Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Does not wanting to breast feed make me a terrible mother?

140 replies

swmum · 17/03/2008 12:56

The more I think about it the more I just don't want to do it. Baby due in a few weeks and the reality of what is involved in bf has really started to hit me.
Just really don't fancy it - the sore boobs, the constant reliance on me to feed and not dh, the feeding in public thing.
I know to a lot of people these are nothing - not things to concern myself with - but to me they are a real turn off.
I just want my body back to myself as soon as possible.
But I'm worried that makes me a bad, selfish mother. I know all the 'breast is best' stuff and all the stats on it. But I worry it is going to make me so unhappy to have do it.
Does/did anyone else feel this way? Any advice?
Maybe when he arrives I'll feel totally different, but I know myself and I don't see that happening.
Will I really be harming him or putting in place health issues for the future if I don't bf?
As you can tell I'm a bit stressed about this so any words of wisdome would be most welcome!

OP posts:
broguemum · 17/03/2008 17:40

swmum, I know how you feel as my feelings were v similar before DD was born. I was repelled by BF; I thought it was wierd, freaky and I wasn't going to do it. Then I found out a bit more about it, about the health benefits for the baby and the health benefits for me so I decided to do it for 3 wks as I thought I could tolerate no more. Then DD was born. She was v. poorly and I had a fabulous MW who encouraged and supported me getting BF established whilst DD was in intensive care. I ended up BF for 9 months !!! I enjoyed it, it went well (except the first few days) and despite her shaky start DD is a v. robust little girl.

Hope all goes well for you - let us know when babs is born. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

deaconblue · 17/03/2008 19:38

I was really anti-breastfeeding before I got pregnant with ds and saw it as a weird parasitic kind of thing and thought my friends were bonkers for wanting to do it. The closer I got to his birth I decided I would try a day or two and see how it went. Like you I felt it would be selfish to not give it a go. Turns out it was easy, felt as natural as anything and I happily breast fed him for six months. I think your attitude of trying it for just a day or so is a really positive start and shows that you are far from being a bad mother

frasersmummy · 17/03/2008 19:48

can I just pick up on your point re storing up health problems for later.

My aunt has 3 kids, 2 bottle fed and 1 breast fed. Very suprisingly its my breast fed cousin who is asthmatic.

Now I am not saying (before anyone yells at me ) anything against breast feeding I really am not (honest)

I am just trying to reassure you that bottle feeding doesnt necessarily cause health problems later

hope this helps

welliemum · 17/03/2008 20:15

swmum, I think your "try it and see" plan is good.

It is a weird thing to think about beforehand, I completely agree. But I found that once I was doing it, it felt normal. All you can do is see how you go.

gabygirl, I think you've made a very interesting point about "what's best for babies". Because you're right, the immune factors etc in breastmilk will benefit the baby no matter how unhappy the mother is. And I'd take it even further and say that babies are selfish little creatures and even if they could understand that bf was making their mother unhappy, they probably would still want it.

But that's an uncomfortable thing to say because as you point out it comes close to implying that we should "sacrifice" our own wellbeing for the baby's. Which is not a good way forward.

I think parenting is full of conflicts between the child's needs and the parents' needs, and you have to sort out these conflicts to suit your own family and circumstances. This is just one of many, but it's the first one most people encounter and it's quite a biggie, so it causes a lot of grief.

There's never going to be a simple right answer that fits everyone. And in my book, anyone who can think about this conflict openly and honestly right from the start is set to be a very good mother (that's you, OP! ).

tribpot · 17/03/2008 20:28

You definitely aren't a bad mother. But you may need to be realistic about what you think motherhood is all about - god knows, none of us had a bloody clue when we were pregnant either, so it's perfectly understandable that you think you can "get your body back to yourself". I'm not sure that ever really happens, whether you breastfeed or not. Your body comes back(ish!) but your heart and soul never do.

Without wishing to be alarmist, this change will alter you forever. In all sorts of ways you can't possibly imagine - none of us could. You can only take it one day at a time, same as the rest of us. So, as you say, why not give it a try and see what it's like - I desperately wanted to bf ds but it didn't work out and there it is. This is only one choice on the grand highway of parenthood - welcome to the world!

lackaDAISYcal · 17/03/2008 20:34

swmum, can I add to the "suck it and see" advice you've had here (no pun intgended, honest ).

