Carmen,
Re: "Oh and i completely and utterly disagree that bf ers give up because of little support. Many bf ers give up becuse they are not committed enough."
You can ask for support in the hospital where you deliver. But what if you're told - as I was - "some babies never latch on, would it really destroy you to give him a bottle?"
If you manage to get past this shoddy advice and still be "committed to bfing" then you could ask your community midwife. But what if you're told - as I was - "his latch is fine, but there's not enough milk in your breasts, you need to give him a bottle of formula so you can get some sleep and allow your breasts to fill up".
If you are "committed to bfing" enough to ignore that advice, then you could attend your local bf support group.
But if you've read BabiesEverywhere's threads about her local group, you might get told "your milk's dried up, give formula". Or at the bf support group at my local SureStart, "his latch is fine, he's not sucking properly because he's not hungry".
If you're "committed to bfing" enough to ignore that, then you could ask your Health Visitor.
But you only need to take a look at half a dozen threads on here (try my "slow weight gain support thread" for starters) you will see that the advice given there is often detrimental to bfing.
If you're "committed to bfing" enough to ignore that, then there's friends and family.
With comments like:
"You're just being stubborn. Give him a bottle, at least once a day can't hurt."
"You should put him on a bottle and give him to me while you get back to work."
"You're ignoring the housework because you sit round bfing that baby all day when he's blatently not hungry and you're just shoving a boob in his face."
If you're "committed to bfing" enough to ignore that, then you can just cross your fingers tightly that - as in my case - you chance upon a woman at Mums & Tots who knows of a really good bf support group where you finally, after ten weeks, get help.
You can cross your fingers that the already put-upon midwife (the only bf-expert mw in the entire hospital, who works pt) who runs the group isn't on holiday when you go.
You can thank your lucky stars that you have enough income to be able to afford the internet, so you can go on MN and get virtual support and links to telephone support to be able to ignore all the "support" you've got so far, from hospital, mw's, bf "support" groups, HVs and friends & family.
You can be grateful that you're lucky enough to have had an education that enables you to have a sufficient reading ability to understand what's written on the internet and in the book you bought off the internet that you were lucky enough to be able to afford. (Not as silly as it sounds - in my area average reading age is 12.)
So, to sum up. To be "committed to bfing" you need to be incredibly lucky. Oh yes, and ridiculously stubborn. Stubborn enough to ignore everyone - friends, family, health care professionals, bf supporters... You need to be able to filter out bad advice and lucky enough to be able to understand that it is bad advice...
So many women give up because they're not that committed do they? Well why the hell should women have to be that committed?
Sorry, that was a very long post but I just hate hearing that women aren't committed enough to breastfeed. It is posts like that rather than stuff about SMA not being used as a prop in a soap, that are designed to make so-called "failed" bfers feel guilty.