why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

[mehdismummy]

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

i think its a personal choice and not really anything to do with anyone else

but i do think this look here
is just a bit too old!

2.3 years? Really, its not shocking at all. if you were bf a 15-year-old, that would be a different matter.

I bf DSs till they were 16 months and 19 months.

A lot of people take the 6 months thing to be a maximum, when really it should be a minimum.

i have just finished work so just winding down and waiting for ds to stop snoring! I am awful if i sleep to early too! Its all the years of shift work!

yes i think eight is far too old too. Its nice to see i am not the only one bf a toddler though. It was a great thread though i even got promised boobs and nipples!

can I join please? DS 10 months old and still bf. Everybody couldn't believe it when I was still bf-ing at 6 months and then, when he got teeth I must be a f-r-e-a-k

I must admit thought before I had DS I thought bf over a year or so weird . How ignorant. Now when people get embarrassed about my bf-ing, particularly mothers, I feel sorry for them. If only they knew.

Will only be stopping when we feel like it.

Hi there, just thought I'd add my tuppenceworth. There was a thread like this after the "Extraordinary Breastfeeding" programme was first shown (the one that the extract on youtube is from). Directly from that thread, I found I'd become much more open-minded about bf. My ds self-weaned at 9 months, but I went on to bf my dd until her third birthday because of what I learned on mn, and what it inspired me to go and read for myself. From what I know now, I probably could have fed ds for longer if I'd known how to go about it.
So go for it! Feed mehdi for as long as you and he want! It is precisely no-one elses business. You should be proud of yourself for giving him such a good start in life. Has anyone put in the 101 reasons link yet?
And as a final note, see here and here.

mawbroon, I also could not conceive whilst bf and this was why I gave up. The health visitor and the midwife both assured me that there was no link with bf and inability to conceive as after 6 months it wasnt a contraceptive but whaddya know? Two weeks after stopping I was pregnant after months of trying beforehand. Both times. Mediaeval bones show us that children were fed well into childhood by their mums- well, no medicine. I fed dd1 till 2 dd2 till 18 months and ds till 18 months, now feeding no 4 at 3 months. Two women with babies laughed at me while I was bf in Stabucks yesterday coc they'd obvoiusly never seen it b4 but this is Plymouth...
Would any one feed a schoolage child or is this too old?

I BF DS2 til 2years. People were really funny about it especially friends. It used to really calm him down when having a tantrum. TBH, he is such a full on 3 year old that if I was still BFing him now, I am sure he would be much calmer. DS 3 is 3months old and I plan on feeding him as long as he wants.

By the way did anyone know that extended BFing can help prevent neurological disorders and illnesses such as MS? Lots of other nutrtional and health benefits.

As I see it the WHO recommendations completely justify extended bfing. Carry on the good work.

Hi, I'm feeding DS who will be 2 next month. Never intended to feed this lon, but I've never felt that I wanted to give up IYSWIM. DS down to one feed a day now - morning- by his choice and is very cute about it.

DH keeps saying that DS ought to be giving up that feed around his birthday, but I don't think that'll happen. He said the same thing last year !

ds got a cold poor little man. All he has wanted to do this am is feed. Not getting a lot of housework done tbh

ellideb - you said ....

"They do not need the added immunity that your breast milk provides because at that age their own immune system is fully functioning and they are probably getting exposed to, and aquiring immunity from infections that they pick up in from the environment and other people."

Wrong - the immune system is extremely immature at age 2 (see below - not mature until age 14). Yes they are acquring immunity all the time from infections BUT breast milk supports their ability to fight off infections and boost their immunity. Why do you think children get so many colds - because their immunity is not fully developed.

"A child?s immune system is not fully developed before the age of 14, making kids under this age particularly susceptible to infection and sickness. What little immunity they do start life with is passed on from the mother via the placenta (before birth) and then in breast milk. This is known as passive immunity and is fairly short"

See whole page at "Immune System lived.www.whatreallyworks.co.uk/start/kidszone.asp?article_ID=559"

I'll join too, in the junior section with DS now 15 months and very keen - particularly now because he's been ill for the last couple of days.

Ellideb - actually their immune system isn't fully developed until around 6 years of age.

Yes, they've already aquired a lot from the breastfeeding and can start to assimilate immunity to some things themselves, but it isn't fully up and running till after about 6.

and WHATS wrong with a comfort suck?
nothing!

what do dummies and bottles replace?

a childs comfort is important.

Every day you see older children with dummies and bottles etc, so why the raised eye brows at breastfeeding.

I am not at all disaproving of dummies or bottles, I used the myself, but I also breastfed all four of my children for years.

