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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Would I really regret giving up BF now?

148 replies

sparklygothkat · 10/12/2007 00:43

As many of you know, I had my DS2 prematurely at 33 weeks, 11 weeks ago. I have been breastfeeding and topping up with EBM via a NGT tube. Callum is struggling with his weight gain and doesn't put on a huge amount weekly. Today has been so hard, I have struggled to express enough milk off for his topups. I am tired and physically shattered. I feel tearful. I so want to do the right thing, and keep breastfeeding but I don't know how much more I can take.

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MommalovesHerSpanglyXmasName · 10/12/2007 22:22

This reply has been deleted

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VVVExcitedAboutChristmasQV · 10/12/2007 22:25

I am

I am also deadly serious..........

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 10/12/2007 22:31

i normally have nap between 9-3. i didn't today as had lunch with my cousin and his gf. so will be going to bed as soon as callum settles.

sorry for lack of caps. am topping up callum...

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Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 08:44

well, the formula has made callum very windy so will not be trying that again. this morning when struggling to put dd1's hair up, i said to dh that he should try it and see how hard it is, he then said he will talk to our friend at the school whose a hairdresser, and get it cut!!!!!!!!!

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FairyTaleOfNewYork · 11/12/2007 13:19

SCBU nurse has just been to seen SGK. she wants SGK to use the formukla at night and not breastfeed. well, you can imagine what we have said after SCBU nurse has left. that is not going to happen, so she will top up with 120ml of infantri formula during the day. he has gained 8oz in 4 days and that includes 1 day of formula top ups, we just want him to get a bit fatter, get rid of the tube and get SCBU nurse of their back for a bit. obviously the worry is, if he gains with the formula and then loses weight again, then there may be a bigger issue here.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 16:48

sob, he just had his first topup via a bottle.. I breastfeed first and because I didn't know how he would take to the bottle, I gave him just EBM. He guzzled it down... I feel like a failure, buit know we have to do this...

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tiktok · 11/12/2007 17:29

SGC, hang on in there.

I don't understand why the nurse wanted no breastfeeding at night....is that really what she said? This is extraordinary. Does she not want you to breastfeed, do you think? or does she not know that going all night without 'using' your breasts will make your supply dwindle? And if she does know what, what is she thinking about with a baby whose weight is causing concern?

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 17:32

thats what I said to her.. I am still going to BF at night, but make sure he has the 120mls of formula needed during the day rather than at night..

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NAB3littlemonkeys · 11/12/2007 17:37

Only read OP.

BIG congratulations for lasting as long as you have after everything that has happened.

All I can say is I had wobbles with all my children as to when to give up and with the last one I did until 9 months and I wish now, I had done longer, as I really miss it. I stopped at 6 months with the other 2.

However, he is now 2.5 and it makes no odds whether I did until 9 months or 12.

If you are asking, then imo, that means you aren't ready to stop yet.

HTH a little and well done again.

5goldrings4MONKEYBIRDs · 11/12/2007 17:45

OK, I'm no expert but have been following your posts for a while - is this the same SCBU arse nurse who got various measurements wrong last time?

I'm sure the weight gain must be a worry and I have no suggestions on that (bar the obv question of whether you can buy/afford fortifiers to add to EBM if they won't prescribe? Maybe MN BFers can raise funds for them if you're strapped?) and it sounds like you're having a crap time with LOADS on your plate. But I bet there's another solution from someone really expert in BF and SC babies? Keep on keeping on a few days longer - we're all rooting for you - and things will be different?

NAB3littlemonkeys · 11/12/2007 18:12

Mine fed every 2 hours and I know how tiring that was, without other children to look after.

Make sure you eat, drink and rest every spare moment you can (hard, I know)

Your DD's hair, could it not go in a pony tail? Seems one extra thing you could do without.

Hope you get this sorted out, you have done so well.

moondog · 11/12/2007 18:18

Jesus,I'm just absolutely fucking staggered that this SCBU woman has recommended you don't feed at night.
What the fuck was her rationale for this? Did you challenge her?

It is a crime that people like this are employed to work with babies who doubtless need breastmilk more than any others.

hoppybird · 11/12/2007 18:36

Sparkly, you're an absolute star being able to express so much, especially with other LO's to look after. I really admire anyone who can express loads as the very most I could only manage 90mls.

I'm rather a SCBU nurse would recommend you give formula at night instead of bf - isn't it a well known fact that bf is espcecially beneficial for premature babies?

Also (and I'm saying this as a non-expert), didn't Callum have a cold the other week when he put on a more modest amount of weight? Looking back at my graphs for my prem ds, I can see that one of the smallest weekly gains is annotated with 'RTI' (resp. tract infection), ie. when he had a cold, he put on less weight. Isn't it as simple as that?

Keep strong, keep well, keep as rested as you can under the circumstance, and good luck. You're such an inspiration.

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 19:42

he just had this first formula bottle feed, he gulped it down and seemed to want more, maybe my milk isn't enough..

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moondog · 11/12/2007 19:43

Sparkly,this is mad talk.
You know this isn't true.
Why did the nurse want you to give formula at night?

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 19:47

to make sure he is getting it, I guess. I have refused to stop feeding at night, because I know that I have to feed at night to keep my supply up. I think he needs more than I can give him. and until he is strong enough to stop the topups I have to do this. We have removed the tube though.

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Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 20:15

i felt terrible earlier, looking at him while giving him formula in a bottle... it was horrible..

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moondog · 11/12/2007 21:29

Well don't give it then my love!

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:34

I have to! I can't run away from it, he isn't gaining enough weight, he has dropped off the charts again, I can't allow myself to be selfish. He is just 2lb more than his birth weight and 11 weeks old. I am not giving up BF I will continue with that, I am determined to keep doing that. But for my sanity and wellbeing, I have to do this.

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Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:36

to being expressing, Breastfeeding, and topping up all day, every day, and then seeing no results for all that effort, its heartbreaking and really brings you down.

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moondog · 11/12/2007 21:37

Yes I know Sparkly.
So sorry you are in a bad place right now.
Have yo recontacted the ABm woman to see what she has to say?

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:40

not yet, my girls are playing up every evening atm (god knows whats got into them ) and she works during the day.

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moondog · 11/12/2007 21:41

They are probably a bit freaked out with the new babe (perfectly natural).
Tell your dh to keep them under control and go and speak with her.

You owe it to Callum to explore every avenue and not just take the advice of people who don't really know much about b/feeding at face value.

MrsGrinch · 11/12/2007 21:46

Girls are over excited about Chrimbo sparkly.

Please don't beat yourself up about the formula - you do what you have to do - the weight gain thing gets all-consuming. How come you pulled the tube and is Callum's reflux a bit better now it's out?

Original poster
sparklygothkat · 11/12/2007 21:47

I can't get fortifiers for the EBM, I have asked SCBU nurse, HV, BF HV and the dietitian, we can not get them, and other than them, its formula only. I hope it will only be for a short while, I even said to the SCBU nurse that I will do it for a week at a time, when he gets big I am stopping it. I am not letting him stay on it. I will phone the ABM tomorrow evening as its nearly 10pm and thats when she finishes on the phones.

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