Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
blueshoes · 23/08/2007 20:16

I did not breastfeed exclusively out of choice either.

Was urged to give dd a bottle because she was 0.4th centile (which in hindsight was crap advice). Dd insisted on the breast and screamed and screamed at the bottle. I perserved every afternoon for 5 months (apparently if you offer it enough times they will eventually take it - NOT) until I gave up and let dd have the breast only, much to her and my immense relief.

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:19

As for feeling dirty, pooing on the delivery table might do it, too.

Original poster
Difers · 23/08/2007 20:20

I agree with you Nadinebaggott. I see people who have had amputations etc as a result of diabetes, research has linked bottle feeding to increased risk of diabetes therefore it is a no brainer really, why out of choice would I then expose my baby to that risk. (This is a statement of my thought process rather than a question)If one hasn't had this type of experience one wouldn't have the same thought process.

Froozykins, As for feeling like feeding your baby is dirty in a sexual way I would say you haven't got much of a choice either. Do you think that there should be support for people such as yourself, however you end up feeding your baby??

OP posts:
lyndyloo · 23/08/2007 20:21

Froozykins - you are taking the p**s surely? If not I wonder about your sanity and a society where the normal activity of feeding a baby in the way nature intended is somehow construed as sexual. FFS.

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:26

I admit Froozy's Fobia sounds a bit ... er... strange (?) but like I said earlier, I have a blind, unreasonable fear of spiders. Let's not commit her yet, hey?!

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:29

ok, controversial post alert.

I chose to bottle feed.....

  1. I had twins and simply could not tandem feed and could not listen to one cry while i fed the other

  2. I had twins (see a pattern forming?) and decided i was going to be very tired and would need DH to help with feeds and in the 8 weeks boys were in hosp I found i was not expressing sufficient.

  3. i wanted to be able to throw a baby at a visitor or a friend while I was out so they could help feed

  4. I was going back to work very early (5 months)

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:30

What's wrong with that? Except possibly the baby-throwing which might raise a few eyebrows.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:32

I only dropped one once....he bounced

froozykins · 23/08/2007 20:32

no, im not irish, im not catholic and its not sexual dirty, thats the only way i could think to describe how it makes me feel.

maybe i should have said i have a strong revulsion to the idea. and it makes me angry that i should be bullied into doing somthing that makes me uncomfortable, surely that wouldn't be good for the baby or my mental health if im pressured into it and hate every moment of feeding.

ive read in quite a few pregnancy books that it is normal for some woman to feel repulsed by breast feeding.

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:32

So where's the problem - you've got another one in reserve, no?

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:34

very true, always got the back up....

would like to add, IF (big IF) I had another I would try and breast feed - i hated the sterilising......

lyndyloo · 23/08/2007 20:36

yeah well - no doubt I'll get slagged off for not recognising the different views in relation to feeding but tbh since bfers get the usual 'nazi' and militant labels I'm fed up of being 'understanding'.

BF is hard I know. I've done it for 12 months and had a rocky start. I think I would like to wean her off now but it's not happening. However at the end of the day I know it's best for baby, best for me and when I read how screwed up the world is in relation to bfing it makes me mad. You see t*ts hanging out all over lads mags and newspapers but god forbid you feed your baby in public.

I could go on and no doubt I will have offended people who feel they had genuine reasons for not persisting with formula feeding and yes my Lo has had formula on occasion when at nursery and over 6 months so I realise it has a place - just not as the main way to feed a newborn IMO.

smeeinit · 23/08/2007 20:39

i actually feel just the same as froozy,well that is i did when my ds's were babys. i cant explain it really but froozy does a good job of explaining the kind of feeling.
its weird but i felt i definatly could not bf my boys,it felt wrong to me.
ds's are older now and i ahve to say i feel different,i wouldnt ahve done it any diffrent with them but if i did (and believe im not going to) have another i would at least give bfing a good go.
maybe its just that i was so young when i had ds's? i dont know.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:40

lyndyloo, thats exactly it, YOUR OPINION. MY OPINION is either is good and neither will harm baby. Doing something that stresses mummy out and leaves everyone in tears is more harmful.

I am pro choice, do what you want how you want to do it, it's your baby at the end of the day.

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:41

I have bfed in the US, France, UK and in various Caribbean islands (was on a cruise ship for reasons too complicated to go into) and I have never, ever had a negative reaction to what I was doing. Maybe I have just been lucky.

