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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

757 replies

TwigorTreat · 27/10/2007 18:46

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

OP posts:
berolina · 27/10/2007 21:00

I mean some people can view bf as misappropriation, not that I view it as such!

TheWickerCam · 27/10/2007 21:00

IME children tend to tell each other everything

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 21:00

Oh yes, bedtime feeds were lovely. My favourite were the feeds first thing in the morning. DS would come into our bedroom, all bleary-eyed and climb into bed next to me. All warm and cosy and sleepy.

He'd snuggle in under my armpit and it was such a lovely 5 or 10 minutes cuddle whilst he fed. I do miss that. He self-weaned about 3 months ago now and I dont feel strange about it, time having passed.

policywonk · 27/10/2007 21:01

Link bero! I must see the Hooter Hiders

berolina · 27/10/2007 21:01

hang on, must search...

berolina · 27/10/2007 21:03

hooter hiders

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2007 21:04

I agree policy. I think there is an element of that.

beautifuldays · 27/10/2007 21:04

those things are odd! why why why?

francagoestohollywood · 27/10/2007 21:05

ffs!

policywonk · 27/10/2007 21:07

PMSL. Baby burkhas. Surely if you wore one of those, you'd have people coming up to you saying 'Don't want to worry you love, but there's something rustling about under your apron'.

Tipex · 27/10/2007 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWickerCam · 27/10/2007 21:12

I'm certainly having a visceral reaction to the hooter hiders

They also have matching burp cloths

Tipex · 27/10/2007 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whomovedmychocolate · 27/10/2007 21:16

Never mind how you feel about extended bfing - Those hooter hiders are CREEPY!

I'm an extended breastfeeder. I expect my DD will wean when she feels like it and probably before she's two to be honest, she's already not as keen as she was. But it really is no business of anyone elses.

I don't force my mooncup on you, don't force your narrow minded opinions of how I feed my child on me.

berolina · 27/10/2007 21:17

They're like a big 'CENSORED' sign with a pretty pattern, aren't they? Making the mother pleasing to the eye and cutting out the offensive breast misappropriation.

hercules1 · 27/10/2007 21:17

I find it odd the thought of feeding a four year old or 3 year old but I did feed both mine till these ages and it certainly wasnt strange at the time.Sorry, but those people who find it to be like abuse and creepy are even odder!

policywonk · 27/10/2007 21:20

The patterns are nice aren't they! Wouldn't mind a nice smock in one of those prints. Just so long as it was stretchy enough to enable me to whip my tits out at the drop of a hat, obviously.

Poor Twig, her thread has turned into a LLL meeting. On MN! How did that happen?!

notnowbernard · 27/10/2007 21:20

This has got me thinking about the link between how you feed/how you were fed

(Sorry if the thread has moved on, but I paused to eat my curry)

I was bf for a few weeks... my db wasn't bf at all. I've fed both my dds (dd2 still at 14m).

I can't ever remember anyone in my family (close or extended) bf'ing.

I know my mum thinks it's 'weird' to bf beyond weaning (solids), though she's not actually said this to me. Instead she says thingds like "She can't be getting much, can she?", or "Do you need to carry on? You've given her a good start, haven't you?" Or, my favourite "Now she's 1 she can have real milk, can't she?" (I did chuckle at this, as there really was no malice intended!)

I guess to my Mum she equates milk (breast or formula) as sustenance only. She doesn't 'get' the whole emotional side of it, or that it is in fact a complex thing!

What is lovely, though, is that she's never made me feel uncomfortable about it. It's eeven made her mention how she would have liked to have more success feeding her dcs

Tipex · 27/10/2007 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hercules1 · 27/10/2007 21:23

I wasnt breastfed and my mum had a similar reaction to yours. Dh was fed until he was 41/2 and his mum found it harder that I fed for nearly this long as she felt it wasn't particularly modern or fashionable!

Bocoreepy · 27/10/2007 21:24

I'm an extended bfer - i'd like to keep feeding till my dd self weans. She's 2 and 9 months. I stopped feeding her in public when she was about 18 months because i actually find that 'sense of distaste' Twig mentions, quite hard to be confronted with.

I've found bfing wonderful and has had so so many benefits for both of us - the absolutely ONLY problem i've found is how other people see it. I've had some really hurtful comments and very nearly stopped altogether in March because i felt like maybe other people were right and i was doing something freaky.

Luckily i got past that and have carried on - but i don't tell my friends or family now - and that makes me sad. I do find the 'creepy/ abuse/ distasteful' stuff hurtful actually. I do. Because it's just none of those things, it's right for us and we're not freaks.

hercules1 · 27/10/2007 21:26

Agree about stopping feeding in public due to other peoples disgust. Sad really as if it was seen more often then perhaps there wouldnt be so much disgust.

Bocoreepy · 27/10/2007 21:26

Yes, and i wish i hadn't posted that with my halloween name.

Doodledootoo · 27/10/2007 21:27

Message withdrawn

JacOLantanne · 27/10/2007 21:29

I'd like to address the point that somebody made about BF older toddlers being a form of "holding them back"; my BF children are the most confident, happy little people you could wish to meet - I certainly don't feel that I've held them back in anyway. I also don't see myself as a slave to their needs. DD2 is still BF and she's nearly 3 - she doesn't lift my top up and will quite happily be put off in public. Yes we went through a phase of top pulling etc but I taught her that I wouldn't accept that and now she doesn't do it.

Some of our closest feeds are at about 7.00am, it's just the 2 of us and it's warm and cuddly and basically all about love. Nothing disgusting about that. I do feel quite passionate about our BF relationship - it's part of the way that I mother my child -I don't think that makes me neurotic or disgusting.

Though I don't feed her in some places because I don't like people's reactions I really admire Mums that do it where ever they want - good for them.