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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
kiskidee · 15/07/2007 21:56

and i wanted to be 499

Twinklemegan · 15/07/2007 21:58

OK then, to anyone who has said so subsequently - if you try and fail to breastfeed then formula feeding IS NOT A CHOICE. That shouln't be a difficult concept to understand. And that's my last word on the subject as I have vowed never to get dragged into this debate again.

Twinklemegan · 15/07/2007 21:58

Oh darn it - "shouldn't" that should be.

kiskidee · 15/07/2007 21:59

agree twinkie.

ScottishMummy · 15/07/2007 22:01

kiskidee - hmmmm!!!you knowledge of psychiatry a bitty skew wiff psychopathy and formula feeding linked in the same sentence- thats a new one..what next formula feeding and cannibalism linked

let me get my DSM to consult

kiskidee · 15/07/2007 22:04

thank you for misinterpreting my post SM. can always find someone on MN to do that.

next time just say that i am talking a pile of shit. i'll have more regard for you if you'd said that.

loonyballoony · 15/07/2007 22:05

Kiskidee, am confused with your posts. You did earlier list all sorts of evils that are the fault of women who ffeed and that it will affect what you pay in tax etc. Were you referring to women who ff from birth like me? And what is this about psychopaths? Are you sure you don't judge?

ScottishMummy · 15/07/2007 22:07

i assumed u had some empirical evidence for the psychopathy-formula feeding inference

youpeskykids · 15/07/2007 22:10

OMG - I promised myself I wouldn't continue with this, but some comments are just MADDENING.

To quote Kiskidee - "i don't really think there are any women out there, bar one or two psychopaths, who would choose to formula feed from birth if bf was not such a laden issue in our society"

Ok, you've got me. You've spotted me. I've been outed. I am a PSYCHOPATH (as defined by you - oh, and btw, this could be considered defamatory to those suffering from mental health problems).

As soon as I found out I was pregnant with DS1, I chose to Bottlefeed. I had NO intention whatsoever to Breastfeed. I don't have any social/physical/psycological reasons forcing me to select bottlefeeding over breastfeeding. I had a completely free choice as far as I was concerned. Felt exactly the same with DS2. Was totally oblivious to breastfeeding being a 'laden issue in society'. Both DS1 and DS2 have thrived on formula and, pardon me for blowing my own trumpet, but I actually think I'm a bloody good mum.

Oh, and for what its worth, I am a WOHM, I drive a 4x4, I have taken my DS1 to Macdonalds, blardy blah blah

SO STICK IT UP YOUR JACKSIE - although not sure I can reach you up there on your high horse....might have to ask DH if I can borrow his step ladder.

Goodnight.
(will await sarcastic response and will then step away....)

kiskidee · 15/07/2007 22:13

loony, that list is not a list of faults of mother's. it is a list of the disadvantages of ff.

those disadvantages of formula is why a larger chunk of everyone's taxes goes to healthcare, not just mine.

no, women who choose to ff are not psychopaths. sorry to confuse. all i was trying to say was that women want the best for their babies and eventhough some women 'choose' to ff from birth does not mean they necessarily had a fair choice because our society has so many issues with infant feeding, be it breast or bottle.

a genuine psychopath would deliberately set out to harm a child and no mother would really do that.

kiskidee · 15/07/2007 22:14

yep, peskykid. i agree with you on every single point. nighty nite.

youpeskykids · 15/07/2007 22:16

ha ha...

loonyballoony · 15/07/2007 22:18

Kiskidee, thx for explaining your posts. Although I don't really believe these disadvantages you list are really due to ffeeding. In my (laymans) opinion the majority of money goes towards smoking induced illnesses, but I'm probably biased because my dad smoked himself to death and I've seen the cost to NHS and all around. But that's another subject all together.

youpeskykids - loved your post, wish I could be so eloquent!

Twinklemegan · 15/07/2007 22:19

I'd imagine smokers contribute more to the NHS in taxes than they cost in medical care, but that IS a whole other thread.

ScottishMummy · 15/07/2007 22:21

sadly smoking has a high medical and personal cost as evident on oncology or vascular wards..and no it does not pay for itself by any stretch of imagination or figures

JoolsToo · 15/07/2007 22:27

ha, ha pesky she found us both

dassie · 15/07/2007 22:41

That list of 101 reasons to breastfeed - I haven't read them all but alot are silly (as in who cares - eg 16, 94, 99 and 100), some are based on quite old research (eg 77 re jaws is 20 years old - bottles have changed beyond recognition since then) and some are only 'may' (eg 96, 97). And some can be disputed as depending on the child (67,68,69) or the mother (19).

