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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
divastrop · 14/07/2007 21:51

fannyannie-when i start seeing eyes looking at me from the formula milk at 4am when i am half asleep and prone to hallucinations,i will blame you

fannyannie · 14/07/2007 21:52

anyhow I only came upstairs to get the "Jigroll" so I can start my jigsaw puzzle that I've been meaning to start for months.......got a Vodka and Orange waiting for me downstairs (with proper Polish Vodka as opposed to Smirnoff cr*p) so I'm off

tiredemma · 14/07/2007 21:53

In answer to the OP- why do people think thats it any of their business how anyone feeds their baby? - not being disrespectful to you - just wonder why you feel the need to query the feeding choice made?

divastrop · 14/07/2007 21:57

actually,ds2 was great on aptamil,but dd2 didnt like it,so she ended up on cow+gate.dd3 didnt like C+G so i put her on aptamil,and she was fine untill 2 weeks ago,now shes full of wind all the time.

winestein · 14/07/2007 21:57

Peanut (hi! got over the whole dog thread yet? )

The problem is that many many people do not "choose" to bottlefeed... they do not go through pregnancy believing that they will give their baby a bottle as their very first feed. Or their tenth, twentieth feed, or whichever feed it is. It is the word "choose" and "choice" that causes so much hurt on these threads.

And then there are the people who do choose to do so. So by definition, they are not hurt by such threads because they actively made a choice.

As a BF counsellor, perhaps something to think about

winestein · 14/07/2007 22:00

tut at me Fannie - I'm so ironic I missed the irony

divastrop · 14/07/2007 22:00

think i'll try this next

peanutbear · 14/07/2007 22:03

just about got over dog thread thought about it whilst alking dog tonight!! made me chuckle

on to topic: thats why I said people have bad experiences I meant they tried and for whatever reason couldnt continue
I try to help give advice but if for whatever reason they cant or choose not to I dont think we have the right to judge
its personal to each different person making people feel rubbish because they either can't or dont want to BF in myopinion is dreadful walk a mile in someones shoes who tried and cant before judging

daisyandbabybootoo · 14/07/2007 22:08

tiredemma.....the OP posted this:

By Difers on Sat 14-Jul-07 21:07:57

Well out of all these posts there aren't that many people who say that they actually chose to bottlefeed without very good reasons such as bad experiences, depression, pain etc.. so really this thread isn't about the the breastfeeding brigade versus bottle feeding brigade and I actually have changed my opinion oh cynical ones.

Can this be allowed to die a natural death now?

tiredemma · 14/07/2007 22:16

yes ok- let it die

winestein · 14/07/2007 22:41

Oh I know. I laugh every time I call my dog back. Mind boggling!

Problem remains... if you tried and failed, for whatever reason, turning to bottlefeeding is not a choice. It seems a necessity. I and many of us on Mumsnet have probably learned (from the lovely Tiktok et al) that it is down to inadequate support and we all know it is often desperation in the end. Not choice.

It does not hurt those that chose to bottle feed as formula feeding is absolutely not the work of the devil, as some would have us believe - all of us who set out to but for whatever reason didn't manage it will testify to this as our babies are fine. It was just never a "choice". That word is inappropriate

Gobbledigook · 14/07/2007 22:43

'BUT i still breastfed dd til she was 20mths as i knew her needs came before mine and i wanted her to have the best start in life, (and 7 yrs later shes attaining the highest possible grades in her year and doing amazingly well'

Oh my God! Priceless!

And daisybo doesn't even warrant a response. She's beyond help.

winestein · 14/07/2007 22:43

oh bllcks

I was just finishing that post when someone called, so I posted without realising the thread was throwing it's dying swan

loonyballoony · 14/07/2007 22:45

Sorry to keep this thread alive for a bit longer. Difers, you asked why bfeeding gives me the heebiejeebies, well, there is no particular reason except it just does. I suppose we all have different things we don't like and for me bfeeding is just that and I'm sure there are more like me. We had a thread a while ago and someone compared it to a phobia, which could be right. I'm sad to read that some people think bfeeding is selfish, we all want what's best for our babies and we can only do our best.

winestein · 14/07/2007 22:45

Oh bum.

You see... I have just been skimming the thread from time to time, only catching up with the , say, last 10 or 20 posts. And I missed that absolute corker from Allgonebellyup Gobble. Thanks for alleviating me from the trouble of taking her seriously from now on
WHAT an arse.

