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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

757 replies

TwigorTreat · 27/10/2007 18:46

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 28/10/2007 21:34

OP - thanks for your honesty. We are not used to seeing toddlers breastfeed, let alone 4 or 5 year olds and there is a strong emphasis in our culture of breasts as sexual signals. And yet breastmilk does them nothing but good. Some people, esp journalists of the Glenda Slagg variety, think that breastfeeding a child past babyhood is going to produce a spoilt, clingy brat, but I have found that extended breastfeeding gave mine more confidence and was a calming influence. Also, the older they got, the less frequent were the feeds. By the time ds was weaned from the breast his feeds were so rare and sporadic I couldn't tell you when the last one was. In the end it was just a comfort after a bad dream or falling over.

Panyanpickle77 · 28/10/2007 21:42

I am currently feeding my 2.2 yr old ds (as I type....he is poorly). I have little interest in what anyone else thinks of it, to me it is as natural as breathing. I do not feed him in front of "strangers" and do not try to embarrass other by showing off my mahoosive breast (unless I inadvertantly forget my bra, then all can see them hanging below my hemline lol). My point is this.......I appreciate your opinion. You do not like the "idea" of breast feeding a toddler, but somtimes empathy is not easy to come by. I am not offended by your thoughts, but they do not have enough influence on me to make me shy away from supplying my ds with the most fantastic gift I can give him. Instincs are hard to come by, but I have followed mine, and this is where they have lead me. Lucky DS

charliegal · 28/10/2007 21:46

Good for you, Mrsaek. I have been inspired and heartened over the last year by all the regular bf posters. Extended bfing was declared 'disgusting' at a party I was at yesterday, when it was discovered that I was still bfing. One man said 'i think it's time you cut the cord'. My baby is 11 months old.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 21:48

I could post something very crude, CG, but I shan't.

charliegal · 28/10/2007 21:50

When I got home, my dp said 'did you tell them about the WHO guidelines'? Do you know, they just slipped right out of my head.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 21:52

I loathe the way randoms think they can comment so negatively and disrespectfully about something so deeply personal.

It's about having manners, surely? I mean, do you say to somebody with a big wart "wow, that's a powerful big wart, it makes you look really ugly, you know"?

MeltingandScreamingIcarus · 28/10/2007 21:53

Berolina I can't find it. Do you have adventures in tandem nursing because if not I can lend it to you.

mail if you want it or want to compare tandem experiences mama attached @yahoo co uk
minus spaces obv.

charliegal · 28/10/2007 21:58

lol at 'randoms'. you are right, confidence can be a fragile thing. it's horrible to have those negative comments in your mind when you are enjoying giving your baby what he needs.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 21:59

Yes, CG, that's exactly it. I don't want the words of morons getting in the way of the way I feel about feeding my baby (or doing anything with my baby, for that matter).

FluffyMummy123 · 28/10/2007 22:01

Message withdrawn

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 22:03

Much like...

Yes, Cod, that's right.

FluffyMummy123 · 28/10/2007 22:04

Message withdrawn

MeltingandScreamingIcarus · 28/10/2007 22:06

I am just wondering if 2 has always been your cut off or has it gone up in the last few years?

Possibly by mn and people discussing bf over 1 year?

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 22:06

Do I?

I don't see why you feel the need to proclaim so often about things that don't concern you at all.

It shouldn't matter to you (or anyone) how I or anyone else feeds their baby, as long as mother and child are happy about it.

Yet it does. And you do feel the need to always pop up on these threads and go "fraek" or something utterly irrelevant.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/10/2007 22:06

No, you'd say "Hemole, Mr Moley".

nappies DS was 2.5 mths I think - it was a gradual thing and stopped completely about 2 months ago. There was no official cut off date.

I recall a locum GP saying to me once, when prescribing long term low dose antibiotics:

I'd asked if it was okay to take whilst b/feeding. He looked at me, looked at DS, looked back at me and said "But he's over 1 year old?" To which I replied, "yes, he is. He's 18 months old". The GP said "But you dont need to feed him past 1 year." At which point I told him that the WHO recommendations suggest otherwise. He re-iterated that he thought it was one year, and I continued to point him in the direction of relevant research.

Now, that was me, someone armed with plenty of facts (thanks to MN). Imagine how that would have made another woman who didnt know she had worldwide support?

I find this notion of "necessity" in a society that thrives on excess quite interesting.

How many of those who dont deem b/feeding "necessary" have a glass of wine to drink regularly? Have a double chocolate glory when they go to Pizza Express? Drink tea and coffee? How many thrive on a lack of intimacy from their partners?

I'd counter that it doesnt amount to many. I'd like to say I dont care or have a need for folks negative opinions on b/feeding. But actually, it's been pretty enlightening. Not in a good way, but enlightening.

Elasticwoman · 28/10/2007 22:08

I don't have to pretend when i say I think extended bf is great. If you don't like it Icod, then you have every right to express that view, but I am not going to agree with it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/10/2007 22:11

Oh, and I would have b/fed someone elses child if required.

Obviously I cant now - my supply has pretty much gone (although there are some indications that I could relactate ).

Cod - do you like a pat on the back for all the threads you've done to encourage people to potty train their children? Should we also pat them on the back?

Does it make it wrong that someone doesnt enforce 'training' on their child, and allows them to do it at their own pace?

Should we enforce time limits on all stages of development?

Elasticwoman · 28/10/2007 22:12

at gp who didn't know the WHO recommendations for bf. And for being so ignorant as not to know that many, many mothers bf past a year, even in our bf unfriendly society.

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 22:18

you are allowed to say whatever you like.
you are allowed to think whatever you like.
but it is rude and hurtful and hurts the feelings of real, actual people.
and good manners and basic humanity mean that in a civilised society we don't go in for brutal honesty.
as my mother used to say - if you have nothing useful to say, then shut the fuck up.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/10/2007 22:19

WRT to the comments about the need to b/feed a child when picked up from nursery:

I was discussing with a jolly good friend of mine the other day about the majority of parents at DD's new school who automatically hand over a bar of chocolate/pack of sweets when they pick their children up.

Fascinating, isnt it?

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 22:19

oh come on, we know what "it isn't necessary" means.
it means "I didn't do it and I don't like it."
arrogant. and dull.
mouth is open, should be SHUT.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/10/2007 22:20

Did she used to say that to you harpsi?

It wasnt when you asked her for a b/feed was it?

CantSleepWontSleep · 28/10/2007 22:20

I've just spent 45 mins trying to catch up with this thread, and am still not at the end! So much for my early night!

Just popping in really to lend moral support to Hunker, Harpsi et al. Go girls!!

And PMSL at the vision of Hunker with fish coming out of her ears .

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 22:21

she did as it happens QV
oh bugger, did anyone see the end of my tether? I appear to have lost it

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 22:23

VVV, I seem to remember having a v similar conversation with a jolly good friend of mine the other day too. What a coincidence