was this a stupid thing to say?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

my cousins just had her third baby, baby is a week old, when talking to my mum after mum had been to visit, mum said the baby was going every three hours, and that she got to have a cuddle after the baby had been fed.

when mum said the baby was being bottlefed, i said oh thats a shame, mum got quite annoyed with me.
i would not of said that to my cousin or aunt or anything.
and now im wondering if i was out of order saying that.
please be honest, i won't mind if you say i was, i just thought it a shame

carrot ..yes my "everyone" was a bit sweeping!

However since most people put far more junk in their babies at 8 weeks than was ever contained in a bottle of formula I still think those who talk of the physiological dangers are on thin ice.

Ta llama No harm done

I was bottlefed, and I hope my dear mum knows that I DO NOT blame/criticize/look down on her for her choice as she is bloomin wonderful.

I hate having words put in my mouth.

This thread is exhausting to read! Round and round and sodding round!

"Out of all the posters on here today, not one has been ridiculed, yes ridiculed, I refer to the little ohh comments, about the choice of breast, why is that, because it was your choice, you only have to re read to see that bf mothers feel they have the right to pick apart another womans feeding choice, this is puzzeling to me."

• Bloody right cola!

Do I come on here and moan about the fact that I had to each lunch across from a woman who had her MAHOOSIVE, leaking, swollen baps out feeding her very TINY baby today? No. Why? Because it's her choice to do that. I don't enjoy looking at that, and it's rather hard to avoid when it's sat right in front of you! But it's her choice to do it, good on her. I don't have 'issues' with breasts or anything, I just don't like looking at other womens tits leaking whilst I'm attempting to eat my lunch!

Nearly every woman on here has picked and picked at 2 women because of a choice they made. And regardless of how you all see it, you have been like a bunch of vultures pecking your way through meat! You say you respect their decisions, but then feel it necassary to post links and type about how awful and dangerous ff is. You sound like a bunch of scare mongers! Leave them alone. They've made their choices, stop trying to influence your feelings on them.

I've bf and ff, and can honestly say myself and my dd were both happier and more settled when I switched to formula. I think my baby was constantly hungry whilst I bf and I found it to be quite an upsetting period, even though I did enjoy doing it sometimes. I would absolutley give bf a go if I had another child, but if it doesn't work out, oh well. I remember being in hospital and at baby classes watching distressed mothers and screaming babies because bf wasn't working. It was horrid to watch.

I would much rather ff and know I have a happy, full, content baby then put myself and dd through all that. Say what you want about health risks, I went with my instinct and it told me my child was screaming, hungry and distressed. I didn't hesitate in opening the formula - and I didn't feel bad.

Lookatthelottie

Your post is horrible and offensive. Your way of viewing this thread, and the breastfeeding mother you saw today, is warped and ugly.

It is impossible for me to respect anything you have to say after reading what you just write.

Ugh.

LookattheLottie - bravo, very well said.
I've never known a group of women be obsessed with how OTHER people choose to feed their children. It's bizarre.

Notice you haven't answered my questions either Nancy.

I'll take it that you have no answer, because you were in the wrong, shall I?

I've answered all these questions before on a previous thread and not interested in being drawn into it again.
I just wanted to support Colacube who, I felt, was being ganged up on.

Maybe you should have moved lottie if you found her large breasts so offensive that they put you off your lunch.

"You say you respect their decisions, but then feel it necassary to post links and type about how awful and dangerous ff is"

not 'awful and dangerous', that is your interpretation of evidence based articles which show the risks of formula feeding.

Scary thing to think about, i agree when we have been drip fed to believe that formula is almost as good as breastmilk, etc.

Just because you find the evidence awful and dangerous doesn't mean it is a bad thing to hear about them.

Lots of things, say STDs and illegal drug use are truly are awful and dangerous but no one is against educating the public about them.

No, you haven't answered them.

You've just made daft accusations (poison?) and strange statements, then refused to be drawn on what the hell you mean by them.

on THIS thread.

