Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Would I really regret giving up BF now?

148 replies

sparklygothkat · 10/12/2007 00:43

As many of you know, I had my DS2 prematurely at 33 weeks, 11 weeks ago. I have been breastfeeding and topping up with EBM via a NGT tube. Callum is struggling with his weight gain and doesn't put on a huge amount weekly. Today has been so hard, I have struggled to express enough milk off for his topups. I am tired and physically shattered. I feel tearful. I so want to do the right thing, and keep breastfeeding but I don't know how much more I can take.

OP posts:
Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:49

we pulled the tube, as he does take the bottle (very well too) so its not needed now. He hasn't been sick while its been out and he is having lots of milk, via BF and the bottle afterwards.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 11/12/2007 21:51

Sorry if this is a really stupid question or has been answered further down the thread, but why can't you have ebm from the milk bank to top up? As some one who once donated to a milk bank, a case such as this is exactly where I thought my milk was going!

Unfortunately I don't still lactate, but if I did, you could have some of mine.

HonoriaGlossop · 11/12/2007 21:53

sparkly, personally I think you've got it just right. You are so committed to BF that you won't allow yourself to give so much formula that your supply dwindles enough to make BF impossible; but as you say in your post above, you are totally putting your baby first and not running away from an issue that is hard for you.

I think you are doing the right thing and giving him every chance to put on that weight.

I definitely think you should get as many opinions and views as possible, I know you are busy but I think on MN the views simply are harder line than in general life. There is much fantastic advice clearly but I think you need a balance of views from a variety of people and places.

In RL I know some exclusive BFers, some mixed feeders and some formula feeders but for NONE of these people are feelings and views so 'heightened' as they are on here.

Good luck. Callum must be a lucky boy, you are so committed to his holistic welfare.

MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 21:55

Well no vomit is a positive at least -hopefully you can dump the formula once he's on a roll with the weight gain.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:55

I use my own EBM to topup with, but Callum still isn't gaining enough, he needs more calories. And there isn't a milk bank near me anyway, I looked into donating my milk when Callum was in SCBU as I had so much, which is a shame really.

OP posts:
moondog · 11/12/2007 21:55

What are you trying to say Honoria?
That SGK needs permission to formula feed?
She seems to have got it from the HCPs she is surrounded by.

Elasticwoman · 11/12/2007 21:59

Honoria, I've known quite a few new mums in my time too and I've found people just as concerned about feeding in RL as on here.

HonoriaGlossop · 11/12/2007 21:59

Hi moondog. I said what I said in a supportive way. I remember feeling vulnerable and exhausted and for me, when someone said I was doing things right, that meant so much to me. It's good to hear that from others I think. And by that I don't mean others haven't been supportive either, just that this is clearly a hard choice - she clearly has had alot of support with the BFing on here and I thought it was possible she may have felt a sense of failure in admitting to the formula.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:03

thats true, I do feel like I have failed myself and Callum. I have had so much support on here over the last 11 weeks, and I am very grateful, and now it feels that I have let everyone down that tried to help. But I know I have to do this, for Callum and myself. It is so tiring, and heartbreaking when he doesn't gain weight. He is still tiny and needs to gain weight.

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 11/12/2007 22:05

That's exactly my point sparkly, that you have taken the hardest decision and have so NOT failed him, or yourself, quite the opposite.

MerryLittleCarrotmas · 11/12/2007 22:05

SGK

Does the nurse believe the formula has more calories than your EBM?

MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 22:06

No-ones been let down sparkly, least of all Callum. Don't feel like that .

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:08

unforturely I have compared the calorie content of BM and the nasty formula, and yes it does contain more, its a special one from the chemist that you can't buy, its like a medience (sp?)

OP posts:
moondog · 11/12/2007 22:08

Have you been told categorically that the formula has more calories than b/milk?
What brand is it?
The ABM woman should be able to verify (or dispute) what they are telling you.

moondog · 11/12/2007 22:08

Oh ok....

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:10

at MD's X-post. I looked into it when we were first given it, and its a very high calorie formula.

OP posts:
MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 22:11

Infatrini is a fortified formula - I'm still annoyed for you about the BM fortifier sparkly. When you have the energy it's something that needs sorting out with SCBU. I just don't understand their thinking on it.

moondog · 11/12/2007 22:13

Maybe ABM could access fortifiers for you via a sympathetic GP?

fishie · 11/12/2007 22:14

ok so it is a step forward to lose the feeding tube. and maybe a half step back to start with the formula.

but skg you know well enough not to listen to this nitwit who tells you not to feed at night.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:18

SCBU nurse said last week that the consultant had been at a conferce (sp?) and the fortifers will be avalible next summer for babies at home, bit late for us, but a step in the right direction.

OP posts:
Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:19

i know fishie, I will not listen to that one!

OP posts:
Piffle · 11/12/2007 22:30

what about supplements such as maxijoule SGK?
DD was low weight gain and I fully bf her she took 5 wks to regain birthweight and put on 1 -2oz per week for her first few mths
Was under massive pressure to FF her but refused, had nothing like the demands on me that you do though love
Do ask about getting a powder to mix with the EBM via a dietitian, you really should be getting mroe bloody support to keep bfing if you want to.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:35

I have asked the dietitian and she said the same as the SCBU nurse, you can only get them if your baby is an in-patient.

OP posts:
moondog · 11/12/2007 22:36

That's fucking ridiculous.
Demand to be admitted then?
Or (as I keep on saying) the ABm folk can be advocates for you and fight on your behalf.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 22:38

I will phone her tomorrow and ask her if she can help us get the fortifiers.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread