why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

[mehdismummy]

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

Oh forgot to add that although my DH was very supportive of me BF, he is not totally into the idea of extended BF. How do your partners react to you BF into toddlerhood? How could I persuade mine (alhtough he is a big softie and I can easily get my own way )

Article about extended breastfeeding

Also details of a study which indicated that children who had been bf may deal with emotional stress in their lives more robustly here

My DS2 was really sick when he was around 18months, fever, constant vomitting etc. I just BF him around the clock and it was the only fluid he could keep down. I am sure in other circumstances he would have been hospitalised.

In answer to your question roseability, re DPs. My DH is fully supportive and almost militant about BF . He has said things to husbands of friends who bottle feed that would have me shot down in flames!
Saying that, I think he was pleased when DS2 stopped at 2 years although the big plus for him is that I am always designated driver!

I intend to continue bfing ds (15 months) till whenever...

For those of you who have fed past two already, is this true: 'If you choose to breastfeed into toddlerhood, you may find that the "terrible twos" never materialize.' (from the 101 reasons link posted by a pp)

Ha! No, def NOT true.

My dd1 has the WORST tantrums - full on screaming etc. Tho' I guess it really materialized when she was 3 and still carries on now (she is 5).

Don't tell me she would have been worse if not bf - there is no worse.....

I don't see much of the terrible two's (DS is 2.4years)and when I do, I sometimes say that DS should behave or he wont get "Nee nee", which works...it is also the only way he can get to sleep sometimes.

I think people who go on about extended feeding for the mother's benefit haven't got a clue really, it is clearly beneficial for the baby.

I breastfed all three of my children for a year. However, IMO I think extended breastfeeding past that time is certainly unecessary. I am currently weaning my 1 year old off me and she actually really enjoys her formula which I'm surprised at! I am a huge fan of breastfeeding and was lucky enough to be able to exclusively breastfeed my DD's for 12 months and combination feed my DS ( he was a real guzzler!) but once they start getting top teeth that's it for me! Apart from other considerations, I can't cope with the biting! My DD tugs and chews on my nipples, she pokes at them with her fingers and I can't cope with the pain. I'm really bored now of being tethered by the tit. She's had my breastmilk for a year so I'm making a bid for my freedom and taking my saggy boobs with me

DD is 5months tomorrow and I 've just started back at work 3 days a week. I am expressing and DD takes EBM with no problem. DH is looking after DD while I work. I am already getting sick of people asking me when I'm stopping. I feel like I've just started!!! She's tiny still. I hope to go till she is at least a year but probably longer. Depends when number 2 comes along I guess.

When my sister?s were Bfing, they called BEEEEEE, with hands outstretched in a grabbing motion.

Although I haven?t had the chance to BF, I have been exposed to some great friends who have BF beyond 3years and none of them had a bottle; they went straight to a cup. All the kids are healthy, smart and well adjusted. I plan on Bfing till children feel they?re done. One friend whose dd had 22 operations before she was 2 (born with bowels on the outside) swears that although extremely difficult to feed baby, (tubes everywhere) she was diligent and baby showed rapid improvement considering circumstances. At 8, she speaks 4 languages fluently and has turned into a bit of a math genius. My sister on the other did not BF either her ds or dd because she thought it was disgusting and embarrassingand you can tell they're simply not as adjusted and the connection with mom is different.

Not only is there nutritional benefits for a child, but for mother?s body in terms of getting back in shape, sort of speak. There is also a psychological connection. The breast is the first ?object? a being looses. (a bit Freudian here). When the object is not given up freely, there is a constant fear of loosing ?objects? again hence a child does not acquire independence as they do when the choice is theirs. I understand that not all mothers get the opportunity to BF because of work.

Do none of your lovely children bite? I feel like a wuss reading these comments. I stopped BFing when DS was 10mths cos I was being constantly bitten! Ouch!

My DD went through a biting phase, but she soon sussed it was a bad idea when she got pulled off abruptly. I think they do it when they first start getting teeth as are not quite sure what to do with them. Now at 2.8 biting is not a problem despite a mouthful of teeth.

i am bf ds, he will be 3 later this week. he hasn't bitten me for years, althoguh he sometimes pretends he is going to to make me laugh.

Bf and work are certainly not incompatible. I bf dd1 till she was over 3 and am now bfing dd2 (15 months). I went back to work 4 days a week when dd1 was 7 months - ebm until she was 1 year old.

