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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
CalifrauniusFudge · 13/07/2007 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lissie · 13/07/2007 21:34

lol fannieannie

DoubleBluff · 13/07/2007 21:34

I tried to BF DS1 and it was a disaster.
I put DS2 on formula as soon as , as I did not want to go through pain again and look after a toddler.
I have no regrets.

lisad123 · 13/07/2007 21:35

Because they want to. We all make decisions about our babies and children and do what is best for them and us.
Its no one elses bussiness if you choose to bottle or breast feed, its not killing the kids is it.
By the way i do choose to bf my dd and my next LO.

fannyannie · 13/07/2007 21:35

"I think that you just have to do what works and the more children you have the more flexible you are as to what suits you."]

Exactly - think you've summed it up perfectly there - of course breast if best - but if it ain't working for you as a mother/your family then do something that does

MoosMa · 13/07/2007 21:35

I don't see the problem with the OP's question, I'm intrigued too and was talking to someone about this the other day so I'm glad someone else asked it as I didn't dare.

I tried BF-ing with both my DDs, DD1 was so refluxy that she couldn't keep my milk down so had to have FF as it's thicker and stayed in. DD2 was biting chunks off me so I had to stop and express for a while which mucked everything up and I couldn't get started again. I expressed twice a day for 3 months but decided to give up as I was too run down and it was a PITA to do.

Original poster
Difers · 13/07/2007 21:37

Thanks for all the replies..

I really had quite a difficult time trying to breastfeed and had to feed DS formula/expressed milk initially so it is not like I have never used a bottle.

I was actually bullied about breastfeeding by the breastapo at Chelsea & Westminster hospital as as I had a different midwive evry 8 hours for 8 days and they all treated me like shit for asking for a bottle to feed my sick baby when the paeds were telling me I HAD TO or he would become dehydrated. So I am not really coming from the smugoid camp at all.

I also appreciate the generational difference which meant that years ago bottle feeding was promoted.

But I am really interested in some of the responses...like wanting your body back...and routines... ???

OP posts:
iamapieceofcheesecake · 13/07/2007 21:37

I suppose it's like asking 'Why would anyone choose to give their children MacDonalds and Fruit Shoots...' Hee hee

docket · 13/07/2007 21:38

Ugh.

fannyannie · 13/07/2007 21:38

"But I am really interested in some of the responses...like wanting your body back...and routines... ???"

Can I ask a "personal" question..........

How many children do you have???

tutu100 · 13/07/2007 21:39

I thought I would have done that. I have realised that I may have to adjust my feeding principles if I have another child. DS was my 1st and so I did have the time to just sit and feed. I know that won't be as easy with subsequent children. I hoping the next one might be a speedy feeder.

What I meant more though was when people bottle feed the feeds may seem shorter, but no one ever seems to add in the time spent washing bottles, sterilising them, boiling the kettle, waiting for water to cool then heating the feed back up again. That all takes time. I keep trying to explain to people that yes in the early days all you do is feed, but once things settle down feeding is very quick.

I don't know really why I started writing on this thread as they do always seem to turn into an argument. I'm just fed up in rl of being riduculed for my bf beliefs.

sweetkitty · 13/07/2007 21:39

I think the antibreastfeeding message from the 60s and 70s and the commercialisation of formula is still playing a large part in the "get them on the bottle" culture that exists. I had never seen anyone breastfeed before in my life (probably because they were all so discreet) all the women in my family bottle fed my Gran had 6 children they were all bottle fed. She told my Mum and Aunts not to bother with it as it was "what poor people did" and "bottle fed babies were more content slept better and you could see what they were getting" Also 30 years ago you were in hospital for 10 days you weren't allowed out your bed for the 7 and your baby was brought to you every 4 hours for feeding. I would have cracked up.

So I believe that many women just listen to their mums and bottle feed because they see it as being normal and the best thing to do.

But as much as I am pro breastfeeding I understand for one reason or another some women choose not to do it, they shouldn't be made to feel like failures for not breastfeeding and I certainly wouldn't look down on someone bottle feeding.

Tortington · 13/07/2007 21:40

yeah bottle feeding is totally akin to macdonalds.

Mercy · 13/07/2007 21:40

I don't have a problem with the OP if it were a genuine question - it's the way it's phrased.

"choose"

"didn't even bother trying"

It's a loaded question. ANd where is Difers? What do you think so far?

octo · 13/07/2007 21:40

oooh easy tigers!

I have no idea whether ds2 was in a routine because he was bottlefed - but it probably contributed to it a great deal. DS3 has no routine at all but thats because I chase round after the other two and feed him whenever I feel like it! Not sure how I would introduce a routine to him when bf. He has a bed routine which works well though.

lissie · 13/07/2007 21:41

after growing two children she wanted to feel like her body was her own again. which (tho i am pro-bf) i understand.

ow82 · 13/07/2007 21:41

I think it's awful for a lady to feel bullied into a choice either way - mum should do as mum wants tbh, and any pressure either way is wrong.

ow82 · 13/07/2007 21:41

lol custy!

Mercy · 13/07/2007 21:41

Sorry difers !! Have just seen yoru post

docket · 13/07/2007 21:42

Totally agree with Mercy.

Sexonknackeredlegs · 13/07/2007 21:42

I tried breastfeeding with dd1, and it was horrific. I didn't feel comfortable with the concept of it - too animal-like, and also didn't know what she was getting, if anything. I used to dread her waking up and needing feeding. It really hampered the bonding process. I gave up after 1 week.

Didn't even attempt b/feeding with dd2 who is now 12 weeks old. I do not regret it for 1 minute.

elkiedee · 13/07/2007 21:44

Laughing at FannyAnnie's post, thanks for bringing some levity to this very emotive subject.

As some others who have posted here clearly know, not all who bottle feed are doing so by choice, some are failed breastfeeders - like me. I actually enjoyed the times I got my baby latched on successfully, there just weren't enough of them. Having learned some very painful lessons in the last 10 weeks, I hope if I'm lucky enough to be able to have a 2nd child, to do better at breastfeeding next time.

Although there is more support and encouragement available for breastfeeding, I still think there's a lot of scope for improvement available, and would hesitate to critcise anyone else's choice or assume that it had actually been a choice without finding that out. I only learned recently that I wasn't breastfed, and that my mum only succeeded on her third go, as did my stepbrother's wife.

iamapieceofcheesecake · 13/07/2007 21:44

Just trying to lighten the mood (

divastrop · 13/07/2007 21:44

i am intrigued by the fact that some ff babies go four hours between feeds,and that some people choose to ff so as to avoid 'frequent feeds'.

my dd2 and dd3 both faffed about,drinking 2 oz of milk or so about every 1.5-2 hours for the first few weeks.even now,at 4 months old,dd3 still has a bottle every 3 hours.

quiveutmabonnebaguette · 13/07/2007 21:45

Hi !!

I'm breastfeeding my dd because I'm able to do it and I love it.. I love looking at DD having a feed..I have never considered bottle feeding her while I was pregnant...I love the extreme closeness that bf offers...but in other hands I respect the choice of bottle feeding..you've got to do what's best for your baby and for you.

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