I had an awful time trying to BF my DS nearly 6 years ago, mainly due to lack of support and help resolving our issues. when I was pregnant with my DD this time last year, I had a very pragmatic outlook on BFing. I would give it a fair old go (and I read up loads to prepare me for it better), but if it wasn't working, I'd have no qualms about switching her to formula. Thanks in no mild way to the support I had in RL, and from my PN thread buddies and the likes of tiktok, hunker and the hordes of women before me on the BFing threads, I'm still going strong at 9 mo.

Like others have said, it's not about feeding another human being, but feeding your baby, and once the initial problems are ironed out (you might be lucky and not have any), it is the most natural and easy, and, for me personally, empowering thing in the world.

Hang around the BF boards for a bit and don't hesitate to shout if you need any help. You'll get it by the barrowload on here

Good Luck

KerryMum · 17/03/2008 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hotcrossMonkeybun · 17/03/2008 20:38

can I also ask - how does your DP (assuming there is one) feel about BF? I think this can make a difference to some women, esp if they feel they have an uphill struggle with a bloke who doesn't get it or who finds it awkward.

harpsichordcarrier · 17/03/2008 20:40

swmum I think you are over-thinking it and over analysing it all, really and fwiw I think the best thing for now would be to stop thinking about it and just take a bit of a breather from the whole subject.
bf (like labour) is natural and instinctive behaviour, we are programmed to do it, unfortunately the way we live our lives in the 21st century has messed this up and it is often hard for us to follow our instincts or even recognise them
I would say, fwiw, you seem to have a very negative view of bf, which is not necessarily accurate or true or representative.
are you planning to take antenatal classes? they might be able to give you a more balanced view. or go along, in a few weeks time, to a "bumps and babies" session so you can see women and babies bf and see it might not be the gruelling horror you might anticipate.
I wonder (nosily) if you have had some bad previous experience of bf, and maybe talking that through or reflecting on it might help you to put it behind you?
alternatively you might just want to park the whole issue, buy formula and not ever think about it again. and that would be a perfectly valid choice too

expatinscotland · 17/03/2008 20:44

I was on the fence with it with DD2, especially after a disastrous first 5 days in hospital trying to establish BF with DD1 after a very long labour and forceps delivery - and not having heard of MN!

But I just gave it a try and really liked it.

DD2 was a good feeder, although we did need some help from an NCT counsellor about a week after she was born because she wasn't opening her mouth wide enough and I wasn't getting her onto the boob properly or quickly enough when she had her mouth open wide enough.

You do feel your body is yours again after the baby is born!

This time, my goal is to crack bf whilst lying down so I can feed baby in bed with me at night and not have to get up.

See how you feel after the baby arrives.

But you're not a bad mum!

A bad mum wouldn't care.

gabygirl · 17/03/2008 21:06

"But that's an uncomfortable thing to say because as you point out it comes close to implying that we should "sacrifice" our own wellbeing for the baby's. Which is not a good way forward."

No - I'm not saying we 'should' - I'm saying that it's something that we expect to do as a parent, in all sorts of ways.

And does that mean it's preferable the our babies should risk their well-being instead? Because not breastfeeding DOES mean your child has a suboptimal diet during a crucial period of growth and development.

"I think parenting is full of conflicts between the child's needs and the parents' needs, and you have to sort out these conflicts to suit your own family and circumstances."

Yes - I understand what you're saying here, and it's all very politically correct, but in my experience what it generally boils down to is this: the needs and the preferences of babies come last when it comes to decisions about feeding because a) they can't make their feelings known and b) breastfeeding and bottlefeeding are seen as roughly equivalent in this society in the sense that NOT breastfeeding is assumed to have no significant consequences for babies (witness how many comments you get on threads like this along the lines of fraser'smummy and another post which confidently states 'bottlefeeding won't do your baby any harm').

So here's something deeply politically INCORRECT:

If babies could talk....

Mum: The thing is darling, that I'd really prefer you to drink artificial milk because I hate the idea of having to breastfeed you in front of people. It's so tiring as well. Can't you see that it'd be better for me and for the whole family - you as well, if you bottlefeed instead.

Baby: But I've been told that if you bottlefeed me I'm five times more likely to get a serious stomach upset than if you breastfeed me. I don't like the idea of that. It worries me. And what about ear infections? Or chest infections? I don't want one of those. If you breastfeed me I'm less likely to be ill. Isn't that important to everyone in the family? I'm only tiny and I'm very vulnerable.

Mum: But I bottlefed your brother and he's alright.

Baby: Yes, he's fine. But that doesn't mean that I'll be does it? It makes me sad that you don't think reducing the risk of me being ill is important. And anyway, I want fresh food like you and dad. I don't want to eat a processed food that comes out of a tin for the first few months of my life.

Mum: OK - I know it tastes vile, but really - most babies gulp it down. They don't know any different. Or at least if they do they're not saying.

Baby: And anyway - I just want to breastfeed. I'm primed by nature to do it - it's instinctive baby behaviour. It's so much nicer drinking your lovely fresh milk, snuggled up against your chest then having to drink denatured, reconstituted cows milk from a plastic bottle. Aren't you supposed to want me to have the best of everything?

Mum: Look I'm sorry sweetheart but I just find breastfeeding really restricting. I've got to take your brother to school in the morning, which will be hard with you wanting to feed first thing, and I'd like a chance for an unbroken night once in a while. Your dad can take over the night feeds at the weekend if I bottlefeed you, so I can get an occasional lie in. I'll be nicer to you and everyone else if I'm not so tired....

Baby: But it's only for a few months, and then I'll be eating meals like everyone else. Can't you just put up with being tired for a bit? I've got to live in this body for the next 80 years or so. I'd really like to give it a chance to be as healthy as possible.

smallwhitecat · 17/03/2008 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PuppyMonkey · 17/03/2008 21:19

Gaby... . Here's a thread you will probably agree with. The OP I mean

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/495182?stamp=080317193028

GColdtimer · 17/03/2008 21:20

gabygirl, posts like yours make me so cross, I have to say. It really isn't as cut and dried as you make it out to be and there are a whole host of reasons why women "choose" not to bf.

And also, the OP had said "you are right, I will give it a go, thanks for the reassurance, etc, etc". I don't think she needed a lecture.

welliemum · 17/03/2008 21:22

Gabygirl, I see what you're saying, really I do, but you're on very thin ice if you're suggesting that women give up breastfeeding, as you present in your dialogue, calmly, rationally, and in a rather lighthearted way.

Even a fairly brief read of MN threads will show you people who are exhausted and at the limits of their sanity from trying to meet the impossible demands placed on them.

I'm as pro-breastfeeding as it's possible to be, but I would not tell someone like that that they're not trying hard enough.

Not because I want to be politically correct, but because I want to be humane.

kama · 17/03/2008 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

smallwhitecat · 17/03/2008 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VictorianPASqualor · 17/03/2008 21:36

Does what was such a wonderful inspiring and helpful thread need to turn into yet another BF/FF debate? I mean really.
Gabygirl, if you want to discuss that please do it elsewhere, this is about swmum and she was getting wonderful advice and support.
Please don't ruin it.

GColdtimer · 17/03/2008 21:41

completely agree VS.

KerryMum · 17/03/2008 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GColdtimer · 17/03/2008 21:45

kerrymum, the op's last post said:

"Thanks Franny - never thought about it that way till now! You've made me feel much better - you all have!"

Why not just leave it there.

Aitch · 17/03/2008 21:47

gabygirl your last post makes me want to call you terrible names that would get deleted. you don't know what you're talking about and i hope you have no role whatsoever in supporting women who are bfing/failing to bf/ffing.

Aitch · 17/03/2008 21:48

it's just that gabygirl's opinion is based on the utterly false premise that women who don't bf do so cos they can't be arsed getting their tits out, kerrymum...

welliemum · 17/03/2008 21:59

I think, actually VS, that this isn't a FF vs BF debate strictly speaking, and is quite relevant to the OP's question even if not really "in the spirit" of it.

I'm happy to debate this on a separate thread, though. I think it's important.

taipo · 17/03/2008 22:00

First time on one of these threads as my own b/f days are now ancient history I think I understand when you say the idea of it freaks you out because I also now found it slightly weird to think of myself breastfeeding even though at the time it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. I was and still am pro breastfeeding but if I now look at dc and their friends there is no way I could tell which ones were breastfed.

I think CoteDazur is spot on in her post. Motherhood is about so much more than whether or not you breastfeed.

Good luck whatever you decide - and it is your decision.