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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Thread has disappeared. This is the one where I explain what I mean.

170 replies

weasleymum · 19/07/2007 23:39

IMO

There is no BF mafia on MN.

There are people who are very strongly in favour of BF. They are right to be, it is better.

There are people who haven't BF and are upset and/or guilty. This is very sad.

But there is no mafia.

OP posts:

Malfoynomore · 20/07/2007 01:10

Twinkle thing is, that as someone who wanted to bf, and it didn't work out for reasons beyond you, it is upsetting, of course, however, maybe seeing that you found bf so important should make you feel more passionately...your name was just inserted there...wasn't directly at you!
However, often those that really wanted to bf but couldn't are often the most bitter and angry...again, not pointed at you, a more general thing....

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 01:14

Well, I guess it's small consolation for you TM, but that's my perception, and I think you're helping to set right a very common and hurtful myth about how much choice people have.

OP posts:

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:14

erk! bitter and angry?

KerryMumbledore · 20/07/2007 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:16

Yes I take your point (and not personally because that's not me at all I hope). Maybe it's a coping mechanism like "well I never wanted to anyway, it's a stupid, weird thing to do". You know what I mean?

Also, yes it can make you feel more passionately (and I have posted on many many threads trying to raise awareness of tongue tie for example). But it also makes you more circumspect. Yes you hate having to give your baby formula. But you also know that you have bonded just as well, better in fact than when you were breastfeeding. You know he's a healthy baby, that he hasn't had gastroenteritis, ear infections etc. (although DS has had one of each actually). You know that formula companies have very underhand practices and that it is far from an ideal food, but it was also a lifesaver for your baby. It gives you a different perspective on the argument.

KerryMumbledore · 20/07/2007 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 01:18

aitch, did you get 2 emails from me yesterday [paranoid]

OP posts:

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:20

Aitch - Facebook??!!! It must be bad on here (I've missed seeing you around so much btw).

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:20

i did. have i not answered them..? i am finding facebook rawther alluring... sorry . can i just post up your second draft? (i thought the first one deeply wonderful and brainy so i hope yes). although i htink it was only one email i got. stoopid email. [bitter]

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:22

yes, dammit. facebook. it's shiny and new and any judging is done purely on the basis of LOOKS.
missed you too, Twink.

Malfoynomore · 20/07/2007 01:23

Aitch, there are those that seem to be very angry and bitter, and will bite at any positive bf post or anyone who dares to mentione thye were publicly sneered at for bf, etc..saying how hard it si for them....

btw...I have happlily FF my es from 3-4 month old...he was puling all the tim over me, I had no supposrt in hoi wmaybe toreduce this and how it wold only be a phase and I was probably through it almost at that time...I just had enough, was leaking like hell and there just wans't much importance on bf, seeing that I was the only one bfeiing at that stage anyway....

afterwards, when I found out more came the anger....but still never got to 2 years for various reasons...yes, it makes me fell wistful anbout not getting there, but would never in a million years make me want to play down the importnace of bfing..and that is the case with twinklemegan and aitch too, but you both have seen the threads where there is a lof of bitterness, surely....

KerryMumbledore · 20/07/2007 01:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:27

You know I'm not sure I have? Maybe I've been too caught up in my own issues though. Or perhaps I am too dismissive of the hurt some comments could cause.

Also I have been staying away from the feeding threads recently on the advice of a couple of good cyberfriends, so I may not have seen the threads you have in mind.

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:29

And this is another reason I've been staying away from feeding threads. Half past one FGS, and I've got work in the morning! Night all x

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 01:30

I think the balanced viewpoint you describe is admirable, TM - and quite rare.

Everything I say about bf is coloured by the fact that I very nearly didn't manage it with dd1. It was horrendous.

So I'm a bf-er, but I've walked a while in no-man's land and it really, really bugs me when anyone tries to force people to take sides by making crude generalisations.

OP posts:

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:31

dunno, malfoy. sometimes i think that the whole bfing thing is so utterly, overwhelmingly personal and intimate that none of us can see past the end of our own nipples on the subject.

so i never see the 'nazis' or pmsl 'muffia' and i don't really see the bitterness of the ffers. i don't see anything much apart from my own wretched disappointment, i think.

and when i 'meet' someone like twinkle or the many others of us on MN (because let's not kid ourselves that MN is anything like the broad demographic) i just want to stick up for them and let them know that i 'get it'.

i think that's why these conversations never really get resolved, tbh, we all know where we stand and feel compelled to fight our corners. in a way, i do find it the most interesting bit about MN but i know a lot of people hate it.

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 01:34

aitch - you can post draft 2 if you like (it was attached to the 2nd email) - but feel free to criticise.

Night TM!

OP posts:

Malfoynomore · 20/07/2007 01:34

I know what you mean

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:42

righto. are you threeandnomore, btw? i'll post it up tomorrow, wellie. Ladies, if you want to see some really fascinating but totally elderly ad creaky baby feeding research you should go to the www.babyledweaning.com blog thingie and look up Clara Davis. do it tomorrow and you'll see Wellie the queen of academia ripping it to shreds and re-building it in front of our very own eyes.

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:47

Ahh, now it all becomes clear. Stop namechanging!!!!

Twinklemegan · 20/07/2007 01:48

Duh! Harry Potter right? I've not had the dubious pleasure yet as DS is thankfully too young.

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 01:55

aaagghhhhhhhhhhh aitch, that is truly terrifying advance billling...

I'm still ploughing through the thread TM linked to - fascinating reading. I've just found some really great stuff in it written by St Hunker. Might bump up the thread for sentimental reasons, unless anyone objects (it wasn't a flame war though).

OP posts:

Aitch · 20/07/2007 01:57

aye well me and twinkle think we wrote some pretty great stuff on that thread too...

Original poster

weasleymum · 20/07/2007 02:14

put down those fists, that thread has some great and articulate writing from lots of people, even including weirdy mix feeders.

OP posts:

Malfoynomore · 20/07/2007 11:53

yup aitch, I am usually 3andnomore

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