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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Would I really regret giving up BF now?

148 replies

sparklygothkat · 10/12/2007 00:43

As many of you know, I had my DS2 prematurely at 33 weeks, 11 weeks ago. I have been breastfeeding and topping up with EBM via a NGT tube. Callum is struggling with his weight gain and doesn't put on a huge amount weekly. Today has been so hard, I have struggled to express enough milk off for his topups. I am tired and physically shattered. I feel tearful. I so want to do the right thing, and keep breastfeeding but I don't know how much more I can take.

OP posts:
farfaraway · 11/12/2007 22:39

Have to join in with this. You have done so well SGK getting this far with expressing and feeding your preterm DS. I was in a similar but not identical situation and I have ended up down the formual road but like you cried and agonised in the beginning as I had fed (and plaited their hair) my other two dd's and it felt like I was letting dd3 down - the one who I felt needed it so much.

A friend said to me you give your children different gifts. Remind yourselves of the gifts you will give your ds over his whole childhood - your time, attention, love, hobbies, food, language, etc the list is endless and different for each child. And remember breastfeeding is only a very small part of your child's life and it would be a shame to make yourself so miserable you can not enjoy and look back on this time with joy. Even if it is not the the kind of joy you had planned.

moondog · 11/12/2007 22:40

Make sure you do.
I will be checking up on you and giving you a nasty Moony bollocking if you don't.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:45

ok mummy moondog ;)

Farfar, thank you, you made me realise whats important I know he needs BM and I will continue with that (he just had a BF) but although I know that BM is the best thing for him, I also know that he needs to gain weight.

OP posts:
fishie · 11/12/2007 22:47

take heart, we are all here to help you.

MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 22:52

Lovely post farfar

SleighlyMadSanta · 11/12/2007 22:58

SGK, I have been following this - but havn't had any advice until now. Regard the following as information rather than advice...do with it what you will/can.

When DTDs were in SCBU they used 2 different fortifiers. I can't remember teh name of the first but the 2nd was called DUOCAL. It is something which is available to buy as it is used by bodybuilders I think. If you google it you can get it for £20 a tin but seems to come from the US. I can't remember how much to use etc. but it might be something you could ask SCBU nure/HV to help you to look into???

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 23:03

SMS I just did a search and it says its not suitable for babies under 1. I am going to ask on the Special needs group I am on, because I am sure that some of the kids will be on fortifiers.

OP posts:
MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 23:04

dd had maxijul and calogen at 4 months.

SleighlyMadSanta · 11/12/2007 23:04

Fair enough, maybe the guidelines have changed. It was deffo what they had 6yrs ago though.

MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 23:09

I'm pretty sure they do give it to under ones SMS.

SleighlyMadSanta · 11/12/2007 23:11

Thats probably under medical supervision - BUT with the support of SCBU nurse/HV/Dr Sparkly may be able to buy DUCAL or something else out of her own pocket to help

chipmonkey · 11/12/2007 23:22

Sparkly, you really have done very, very well so far and I do think that the SCBU nurse is talking rubbish when she says not to feed at night, how are you supposed to keep up your supply without feeding at night? If it's any help, ds3 did have bottles of EBM in SCBU as I wasn't there for most of the feeds and it didn't cause any trouble with latch whatsoever. Those formulas for prem babies are very high in calories and I think mixing that with the EBM is a good idea if you can't get fortifier. Don't be so hard on yourself, these are not the usual circumstances most new mums find themselves in and Callum is very lucky to have had so much lovely breast milk.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 12/12/2007 08:45

thanks everyone, ov. i did feed over night, 3 times, am tired now, but its worth it.

OP posts:
moondog · 12/12/2007 09:21

Chin up

AND PHONE THE ABM WOMAN!!!

Mincepiedermama · 12/12/2007 09:22

God well done SGK. What a long haul this is for you.

gingerbreadgirl · 12/12/2007 09:28

just wanted to say welldone sgk
you are an amazing woman
i know you must be really tired but keep going for as long as you can,
could one of the mother mums plait your dd's hair for you if your dh can't and thn you could sleep

AwayInAMunker · 12/12/2007 09:29

You're doing SO well, SGK!

Is this the same SCBU nurse who's heard from you how shit she made you feel about bfing?

And did she give any reason why you shouldn't be bfing at night?

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 12/12/2007 09:53

yes same nurse, not sure why she said to not BF at night. It isn't going to happen anyway. The formula will be used in the topups during the day, and I told her that too.

OP posts:
AwayInAMunker · 12/12/2007 10:37

She's got a real downer on bf, hasn't she?! Silly woman.

Piffle · 12/12/2007 11:21

what a load of horsehite
dd has had them all her life, never ever been an inpatient
folks are talking through holes in arses
keep demanding to speak to someones senior
I was told if I would not or did not want to use formula to top up dd, then would I consider calorie supps. I agreed, they made shag all difference as we later found out dd had a genetic condition which kept her low weight, BUT the dietitian was immediately suportive of breastfeeding and said the supps were the first thing to try, if extra cals made no diff then switchign to formula would not in all likelihood

Piffle · 12/12/2007 11:21

also meant to say you're doing bloody amazingly well, it will get easier!

Piffle · 12/12/2007 11:22

yeah maxijoule and duocal were what we were given

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 12/12/2007 12:36

strange thing is she bf her children??!!

OP posts:
stockingfiller · 12/12/2007 13:01

could you give him good breastfeed then offer the formula? i didnt have enough milk to feed dd and gave up for one reason or the other and i regretted it!
when i did start formula i bf then offered her formula (dp did i couldnt cried all over her whilst giving her that stuff and it was my choice i wasnt being told i had too)
she would drink 60ml after bf so it was clear my milk wasnt up to scratch!
you have done such a fab job bf him even when it could have been near impossible, and with lack of support from so called professionals! you have already bf a lot longer than most ppl would!

moondog · 12/12/2007 13:24

Stocking filler, don't ever say your milk wasn't up tpo scratch.
Breastmilk is perfect for a baby and tailormade for your baby in particular.No formula could ever come close to that. Ever!

Babies 'gulp down' formula because it is easeir to get at it throguh a teat.B/fed babies have to work a bit harder but the harder they work the more milk is produced.

Sparkly, have you rung that woman yet? I am checking up on you in my lunchhour.