I actually was trying to be supportive of cola. Like most other people on this thread, I've been trying to be nice.

What Lottie wrote is the nastiest thing I've seen in a while, and you applaud her? Shame on you.

Right, I'm done.

Lottie, I reported your post. But if it doesn't get deleted I do hope no new, nervous mum reads it and worries about bf in public.

Champion work.

"but have seen too many mums bottlefeeding their babies in car seats/bottle propping/feeding their babies at an arms length to feel that this is the way it always is"

Sabire, this is sad that you feel this is always the way it is. I personally HATE seeing babies fed this way. It seems that the mother just can't be bothered or that feeding is an inconvenience. Especially when all the mother is doing is standing idly by chatting!

I always held my dd when feeding, couldn't not really. I loved that closeness & chance to sing/talk to her.

bumping head against desk

Anyone noticed the OP has moved on?

Get a life ladies.

I was ff and I'm fine.

Ds is ff and he is fine. I tried to bf and I couldn't, got no help from MW or HV, so I HAD to bottle feed him. I'd rather he had a full tummy and as happy and content then be starving and in distress because I couldn't feed him.

But when I have another baby I will try again to breast feed.

So now we have to stop discussing the issue, because the OP is no long around?

Oh Please!

But If you read the whole thread, you'll notice everything has already been said, and lots of shouting too.
what is there to add?

Good for you Kay - really hope you get some better help next time - from HPs or MNers
Lottie - if it offends you - move. Just don't post such an offensive comments that could put people off bfing in public.
Nancy - your post is very unbalanced. You can't have a crack at the links re ff saying they are 'rubbish' unless you have something to back it up with - be fair please!
I don't think I have had a go at ff - I am very pro-choice; just think it is important that mums make their choices fully informed, when they are in possession of all the info (good and bad). Ignoring info when making choices doesn't help anyone

"Sabire, this is sad that you feel this is always the way it is"

No - what I was saying was that you can bottlefeed with all the physical closeness of breastfeeding but that it doesn't happen all the time unless mums make an effort to do it this way.

I do think this is something mws and hv's should cover in the first few days after birth with bottlefeeding mums - explain the rationale for skin to skin contact while feeding etc.

Thanks Jackstini,
I was quite upset about it at first but it got easier.
I am going to really push the MW or HV to help me next time.

Sabire, I agree..it is entirely possible to have that, if you make the effort.

Sad that some don't...

there are a lot of ignorant statements on this thread
I know breast is best but I don't believe the statistics and research findings about formula

Lottie, your post was nasty nasty NASTY! I can't believe you don't see that.

I agree Sabire - so much of what happens after baby arrives is not covered in AN classes or by mw/hv after!

Lottie, you were insulting and unkind.

Cola, the 'we' I referred to (you asked who the 'we' was when I said 'we have had threads which have asked why people breastfeed') was 'we' who use mumsnet, the mumsnet user community as a whole if you like.

stuffitllama says, 'most people put far more junk in their babies at 8 weeks than was ever contained in a bottle of formula' and has mystified me. Are you talking about immunisation?? No one has said formula contains 'junk' (or 'poison', either).

Nancy complains about links being posted - links are posted as part of the discussion, and if people are unconvinced by evidence, then links contribute to demonstrating the evidence. Perfectly reasonable....

I might be a shame that mum chose to bottle feed, but I would keep it to myself, not even sharing with my mum.

Why does everyone assume a bottle contains formula?

My sister tried, it didn't work for her but non of us went about making her feel guilty.

Each to their own I say.

With my first I didn't breast feed as I had no support. No one at the hospital was interested and I was handed a convenient bottle of formula as it was assumed that I either didn't want to or wouldn't be able to as I have huge boobs and inverted nipples (TMI?). Second time round I expressed for 12 weeks because we could not establish a latch. This time I have a friend who is a lactation consultant and at my request is on call should I need her when baby arrives in Nov as I want to give it another try.