Work should not be a barrier to bfing, and it is a pity when women feel they have to give up bfing if they work.

Agree Fondant - I had to go back to work full time when dd was only 7 wks old. (worked from home a lot to begin with though)
I bf'd (with the help of ebm) exclusively for first few months and she is still feeding now at just 2.
You are definitely not alone MM
Honeydew - please read some of the research on extended bf to correct your thinking it is not useful and important. WHO recommends bf until at least 2

i went back to work when ds was ten months and worked evenings he had a bf at seven pm and then when i came in! He waits to i come home now before feeding. Do all you guys think your dc are more contented and happy and secure because you have bf because i certainly do. I am also well into co sleeping etc. My little man is in no doubt at all how much he is loved!

I have to admit to not being a fan of extended breastfeeding except in developing countries and that is my opinion. I personally don't see why toddlers NEED to be breastfed when all their nutritonal demands are met via other foods. If they have been breastfed as babies, then they have a good immunity already established. I also don't want to come across as negative but I do think 2+ is too old. My children have been nourished on breastmilk for their first year( my two daughters with no formula at all). Athough I have not researched this topic in any detail, I thought that the WHO recommended that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months, but also support extended feeding if that is the mother's choice.

I have been contiinously breastfeeding my babies for almost 4 years now, so I'm bailing out! All of my 3 children have gone straight to a training cup and none have had a dummy. It's obviously a personal decision as to how long you should continue feeding and no one should tell you to stop if you don't feel ready. My choice is to stop at a year (ish) as children start to develop an awareness and some independence. I don't like being bitten by my DD, it's very painful and she's waening herself off me anyway.

Extended breasfeeding must surely also depend very much on your situation and having had children very close together, there is no way I could or wanted to have carried on breastfeeding in late pregnancy or feed the older ones when I had a demanding newborn.

WHO says exclusive BF for 6 months.
Then BF + food until at least aged 2.

Everyone makes their own decisions, and I'm sure that a lot of people wouldn't want to do it. The OP does choose to, and was just saying that she was sick of the shocked faces and unhelpful comments from people like her GP, HV and boss.

Honeydew, if you didnt want to b/feed your children beyond 12 months that is of course entirely your choice.

That doesnt mean children don't "NEED" to b/feed beyond 12 months.

A child can probably get most of it's nutritional needs through diet from beyond 12 months, but b/milk is full of nutrients and antibodies and all comes in one, easy to digest, readily available source. Why wouldnt you take advantage of that?

12 months is a good start to the immunity, but b/feeding continues to boost this for as long as you do it, and as discussed below, a child's immunity isnt fully formed until they reach 6 or 7 years of age.

Why do you think 2+ years is too old? What makes it appropriate at 729 days old, and inappropriate at 731, 732, 733 etc days old?

There are lots of valid reasons for discontinuing b/feeding. But, tandem b/feeding is very possible, should you want to do it, and quite a few mothers on MN have done so. If you didnt want to continue, or couldnt, then that is fine by me, but, I'd hate to think you were discounting it for a reason that could be overcome with the right support and help

Shhh don't tell anyone but DD BF this am and she is almost 3.5. She grins at me as she is doing it and then tells Daddy "I've had Mummy milk" and he laughs and says she is a baby but doesn't mind really. She thinks it is funny but occasionally has it at night as a snuggly feed prior to going to sleep. Bit of a handful though DS and DD at once.

i have only ds at moment and he has a cold so feeding more than normal but at least something is getting down him

I fed ds2 up to 2 weeks before his 3rd birthday - so only a few month ago.

He still asks for 'jubaba' occasionally but then laughs.

I kind of miss it in some ways

...and I have strategically ignored the misinformed opinions from a minority of posters on this thread....

oh thank goodness I'm not the only freaky long term breast feeder, 2 of my dearest friends who I haven't caught up with for a while both thought it most bizarre that I am still feeding DS agde 13 months at bedtime; I was a bit hurt really, I got the full "bitty" treatment - and they both breastfed theirs!! Not for very long though. I thought it would be time to stop at a year but DS doesn't want to. DH is being fabulous, he says DS will stop when he is ready and what goes own between us three is no one's business.

its horrible that your friends react like that isnt it. Well done georgie and your dh is right it is nobody else business

Is anyone currently breastfeeding a toddler while pregnant? (or any experience of tandem feeding) It's early days & I'm quite prepared for ds self weaning, but if anything he's feeding more than ever!