided enough was enough and wouldn't latch on. He was still crying, but just did not want to know. That was it - kaput, finito, no more!

He decided to end it, and I was absolutely mortified and heart broken.

Having said that, I count myself lucky to have been able to feed him for so long. It was a unique, special experience I shall never be able to replicate.

My eldest son was a different story - I only managed 8 weeks with him, but he wasn't good at latching on, plus I was very ill for a while after I had him which didn't help.

Hi medhi, I'm in the South of Japan (best not be too specific- it'll be obvious to people who know me who I am)
Re conceiving, the problem is I'm not ovulating- I feel a pain in the side when I ovulate and it hasn't happened since I had DD, so I'm guessing I'll have to stop BFing before I can conceive

But I have to add that it has been brilliant not having periods for over a year! My iron sources have been replenished. I know you lose iron when you breastfeed because breastmilk is full of it, but the amount of iron you must conserve by not having periods must make up for this. I have more energy now than I've ever had, even as a teenager, because my body has managed to build up its iron reserves. But I suppose that is how its supposed to be- breastfeeding helps you to recover from the previous birth and prepare you for the next pregnancy.

I have just seen this thread and will try and read it all tomorrow!

I'm breastfeeding my dd (21 months) on demand (although now when we are out and about she rarely asks but I do try and distract because of the funny looks I get)
she still feeds like a trooper and really can't see it stopping any time soon.

I'm now at the point where family members including at times my dp ask me when i'm going to stop , and I think that it is unconsiously having an effect as i'm even wandering now.......but it really doesn't bother me too much except i'd love to have a day/night off (dd has never taken a bottle and I have trouble expressing).

I always used to think that extended bfeeding was weird but it just seems natural to me now-not weird at all

Bitty does make me cringe though and to be honest I think it has harmed peoples perceptions of extended bfeeding

Been following the thread but not posted until now. I see minster is on the thread further down, think our paths have crossed on the Dec antenatal?

DS is coming up for 21 months and usually bf just first thing in the morning (sometimes in the night too). Bedtime we replaced with a cup of milk about 6 wks ago as I was working late for a few evenings and he hasn't asked for bf at that time since.

He asks for 'mulk', but this can be my milk or cows milk depending on context. I've jsut found out that I'm pg, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable at the beginning of feeds - seems like I'm feeling his teeth more than usual IYSWIM (although he may be getting last set of molars too...). It's not unbearable tho, so just taking it one day at a time.

My mum thinks I should be winding up, but has stopped making comments (mostly). I haven't really fed in public since about a year as DS stopped asking for it when out and about then, also co-incided with me going back to work part-time.

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