I didn't want to breast feed but I did for 3 months and then stopped. i made an informed decision and I am happy and so is ds. he has beautiful skin and smells lovely btw.

daisybo · 16/07/2007 08:56

oh for goodness sake.
clearly we all know breastfeeding is the best nutrition for babies, it has lots of health befeits for mums and babies.
some people clearly choose not to breastfeed for lots of reasons, including because they don't want to.
some people feel this is their choice, some people feel it's not to even try breastfeeding. so we disagree, everyone has different opinions, we are never all going to agree on this, or change other peoples opinions that we don't agree with, so let's just let it die now.

THE END

daisybo · 16/07/2007 08:56

benefits

FioFioJane · 16/07/2007 09:17

thank god mears is a midwife and not some of you others is all i can say

fannyannie · 16/07/2007 09:41

"it is the bonding, the cuddles"

that's odd - I bonded very well with DS2 and had lots of cuddles with him too..but he was FF - and (strangely enough) when DS3 (currently mixfeeding) is being fed he has cuddles too......infact he probably gets longers cuddles being FF than if he were BF...as when DH feeds him quite often he'll then let him sleep in his arms (whereas whether I give him breast or bottle it's a quick cuddle afterwards and then put him down for a sleep )

fannyannie · 16/07/2007 09:42

"hence why the longer children are breastfed, the less likely they are to need orthodontistry later on."

oh poo - I guess I drew the short straw on that one then - I probably have the worst teeth on MN - I HATE them (but I also have a phobia of Dentists so don't do anything about it)

Gobbledigook · 16/07/2007 09:52

Oh what is all this bollox about paying more tax due to FF. Get a fecking grip.

I plenty of tax that goes to pay for things that are self inflicted but I'm not complaining about it - NHS treatment for heavy smokers and drinkers anyone? NHS money spent on people who are obese (I could give you a list as long as your arm of the consequences of that). NHS money spent on people who have sports injuries, accidents due to careles driving, accidents due to stupid stunts. God, you could go on forever.

And, btw, if it's of any interest at all. I am 34 and have one filling - SMA really buggered my teeth up there didn't it? God, could it, ooooh theory of the century, be down to my genes?

Ds1 has done his year 2 SATS papers 6 months into year 1 - yeah, he's really bloody thick due to my selfishness isn't he? OR, could it be that how he was fed has F*CK ALL to do with it?

There isn't one overweight person in my family - could that be because we get out and exercise and we don't eat shit?

Let's be realistic here - how you turn out in life is about as down to whether you had formula or breastmilk as it is to what way the wind was blowing on the day you were born.

fannyannie · 16/07/2007 09:52

"I wish more women would be honest, like those who give up within the first week. It is often because they hate it and feel they aren't 'allowed' to say that. "

You know what Mears you've made a good point there. I certainly don't "hate" BFing still do enjoy our little snuggle up in the early morning (probably because I can go to sleep while he suckles as opposed to the fact that I'm bf'ing ) but certainly this time round (with DS3) I've just never felt the same BF him as I did with DS1, or for the first few (5) days before I switched to bottle with DS2.

I think I was "determined" to BF this time round a) because I know that it's the best for baby and b) because I thought I would enjoy the feeding times with him - but it just didn't happen yes I love gazing down at him, and him snuggle in my arms (I still do that with a bottle)........but that was it, no other "magical" feelings that I used to have with DS1 or that other women claim to feel while BFing - infact I feel no different when giving him a bottle as I did when I was bf'ing him.

Elsbells · 16/07/2007 10:02

Just reading through this thread and some of your opinions are exactly why I am even more down about having to resort to ff.

I am very close to becoming a"failed" bf. My story is too long into going into detail but after almost 6 weeks of attempting to bf (but having to supplement more often day by day) and trying EVERYTHING under the sun (and seeking adivce at support groups and so on...) to keep it up, it looks like it's not going to happen for me. :-(

I feel guilty and sad as it is and now when some of you see someone like me FF out there you will have a million opinions about me and how I should have been bf, I am doing my child harm and so on -so much for woman comradery. We are each others worst enemies at times.