Why "choose" to bottle feed???

[Difers]

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

agree - differs you're not the only one who had crap PN care, nor are you the only one who's had a baby in the photo box - both things are stressful.

a mothers choice how she feeds her baby is up to her, it is no one elses concern and she should not have to justify that decision to anyone.

And I WAS a health professional!

Breast feeding wasn't for me either, I didn't like the idea of flopping my breasts out in front of people to feed DS and I won't be doing it with ds2 when he gets here. DS1 thrived on formula and yes he had 4 hourly feeds to start with.

What works for one doesn't for another. I made a concious decision as do mums who decide to b'f.

I "chose" to bottlefeed, as I didn't want to be knackered ALL the time, and could share out night shift.

Also dd stayed at mil one night per fortnight to give me and dh a break.

I love my dd to bits and she is completely fine. I don't think it makes me less of a mother because I chose to bottlefeed. In fact what's the big deal about what people choose anyway? It's a personal choice.

FWIW, I was a middleclass older mother on a ward who chose to bottlefeed. The other two patients were 17 year olds who chose to breastfeed. Therefore, I don't even think it is a class thing.

'"Is is quicker and easier to bottle feed then if you have loads of children?" '

yes,you can get the older dc to give the baby a bottle

PMSL@Diva (haven't dare do that yet as I have visions of DS3 having a bottle practically rammed down his throat

I cant understand why someone wouldnt at least 'try' Bfeeding, especially when there is so much evidence about how it benefits baby. Ive heard some ridiculous reasons like not wanting saggy boobs etc. TBH I think people assume its going to be inconvinient and really difficult and dont realise that (once established) it is so easy and v v convinient.

Having said that after nearly 6 months of exclusive BF am thinking of stopping or perhaps mix feeding and you could say that my reasons for doing this are a bit selfish.... it is hard as mums to make the right decision and there is a lot of pressure about BF nowadays.

x

BTW i dont know why people just assume that BF will involve feeding all day long. I got my little one into a 3 hourly feeding routiene at 5 weeks and havent looked back. he is now like clockwork, goes through the night and v content with this routiene. Dont really agree with demand feeding. its different when they are tiny though cause you have to do it then for your milk supply and for your newborns needs etc.

But PERHAPS if you choose to bottlefeed you are making choices for your baby that may affect their future health and give them less choice in the future.

I'm thinking about my sister who was bottlefed and has problems with obeseity and very high blood pressure which feels are a direct result of being bottlefed. She now has decided not to have a baby as as pre-eclampsia runs in the family she would be too much at risk given her pre existing high blood pressure.

I would like to ask those people who feel revulsed or animalistic by breastfeeding. Did you always feel like that before having a baby? Do you know why you feel like that??? I think that is where my MIL is coming from and it may help me to cope with her walking out of the room when I breastfeed as even though I am qute a calm person it is really beginning to piss me off and she is not the sort of person you can really ask directly. Thanks.

i attempted bf with dd but on night 2 in the hospital i had midwives virtually bully me into "topping up" with formula and beleived a midwife knew better than me didnt enjoy bf and found it very painful so switched to ff and it was like a weight of my shoulders and dd thrived and still is 6 years later. ds i chose to ff from birth - he was a large baby and again no issues 3 years later..... any subsequent dc would be ff as well

can i just add i certainly admire women who do bf and manage to get through that awful painful stage - am in awe of you all!

there's no guarantee that bf would have altered your sis's problems tho.

I was raised on ff in the 70's same as lots of my friends who have no problems so am a bit about that part of the bf/ff debate but wouldnt dispute that bf is best for baby - sometimes its not best for the family/mother though

There are no studies done are there? I'd love to know if there was a direct link to certain diseases or any form of body dysfunctionality if formula has been used as the main or full source of nutrition from birth....same for early weaning. I suppose it would be logistically impossible to do that wouldn't it? Is it true that there is a higher risk of breast cancer in women who don't bf too?

The fact is there is now a choice Its been mentioned before on this thread that the mass marketing and wide availability of formula during the 50's and 60's ...We have a choice and we can't take that choice away again, all we can do is educate for the benefits of bf.

