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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

757 replies

TwigorTreat · 27/10/2007 18:46

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

OP posts:

hercules1 · 28/10/2007 12:20

Love witches post about all the things to be done to express milk for a 3 year old in order to please those who find it disgusting rather than simply breastfeeding!

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 12:28

so - let me get this straight:

you have issues with seeing an older child being bf. this is based on nothing at all other than you just don't like it. (if anyone can point me to any reasons why a child shouldn't be bf then I would be interested to hear them but I haven't seen any on this thread. bullied??? my arse)

so, because of your (irrational) prejudices I should stop bf my two year old even though she loves it (unconditionally) and I love it (mostly).

this is because it makes you feel "a bit uncomfortable"?

if I have to do it, then I should do it in private so you don't have to see it???

The ignorance, the arrogance, the sheer smug superiority of your nasty prejudeices over my child's needs and my parenting choices.

yuk. but really, how very enlightening....

knifewieldingtoddler · 28/10/2007 12:28

Theo Walcott was bf long enough that he stated that he remembers bfing (positively). Surely he must have been at least 3 when he was weaned. He seems to be a well adjusted, and dreadfully handsome , 20 or so yr old. He mustn't have suffered from supposed bullying.

I bf dd at nursery in her room when i go to pick her up. I sometimes get her little friends gathering round and all i see is the amazement and fascination on the faces and in the questions her (nearly 3yo) friends have. I have also gotten questions from the different nursery nurses in the time she has been there and I have (hopefully) answered their questions in a way that normalise ebf to them.

nappyaddict · 28/10/2007 12:33

hercules - did you still feed in public up to the age of 4 too? i don't know why so many people have a problem with it. unusual yes (sadly) but offensive no.

hercules1 · 28/10/2007 12:36

No, not in public. With family and friends, yes. Cant remember the age I stopped with ds in public. WIth dd I stopped in public probably around 18 months. Depends where we were really and people around us.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:36

NA, IMO it's because it's "breast".

If it was your little finger children used for sustenance, there wouldn't be half the complaints about it. People don't have hang-ups about their little fingers, usually.

But they often have massive hang-ups about their breasts.

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 12:38

I feed my two year old in public because she still asks to be fed pretty frequently. DD1 I fed until she was over three but very rarely (when she was hurt in a playground once, I remmeber) in public after the age of?? 18 months maybe? because she only asked for it at bedtime/naptime.

Original poster

TwigorTreat · 28/10/2007 12:47

But why would a 3 year old need a breastfeed when being picked up from nursery?

I really don't understand that and I don't mean any offence by the question.

A non breast-fed child would not be immediately given a glass of milk when picked up from nursery. Why settle down to feed a 3 year old on pick-up?

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 28/10/2007 12:48

because they want a cuddle and want to feel close cos they have missed their mum?

WitchesEverywhere · 28/10/2007 12:48

Why not breastfed a child unpon pick up from nursery..whatever the childs age ?

ScaremyVile · 28/10/2007 12:48

Hunker and QV - I will simply say that I wasn't, til now, aware that you both breastfed extendedly (?)("that you were both extended breastfeeders" makes you sound ever so tall).......

.....but I really should have guessed, shouldn't I???

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:49

Depends on your 3yo.

Twig, did you see my let 'em be children fgs thread?

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:50

Jeremy

(PS - am glad I solved the mystery of the thread I didn't want to start for you - I thought of you when I started the other one!)

Original poster

TwigorTreat · 28/10/2007 12:50

why not? because there is no reason for it .. a lovely big hello and cuddle and lets go home

What is the breastfeed representing in this case? A hello? a sign of love? food = love? what?

I really don't get it

OP posts:

Original poster

TwigorTreat · 28/10/2007 12:51

LOL at extended = really really tall

OP posts:

ScaremyVile · 28/10/2007 12:51

I'm really not qualified to have much input in this discussion, but I do think that, had my breastfeeding been successful, I would probably have found it hard to give up.
I completely get the descriptions of the closeness and the comfort bfing mothers talk about.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:52

There's no reason for it in your eyes. But to comment on how another child feels and what's right for that family is a leap I'm not prepared to make in so many instances, and this is one of them.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:54

And I'm sure there are things that I do, that you do, that we all do that are worthy of comment and judgement wrt our children. But unless those things are causing harm, there's NO reason to mention it and the world would be a far nicer place if they weren't sneered at or looked at in a fashion, imo.

WitchesEverywhere · 28/10/2007 12:54

LOL, Children need to drink milk as part of an balance diet...even the formula companies agree with that fact.

tori32 · 28/10/2007 12:54

As I said I have no problem with ebf. As I also said, the bullying aspect was more about school age not pre-school. Nearly all the posts are refering to toddlers not 5,6,7 age children and I have already said that I view this as completely normal whether in public or not.Unfortunately there will be parents who pass negative comments to their children about it. Its not right, but its facts of the playground.

FWIW I was bullied all through school about my glasses. My mother never knew about it until I was an adult. Just because children don't tell you doesn't mean it never happens.

ScaremyVile · 28/10/2007 12:54

Aaaw, bless you Hunky!
Had a quick look last night, but was on my way to bed...it's on my hit-list for the day.

HunkOLantern · 28/10/2007 12:54

I think that sometimes the default face on MN is at a lot of things and that's a shame.

Original poster

TwigorTreat · 28/10/2007 12:57

the default position on many parenting issues is it seems .. whatever side you start of whichever argument one starts from

OP posts:

harpsicorpsecarrier · 28/10/2007 12:58

the bf doesn't represent anything. It really is no big deal! it only looks like a big deal because you are looking at it from a particular (biassed) perspective. it is just, really and truly, a nice warm cuddle and some nice wamr milk on the side.
when I collect my dd2 from the childminder she often asks for a feed.
I think it is because she has missed it/me.
I really don't see why I should hide it away.
I am not ashamed of it, I am meeting my child's needs and for the avoidance of doubt I know my child's needs best and it is no one else's business at all
if you chose to give your child a kit kit when he came out of nursery that owuld be your business
and if I might say so twig you would be the very first to say so, and to point out that it is no-one else business what we feed our children/whether we smack them/ whatever.
this mind your own business stops only when we choose to bf them, even if it is everyone's absolute choice

Original poster

TwigorTreat · 28/10/2007 12:58

oops .. I somehow just managed to repeat exactly what you said hunker .. without adding anything whilst thinking I was posting something profound

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