Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

757 replies

TwigorTreat · 27/10/2007 18:46

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

OP posts:
ScaremyVile · 28/10/2007 17:03

Hunker, I wasn't actually holding up any particular age and asking whether bfing at this age was right or wrong.
More just, is there a point where you stop viewing it as unquestionably positive....
1 great
2 great
3 great
4 great
5 ok
6 ok
7 hmm.....

....that sort of thing.

DeathByPruners · 28/10/2007 17:05

Isn't it rather that Herc's sister is uncomfortable with the thought of it for her own reasons, and comfortable enough with her sister to think that that might be funny?

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 17:07

I don't know, JV! It depends on so much more than how many birthdays the child's had. It's about so much more than "child opens mouth, breast goes in, child sucks" as well, which is something else that is often missed.

DS2, for instance, tells me my milk tastes like apples (high praise indeed - he says "apple" randomly when he's happy, he loves them so much). He puts his hand on me as he goes to feed and says "hot" then blows to cool me down. He says "mine" about my breasts and laughs. He didn't do this when he was a newborn, he's unlikely to be feeding at all when he's 7, but I don't know that he won't be, so it's really, really hard for me to say how I feel about it or at what age I'd say "hmm".

StrawberryMartini · 28/10/2007 17:10

Have been reading this thread with interest all day and just wanted to say well done to all you extended bfers. I am in awe!

I had many problems bf with ds1 and ended up expressing for a year - was desperate to make it to that mark. I am determined to succeed with the next baby and from reading this thread am more encouraged to bf for as long as possible.

I would find it odd if I ever saw a child over 2 being bf - but that is simply because I have never seen it. And I would undoubtedly stare, but simply in admiration.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 17:13

Well done you, SM, to express for a year! Hope that your next bf experience is a satisfying one for you - post here for support!

WitchesEverywhere · 28/10/2007 17:14

Aww...'apples' that is so sweet.

ScaremyVile · 28/10/2007 17:15

Fair enough Hunker.
Lol @ blowing to cool you down

StrawberryMartini · 28/10/2007 17:15

Defo!

StrawberryMartini · 28/10/2007 17:15

Oops that was for Hunker

JacOLantanne · 28/10/2007 17:17

Strawberymartini - expressing for a year is awesome. I hope you get your wish with your next one.

DeathByPruners · 28/10/2007 17:19

Cor, I expressed for 4 months and thought that was quite a feat - but a year! Fabulous.

WitchesEverywhere · 28/10/2007 17:21

Wow Strawberymartini, expressing for a year that is such an achievement.

It nearly killed me to pump for a couple of weeks whilst I was in hospital and that was just for night feeds.

tiktok · 28/10/2007 17:27

tori, you are incorrect when you say "Many babies die early in infancy due to malnourishment i.e. for the mother to have a good milk supply an adequate diet is required."

An adequate diet is not required for a good milk supply, fortunately. Nature has 'arranged' it so that breastfeeding can happily take place even when the mother is not on an adequate diet, and mothers who are constantly and extremely severely under-nourished do not tend to get pregnant (another clever thing arranged by nature).

An adequate diet is of course good for the mother, but breastfeeding, still less infant survival, does not depend on it.

The babies who die in infancy from malnourishment are the ones who are not breastfed, or who are separated from their mothers - young, breastfed infants of mothers on less than adequate diets do not die. It is very important that mothers on less than adequate diets breastfeed, for their babies' sake and also for their own sake, as not breastfeeding means they become pregnant again more quickly - which is a further drain on their nutritinal resources.

I am also astonished at your idea that a mother of a toddler or pre-schooler should express and give the breastmilk in a cup! Ridiculous.

JacOLantanne · 28/10/2007 17:31

As an EBFer some of the responses on this thread have made me think. I will BF dd2 more frequently in public if she requires and will not put her off as I have been doing - it does need to be more commonplace.

Bocoreepy · 28/10/2007 17:39

Just caught up on this thread. I'm wondering mainly what Hunker would do if her arm fell off and a fish jumped out of her ear. Like her, i'm just going to cross that bridge when i come to it.

For me, one of the most annoying criticisms is the 'it's all for the mum' argument. Have you ever tried to force a child to bf? Especially a toddler. I don't actually offer dd breastfeeds. She climbs into bed in the morning and this seems to be her most important feed, before her big sister wakes up and the day starts, we have such a lovely cuddle, she twiddles and pats and hums and it's wonderful. I don't feel at all guilty or perverse that i do find comfort in making my child feel comfort - it's nice.

The comment that dhs are getting a raw deal sexually is a bit odd too - i can't see the connection at all

FrannyandZooey · 28/10/2007 17:41

Actually, I really HAVE tried to force (persuade?) a child to breastfeed when they don't want to

not surprisingly, it doesn't work

StrawberryMartini · 28/10/2007 17:41

I can understand it slightly... when I was expressing I didn't want dh anywhere near my boobs and once when he insisted, he said he got a bit of milk out and ewwwww that put me off for months!!!

tiktok · 28/10/2007 17:43

In today's Observer, there is a story about a poor family in Uganda.

here

The family have hardly any money, but they manage to educate and feed their children.

It's illustrated with a smiling pic of the mum, the dad and their four year old son....who is, guess what, breastfeeding, though you would only know it if you were 'attuned' to it. It's not commented on in the caption. It's just something everyday and normal.

It would be nice if the same thing could happen here. Just because it isn't necessary is a daft reason. Every parent does things that aren't necessary - but they enhance life, express love and affection, and add a little to the joy of the relationship. You can do this in a zillion ways, of course, and breastfeeding is one of them. Live and let live, for goodness sake.

tiktok · 28/10/2007 17:44

Unforch, the pic is not on line.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 17:44

I was dozing this morning, on my front, when DS2 climbed onto the bed, over me, and prodded me to turn over, saying "miwk". So, yes, it's all for me, this bf malarkey

Bocoreepy · 28/10/2007 17:45

Well exactly franny - i've had moments when dd was smaller and on the verge of tantrum and i thought a bf would make everything ok - and you're likely to get punched in the boob or your nipple bitten off. If they don't want to bf then i really think they won't do it.

Blandmum · 28/10/2007 17:48

Just like the adds say 'your investment can fall as well as rise' can I, for the sake of all concerned, point out that lovely cuddles can and still do happen for those of us who do not EBF?

Ds (7) snuggles up to me in the morning and says, 'i love you Mum, uou are all warm and squshy'. I think this is a compliment!

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 17:48

DS2 wouldn't even bf after he'd had the MMR recently - I fed him while he was having his first immunisations when he was a baby, but he preferred to squawk briefly after the MMR then play with the Thomas the Tank Engine toy.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 17:49

MB, of course. My posts were more from the POV of demonstrating that it's not about the mum wanting it to happen against the child's will.

Blandmum · 28/10/2007 17:50

No, I know what you mean.

But the cuddles still continue, and don't have to be milk themed I think that the need for cuddling goes on way past even the most extended bf. Which is rather nice all round

Swipe left for the next trending thread