When my mum had me she said that a MW came over to her and asked was she bottle feeding or BFing. My mum replied she didn't know so the MW shoved a bottle in her hand and so I was bottlefed. It was the fashion 30 odd years ago.

Because I had a nervous breakdown when I was 7 months pregnant and I needed to be able to get away from the baby, and I needed to be in a situation where I could take tranquillisers if necessary.

Because, for number one, I was 22, had neevr seen anyone breastfeeding, and had never held a newborn baby. I had already decided to bottlefeed, because my mum had told me to, telling me I would be able to have more of a life, ie getting out of my bedsit, than if I breastfed.

The reason many young girls choose to bottle feed is, bluntly, because their lives are complecated enough as it is.They have probably never eaten a healthy diet in their lives, they found the restraints of pregnancy difficul;t, and do not wish to continue that for another year.

All the literature about alcohol in pregnany points to 'wine'. What if you don't drink bloody 'wine'? Wine is a middle class obsession - breastfeeding literature aims its stuff at the middle classes. The pictures are of mums called Gillian in their thirties in a Marks and sparks feeding blouse, with adoring hubby looking on. She planned that baby and is ready to devote her whole life to it's wellbeing - so is her husband. They have a nursery ready for when the baby moves out of mum's room, and already have a selection of carefully chosen wooden toys.

This is not reality for many many mothers, and coincidently these are probably the mothers least likely to breastfeed

It doesn't show photographs of Gemma, in Adidas jumper and cropped jeans, with a rather reluctant teenage father deciding he's off down the pub cos that babby's so noisy, and her knowing that the HV has already earmarked her as a possible neglectful mother because she's only 17 and lives in a hostel, and if the baby loses any more weight they are going to get uncomfortably interested in her, and her mother promised to help but in reality doesn't. Baby sleeps in with her - as per advioce, but mainly because there is nowhere else for baby to sleep.

Gemma desperately wants to be a proper family, she wants Aaron to take a real interest in his beautiful daughter, but she already knows that he thinks breasat feeding is 'disgusting and sick', and thinks that the baby is better off with a father than with breastmilk, when there is perfectly good formula which she gets vouchers for anyway.

"But PERHAPS if you choose to bottlefeed you are making choices for your baby that may affect their future health and give them less choice in the future"

But don't we as parents do that anyway? some people just don't like the idea of b'f some do. Some can't, others can.

well said Lizzer. i dont understand why some bfers get up in arms about a woman choosing to ff, i dont get upset about mums choosing to bf.

"people who feel revulsed or animalistic by breastfeeding" Difers,i think we have the Victorians to thank for our often twisted approach to our bodies and its functions, its a learnt behaviour passed down through generations and it must be horrible to be affected in that way

wow escapefrom, that was quite honestly one of the best posts i have ever read on here.

excellent post, escapefrom. hadn't thought about the wine thign before, so very true.

Because I wanted to

Totally agree Escapefrom, excellent post

My point was (got lost in a rant in my last post)

If I can't live up to the standerd that seems to be set - the Laura Ashley sofa, the coordinated nursery, the distinguished husband - what on earth is there to lead me to believe I can breast feed?

These people live on a different planet to me!

Lizzer, there is a lot of research showing links between bf/ff and later conditions.

The Victorians were fine about breastfeeding, and about breastfeeding 'in public', too.

EscapeFrom, I agree with you about setting 'choices' in a social context. That's why it is justifiable to put 'choice' in inverted commas - something that pissed a few posters off downthread. Some people don't actually have a real 'choice' in the way you might choose between, I dunno, a red tee shirt and a green one, because the decision to breast or bottle feed is affected by emotional baggage, what their mum told them to do, what their partner thinks, what happened during the birth, what the midwife said to them, their own emotional and mental health, a need for non-compatible meds....all sorts of things, which make it much less of a free choice than purely what the mum decides she wants to do.

Recent bf leaflets show a greater range of people, and I agree that's important. I haven't seen any that talk about 'wine' in exclusion to other forms of alcohol, though, and I also think the days are gone when 'wine' is immediately associated only with middle class mothers.

standard, damnit.