Parenting only becomes easier when you accept that you are doing your personal best for your child. Sod what others think.

A friend of mine only gave up BFing when her DD was 4! Although TBH it was more a case of comfort BFing then anything else...

its nice to lots of mummies still feeding and i think ellie was enlightened by this thread and thats what the problem is. There is not alot of info out there for extended bf as hv only really encourage it up until six months.

I think that our culture is so orientated towards the breast being for the sexual pleasure of men that people cannot see past that to its maternal function. It's just so typical of our uptight society.
My f in law used to fly out of the room when I bf my ds. It does seem weird to me and slightly unhinged but it's just culture I think. If people were bought up to find it normal then they would not react like they do.
I bf my ds until he was 2 but stopped any public bf around 1 or 1.5 years. I just hated those pinched looks and didn't feel strident enough to do it in public on principle although I admire those who do.
I bf just at night at the end and when ds was ill or particularly upset, but then only privately.
I'm so glad I bf, I feel it was a massively bonding experience and brilliant to be able to give him a boost of my own immunities. I think bf him was one of the most peaceful experiences ever and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I wish everyone was lucky enough to have had the support I had from my m and s to carry on despite a very tough beginning.
I think people should stop when they're ready. I was really ready by the time he was 2, still sad when it stopped but ready. Good luck with whatever you do, I hope you do what you want and what you think is best for your child.

can i join this thread? am still bfing dd and she's 22 and a half months, she loves it, i love it and mostly my friends and family are very supportive so i'm lucky i guess.

it is very sad that society see womens breasts as playthings for men. I will say it again. If god had made breasts purely for mens excitement they would have come out with the sun newspaper written across them. Why is my argument do they produce milk if they were not for this purpose? Shows how sad the world has become

hi pam of course you can. Well done you for bf this long. I am typing this whilst fighting ds off to stop him feeding now!

Hi, have not read all this thread but just wanted to add my peice! I didn't bf my first 2 beyond 6wks for various reasons, but really wanted to persevere with dd2. I have and am loving bf her at 8mths. Only do it at bedtime now, though, due to work but have no intention of giving that up for a long time. DH is great and very supportive, but recently started making the odd comment, such as when we were discussing a wedding in August that we are going to, he said 'well, you won't still be bf then, will you?'. I asked him whether he didn't like the fact that i was still bf, and he said he is fine with it and just genuinly didn't think that i would still be doing it at that point. Think it's just so 'not the norm' that people just don't expect it (lets face it, people have issues with bf a tiny baby in public ffs). I think the comment made that 6mths is seen as the maximum rather than the minimum is very true. My thoughts are, bf as long as you like, as i intend to (although I do have to say 8yrs old seems a little old, but i may feel differently in time, who knows, never thought I'd still be bf at 8mths!)

I bf dd1 until she was 3.5 - she gave up when the new baby arrived. I'm sure a lot of people would be about it . It's none of their business.

TBH I didn't tell people I bf after dd1 got to about 2-2.5 . From about 20 months I started telling her it was only at home. From about 2.5 years old it was only at bedtimes.

It's not worth the hassle of telling people, and why would you want to any way. It's Ok to be bfing if you feel it's OK. Before I had dd1 I thought I'd do it for a year, then 2, then ... well I just didn't see the need to take it away from her.

I think 4 was my limit. If she hadn't given up voluntarily by 4 I would have found a way of saying goodbye to it - at least I think I would....

My dh was absolutely fine about it, saw it as normal - and I think that makes a huge difference.

yes i suppose that has the only real thing i have real support from him on was bf but then again he has never questioned anything to do with how i bring ds up

Hi great thread! I BF my DS until he was one, he self weaned really or I would have BF him for longer. He loves his food and eats such a varied diet, perhaps this is why he self weaned? Toddlers generally can still be quite fussy and maybe don't get all the nutrients they need, thus it is a good idea to keep BF. I am ttc #2 currently and should I be lucky enough to have another I would be more than happy to BF into toddlerhood. I think extended BF is part of a whole ethos of attachment parenting. In our society we are obsessed with milestones and making children independent (I think partly because we don't have the support of extended families/communities). I love the idea of the continuum concept (extended BF, co-sleeping, self weaning etc) and babies brought up in developing countries with this method seem to do well in terms of being setttled, content etc. I also wonder if this style of parenting and the support to do it would help a lot of the bonding issues and PND that so many women suffer (me included). I totally believe BF helped me to bond with my DS and although I still had a degree of PND/anxiety on the really bad days, cuddling up on the sofa and BF while he gazed up at me helped me from really getting low and gave me a sense of achievement.