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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

362 replies

mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:08

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 20/04/2008 14:13

I think I would be quite surprised to find someone bfing a child of that age, even tho I bf dd2 til she was 14 mths, it seems that when they are talking they seem more like little adults to most people and I guess it makes them uncomfortable, I think you should concentrate more on what they do after the initial shocked reaction. As with a moments thought it wouldn't bother me at all.
My ex boss bf her dd1 til she was about 2 ish and some mths, and got a bit freaked out when she started asking for the other sideit's only cos it isn't really "the norm" here.

Anyway I really dont think having the odd drink will matter anyway, I used to bfing both the girls.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2008 14:17

Because it's icky ... not when they can talk/walk/undo your bra ... haven't you ever heard of bitty etc etc
Right, that out of the way, I'd love to join, unfortunately DS is only one so I don't think I qualify yet
Really hope I'm still doing it in a years time, unless he chooses to stop (can't see that happening, he's a milk monster!)

137wallis · 20/04/2008 14:20

I don't qualify as an extended breast feeder yet, fed my ds4 until he was 20 months, but am planning on feeding my 11month old ds until we both feel its time to stop! however I am already getting from most people I know "oh you arn't still bf him are you, he would be fine with formula now! very annoying, so can I join in anyway!?

Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:20

he asks for other one! He has self weaned himself really and i dont see why i should feel pressured to stop just because its not seen as the 'norm'. I am told he should stop as he does not need it. Is there anyone who is still bf past two?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2008 14:22

plenty on MN i think!
erm...ask them iof they need that coffee / chocolate / cigarette?
they could easily have a glass of water instead, after all

Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:24

you are all welcome to join. My little man has always been a milk monster. I find it lovely when he asks for milk and then when i say no he says bed because he knows thats when he is allowed it!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2008 14:26

I think it's boys - the little girls I know have always been a bit take it or leave it after about 6 months, all little boys seem to need to know where and when their next feed is coming!
OK, I will join, as a junior (pre-18 mo) member

BandofMothers · 20/04/2008 14:30

Aaah, he has you sussed

You shouldn't feel pressured into stopping just cos it isn't the norm. But you may need to grow a thicker skin and just ignore people. I would certainly tell anyone who actually had the nerve to tell me I should stop where they could get off

BandofMothers · 20/04/2008 14:30

and my little dd2 was a milk monster too, and I think she would still have it now at 20 mths if I hadn't stopped earlier than that.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2008 14:31

ah well, girls as well - bang goes that theory

BandofMothers · 20/04/2008 14:34

She still has the odd poke at them, esp when I am naked like she remembers vaguely what she used to use them for, she's a cheeky little git

goingfor3 · 20/04/2008 14:34

I breatfed my dd2 until 2.6 years. Only close family and friends knew. I can't see why you can't go out and slighty drunk occaionally.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:40

oh tbh the thought of going out and getting so wasted until i throw up(thats what they do) does not appeal to me. Going did you self wean or did you stop it ? Band my ds has had me sussed since he was born!

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 20/04/2008 14:42

They're clever that way, most people underestimate their child's ability to be one step ahead of them at all times

I can't get trashed anymore, I hate the throwing up thing, it's a waste of money and esp when you have to get up at the crack of dawn with noisy little gits children. It is nice to go out for a few tho and have a good time.

goingfor3 · 20/04/2008 14:47

mehdismummy dd was still feeding a few times during the day and throughout the night too as she was in our bed. I really had had enough (wouldn't have minded if she was jst feeding once or twice a day). I told her the milk had run out and she accepted that! I didn't feel full of milk or leak after I stopped so I suspect she wasn't drinking any milk for a long time just comfort sucking. She is four now ans still plays with my boobs if I have no clothes on and if she's upset likes to snuggle up to them.

Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:48

tis true about the half past sparrow fart! Then he has the cheek to yawn later on!

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 14:52

aah that is so lovely to hear that she still cuddles. I am gonna wait for a bit longer till he understands that its run out but i dont think he will really notice until bed time. He also sleeps with me. What age did she grow out of that?

OP posts:
mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 20/04/2008 14:54

how rude of them. I bf my ds till he was 2.4 and never thought anything of it. All my friends at play group knew and anyone else who asked. I wasnt ashamed of it, infact I was very proud. My ds is a confident little boy who self weaned and has no issues with it whatsoever.
Keep going with it

goingfor3 · 20/04/2008 14:58

A few days after she stopped bf we collected the bed from my mums house and she was very happy to go into it. She sleep in a room with her sister which made it easier for her though annoyed her sister! She still comes to our bed in the night maybe every other week which we quite like and we know it won't go on forever!

Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 15:00

thanks mrs! I have no intention of stopping yet and i am also proud it just bugs me when other so called professionals behave like twats. He i believe is the way he is because he shares a close bond with me.its are special thing together and lets face it. As soon as he gets older he will want daddy more!

OP posts:
Original poster
mehdismummy · 20/04/2008 15:03

its funny he goes to bed in his big boy bed but always end up in mine halfway through the night!

OP posts:
ellideb · 20/04/2008 15:06

I don't wish to come across as negative and anti-breast because I'm not and I fully support BF in all other aspects but I do think that 2+ is too old for BF.

They are not gaining anything from your breast milk in terms of nutrition because they are getting all that they need from their diet.

They do not need the added immunity that your breast milk provides because at that age their own immune system is fully functioning and they are probably getting exposed to, and aquiring immunity from infections that they pick up in from the environment and other people.

In terms of comfort, what is wrong with a cuddle, a kiss and some positive attention from mum? I'm sure you do this anyway, but I don't think a child should associate this affection with the breast at this age.

My concerns would be that you are prolonging the 'baby' stage for your own reasons of not being able to let go, and not allowing your toddler to develop emotionally into a young child.

I'm sure my comments are in the minority and I don't wish to be contravertial but they are concerns nonetheless.

lackaDAISYcal · 20/04/2008 15:11

The plain answer is that you shouldn't.

All other primates BF until around the time their baby's milk teeth fall out and happily tandem feed as well. Why shouldn't we be the same? Just because we have the technology to milk other animals and drink that, doesn't mean it's better for us

My DD is 10 months, so a bit young to join an extended BFing thread, but we already get the "oh, you can surely stop that now" comments. My MIL was trying (in her cack handed way) to ask if I was still feeding her myself the other day, and couldn't even bring herself to use the words, opting for the "is she taking a bottle full time" approach.

Good for you mehdismummy, btw.

lackaDAISYcal · 20/04/2008 15:12

ellideb, the WHO support BFing until two years and beyond.

lackaDAISYcal · 20/04/2008 15:13

oh, my first post was you shouldn't feel bad, not you shouldn't BF, but I think that was obvious from the rest of my post?

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