Original poster
Difers · 23/08/2007 20:42

Does anyone know why people are revulsed by breastfeeding????

I would probably bottle feed twins but I met a womanin my NHS post natal group who had had 5 children previously (all bottlefed) but had just had twins and was successfully breastfeeding and loved it and in order to dispel stereotypes further she lived in a council flat.

OP posts:
lyndyloo · 23/08/2007 20:43

Well it's an opinion based on fact. The fact being that breastfeeding is better for babies.

Of course everyone has a choice. FF isn't bad for babies, just not the best or natural nutrition to give them.

Olihan · 23/08/2007 20:46

I have a friend who has just had a double mastectomy (aged 28) because her mum, aunts, several cousins and nieces have all developed breast cancer before the age of 35. She tested positive for the faulty gene so has gone for the preventative option.

She will have to ff, there is no choice for her but it makes me very sad that so many judgements will be made about her by people who don't know the reason why she is ff.

I really wish women could just accept others' feeding choices as a personal decision, not something to be looked down on or questioned.

froozykins · 23/08/2007 20:46

smeeinit- HOORAY, someone who understands how i feel, im sure we are not the only ones out there who feel weird about breast feeding.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:47

difers, if i'd had more help i could maybe have managed it.....but after a night in hosp just before they came home, when i had one nurse with one baby and my dh with the other, both straddling me while i was on a double bed trying to latch the boys on, i thought, fook this, how the bollox am i gonna do this at home on my own!

I can sooooo see the benefits, no bottles to wash, no formula to buy, no sterilising, milk already at room temp - pure heaven.....am almost temped to have another just so i can try it!

fatslag · 23/08/2007 20:48

I couldn't pick up a spider if you paid me or stuck a gun in my back. I suspect this is what a boob phobia is like.

3andnomore · 23/08/2007 20:49

I think op asked out of sincere curiosity.
yes, there are several reaosns, but, tbh, I think if you sincerely choose, ratehr then forced to...maybe even then some people find it hard to answert this, althogh those that choose it as their first choice of feeding method should not have a problem with asking, and they should be doing it happily...there was, the bits that I read a fair few defensive posts, and I will neverunderstand those...as personally I would have to say if I make a choice a try to make an informed one, and therefore would be completely happy wiht it!
So, I am not against ff by choice, just don't understand the apprehensiveness about sharing the why's..I sire know why I did my choices...

3andnomore · 23/08/2007 20:53

Olihan obviously it is up to your friend to disclose her personal infortation to anyone who asks....and I agree it will be to easy to judge her, I suppose, however, I hope she is strong....having gone through the surgery she has gone with the mindaltering processes that must go on in a women in that situation, she will be strong, adn I hope she will be able to say that, it was either her breastfeeding but possibly dying before the child was 5 or her ff but hopefully not dying through breastcancer at all, and hopefully beign a mummy to her child a long time and into adulthood, etc...!

Idobelieveinfairies · 23/08/2007 20:54

I didn't breastfeed my first 3 children...don't know how to explain why i didn't...i just didn't want to. These feelings happened all the way through the pregnancies and for the first 3-4 days of having a newborn..around the 5th day i an ENORMOUS urge to breast-feed...hormones?..not sure, but then it was too late.

With my 4th baby i put in my birth plan that i intended to breast-feed. Once ds was born after an horrendous birth the midwife kind of plonked him down..latched him on before i could say no! and i am very glad she was forceful tbh as breast-feeding was great! But then i think ds was a very placid, quick feeder so i had plenty of time with the other children.

I tried feeding my twins that were born 2 years later, but by day 5 they were sicking up blood and starving, i just didn;t have enough milk or energy.
Didn't attempt bf with my 2nd set of twins.

I liked both breast and formula feeding for different reasons..pros and cons to both i believe.

Meeely2 · 23/08/2007 20:55

my sister took cartons of formula into hosp, had no intention of bf. I think that was partly my fault. I did all i could to recommend breast feeding, and not do 'i ff so therefore thats best'....i think unfortunately from the outside to a first time mum (she only had one antenatal class) it looks like hard work! and ff looks like the easy option. I think lack of support and the proper information is the main cause of people ff.

She saw me successfully bottle feeding and me saying it was the best thing for me, but i did mean, best thing for me cos i had twins and the logistics of it all. I didn;t question her choice, but do wish she'd tried as she is not particularly well off and formula is BLOODY expensive.