So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

[TwigorTreat]

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

its entirely possible. my mil persuaded sil to ff on the basis that she would have more freedom.

I don't feel the sexualisation of breasts issue myself so that isn't, if I examine my own prejudices, the reason for me.

I don't agree with the not talking through prejudices .. and I find the whole 'its the same as being negative about homosexuality' incredibly weak as an argument. Extended breastfeeding through to childhood (ie beyond toddlerhood) is very much a lifestyle choice IMHO.

I think some of the descriptions of breastfeeding children have been rather heartwarming and lovely if I'm honest.

But it remains as different strokes for different folks for me although perhaps the 'visceral reaction' is somewhat diminished in me. Which is one good thing. Hippy on dudes

i'm no hippy, heh heh

Harpsi - I see where you are coming from too and am at the official answer to your gcse question.

TBH though, if we are talking of the social circles we mix in, it is very much the norm where I live (north east of England)coming from a working class background but with professional qualifications to try to breast feed for a few weeks and then formula feed from there on in. So Harpsi, your 'norm' that you quoted is pretty 'normal' round here.

As an aside, I have just been to the doctors with ds2. He has croup and the doctor said not to worry about getting food into him just to keep him hydrated. I said that he stil has breast feeds and I would feed him if he asked and she said (very matronly, close to retirement female lady) 'Perfect'!

I also agree with the pressure on women to 'get back to normal' in modern culture.

Had a chuckle to myself about your comment about lifestyle choice, Twig. I am probably as far from the hippy, lentil-weavery image as you can get. Well, not as far as you can get, but pretty far down the continuum

Just re-read the thread title and wanted to add.

Can't imagine feeding my 5 year old ds1 because I don't breast feed him, but I can half imagine feeding ds2 as he gets older, as I am breastfeeding him now. Does that make any sense?

I think many people feel funny about bf past the point of memory iyswim. I would not feed by ds (2.5) mainly because i think he would find it odd remembering it.
I suppose what i am tyring to say is that many people attitude to extended breast feeding is not about the sexualisation of breasts or the idea that a walking talking child shouldn't feed. its much more complicated that than

Can I ask why them remembering would make a difference? DS2 is 3 in March.

My dd remembers bf very clearly. She likes the fact that she can remember it.

She also remembers having a try when ds came along bout not being able to get anything!

rationally i don't think it would but I do have problems with the idea of my son as an adult remembering the experience of breastfeeding.

Thats really interesting so to them its just part of a whole host of baby/child things that they don't do any more?

i also think that shows like little britain have done nothing for ebf in todays society.

I hope ds will remember breastfeeding. He should be able to as he was nearly 4 when he stopped. I was told a story once about a doctor from India (his colleague told the story) who remembered playing in a football match, running off the pitch to have a quick breastfeed, then running back on to finish the game He guessed he was about 7.

f** ebf have done nothing to help bf full stop. I sometimes got "bitty" comments when i fed my son at 6 mths!

I was still bf my ds after he started school. But he did start at just 4 and I never did it on the school grounds. He was feeding occasionally by that stage, usually in bed but I do remember once offering him the breast when we were out on a country walk and he had fallen over and hurt himself. He was v glad to accept and I didn't care whether any one might be offended by it. In the circs, comforting ds was the most important thing and a bf took his mind off it quicker than a cuddle would. He stopped bf-ing in his own time, can't remember exactly when but I am glad I never had to say No when he wanted a bf. Although sometimes, around the toddler stage, I said Later.

Tori, Twig etc I accept that you may not like the thought or sight of an older child bf, but that's your problem. I personally squirm a bit when I see a child of any age fed from a bottle, but that's my problem. I know it has to happen so i wouldn't dream of asking any parent not to do it in front of me.

If I'm totally honest I find the idea of other people performing certain sexual practices a little worrysome. Which probably makes me a freak and a prude. Is that how you feel about extended bfing?

And before I had my children I felt as you do twig. I don't now. Because I did it. I was the one with a 2yr old (3 and 4yr old actually) asking for a feed.

And yes I too hate the Little Britain thing. Vile! DS#2 was about 2 then and it took only one bf at my MILs house for my SIL to say 'bitty' to me

I think it might be partly to do with snobbery and partly to do with people finding it distasteful to see obvious signs of dependency and apparent 'babyishness' in older children. I think that is where a lot of our pressure to wean, toilet train, stop thumb sucking, etc comes from. We don't really feel comfortable with these obvious reminders that children are still very needy.

Little Britain, I agree, has done a lot of damage to breast feeding in general.

I don't have a problem with ebf infact i fed my son till he self weened at 22 months and I would of fed him for much longer.
BF a 5 year old is fine with me however bf a teenager is not but I'm not sure where the cut of is when I would feel uneasy about it.
Prior to my bf experience I thought ebf was weird

The next, possibly impossible question, is what can be done to change things. There are multiple levels in this though.....

awh man. Ds2 is driving me mad pointing to all the lettters on the bloody keyboard and saying which family member has that letter for their name. Apologies for my worse than usual typing

;)