Gobbledigook · 14/07/2007 22:48

Not just on this thread either.

In fact, thanks allgonebellyup for reminding me why MN just doesn't cut it much these days. It's full of eejits.

Ta-ra.

tiredemma · 14/07/2007 22:49

does bf really mean better grades???

puffylovett · 14/07/2007 22:51

ooh suspect this thread might have run it's course - but in answer to op - i'm successfully BF BECAUSE my best friend whose baby is 3 mths older than mine had such a nightmare time with it. SHe got to the point where she was expressing blood her nips were so cracked, so consequently she made sure I read up and got the support to ensure i could BF well. Luckily me 'n' DS are a great team and had an easy time of it and we love bf, and I mentally thank my friend every day. She was gutted, but out of the 2 of us - she has more of a life, as ds slept through 7-7 from 13 weeks! whereas I'm a sleep deprived wreck !!

As for the health issues - she & I are both complementary therapists, eat organic as much as poss, don't use conventional medicine etc etc. her little boy, being FF has had conjunctivitis once and otherwise is the picture of health, mine never been ill (yet!). Funnily enough another friend breastfeeds but smokes, drinks and eats junk all day every day and her child has been continually ill and almost permantently on anti-biotics for chest infections etc. I firmly believe that diet, both during and post pregnancy, lifestyle, medical care, maternal care and beliefs play a large part in a babies overall health, but alos genetic pre-disposition also plays an extremely large part in anybodies health. For example, an asthmatic could have been breast fed but if the mother is asthmatic or suffers hayfever / eczema, genetically the babu is more likely to have 1 of these 3 things and bf wouldn't necessarily prevent that.

Im a firm believer in giving your baby the best start in life, and if that means FFing then at the end of the day a thriving baby and a happy mum are whats important.

i really hope I don't come across santimonious and smug ! I'm new to all this & have read this thread with interest and just wanted to express my experiences.

winestein · 14/07/2007 22:52

Oh, I know GDG. It reminded me she is the luverley person who contributes to threads anything to do with dogs that they should all be killed.

I would hate to get myself into the state where I found myself with that kind of personality.

AugustusRookWhooosh · 14/07/2007 22:54

Apologies for not having read the enire thread (izarrely one of my pet hates but am tired and emotional).
My choce prior to giving birth was to feed my dd for 2-4 wks only as I am very swlf conscious-family,friends etc-that is my problem but I thought that dd would get the best out of me and then formula wasn't that bad.
As it happened,my Mum died suddenly just before dd was born and I didn't produce a single drop of anything. No colustrum-despite her heazding straight for the breast and costant trying-I had to go straight to bottle.
Still feel guilty but if I hadn't-what would she be like now?-dead or malnourished?
I alwasy planned to bottle feed post 2-4 wks due to my personal insecurities-so shoot me.....

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/07/2007 23:03

One of the things that does really hack me of about some woman who BF is that they really do belive that they are superior mums!! Daisyboo!!!!

Its a PERSONAL choice. I thnk there are pros and cons to BOTH. I would never think of saying to a woman who has just given birth and is struggling to get her milk going whilst her baby screams in hunger "Your selfish, your baby is starving!"

When I had dd I was on a ward with 4 BF mums all the babies screamed for days as they were all struggling. No doubt some got there and some did not.I personally found it very distressing to watch and especially one lady who did not speak good english and had a terrible birth was virtually bullied into it by midwives.But this does not give me the right to come on here and judge people.

I think if BF works for you then great but it doesnt work for everyone and posts like yours just make some people feel failures.

Shame on you

loonylovegood · 14/07/2007 23:06

Chocolate peanut is your post aimed at daisyboo or daisybo? They are two different people and daisyboo is a lovely lady who would never judge anyone because of how they choose to feed their babies!

mosschops30 · 14/07/2007 23:07

well said chocolate peanut, shame everyone doesnt feel this way

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 14/07/2007 23:09

sorry it was daisybo who got my back up with the 'selfish' comment aghhhhh

AugustusRookWhooosh · 14/07/2007 23:11

I personalyy do feellike a failure,despite,owing to grief,producing no milk whatsoever. I desperately wanted to give my dd colustrum at leat and then switch to formula for mersonal rasons thereafter-unfortunately this was denied to me and despite the guilt I feel-I refuse to be labelled as a bad mother.

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