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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I don't want to breastfeed.

226 replies

PandaLouise · 22/03/2018 15:01

Hello everyone. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and since finding out I've decided that I don't want to breastfeed. I understand everyone says breast is best and that I might "change my mind" but I'm pretty adamant that I don't want too. Does this make me a bad person? Sad

OP posts:
ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 22/03/2018 20:17

Ultimately it’s upto you and I respect that.

But, it doesn’t have to be for long, even 6 weeks is very beneficial. This is a really good article. Pure facts, not trying to say one is better than the other. Just fact. www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11287212/Breastfeeding-cancer-study-11-myths-busted.html

You can’t ignore the proven health benefits ie reduced rates asthma, excess, even cancer. It has so much in it that cannot be made and added to formula. It really is liquid gold.

If in a few years your child has asthma, or something worse can you live with the fact that you may have been able to do something to reduce the severity of it or even it occurring. I mix fed both my children so I’m not a breast is best loon by the way.

Think about it, don’t completely write it off yet.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 22/03/2018 20:25

I didn't breast feed and both my dcs were thriving babies. No one asks me if i breast fed them (or judge me,) now they're school age. Do what is right for you.

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 20:29

It doesn’t make you a bad person but I think it’s a stupid descison to pay £££ for an inferior product that costs literally pence to produce when you could get it for free if don’t have a medical need too. For me the cost of formula is a feminist issue. In this world would you ever find men being told to pay an extortionate price for a product that’s been free for millennia? No. Oh and then most of your hard earned cash goes straight to the cost of companies marketing formula in countries where it’s a dangerous practice. Mine won’t be a popular opinion on here but people do need to think of the whole picture if they are making a truly informed choice. First steps nutrition trust is a great impartial charity for getting clear info.

Anatidae · 22/03/2018 20:36

Regarding the cancer thing:

The postmenopausal risk is lowered. In the 5-10 years after feeding the risk is actually slightly higher and the distribution of cancers slightly different (more malignant.)

The effects of bf are quite small - it takes very large scale population research to show them. That means that while it’s scientifically correct to recommend it at a public health level, individual factors predominate at the individual level. For each individual child the contribution to risk of say asthma by bf/not will be minor compared to background genetic risk and other factors.

I breastfed my first for 18m so I’m very pro-bf ... IF it’s something you want to do. If you don’t, then don’t. The effect on your child will be absolutely tiny either way.

Lovesagin · 22/03/2018 20:38

Do feminists tell other women their decision over what to do with their body is stupid?

Blaablaablaa · 22/03/2018 20:42

Then don't. It's absolutely your choice.
I didn't and don't regret a thing. If I have another I won't be BF that one either.
Do what is right for you and your family

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 20:46

I’m not saying my own views on ff are feminist or not. The fact that formula pricing is extortion is a feminist issue as it’s a product marketed at women in replace of something they produce for free with the end consumer an infant who has literally no voice. This is why the companies get away with such unethical behaviour. If it was a ‘mans’ issue or product you wouldn’t find this.

liquidrevolution · 22/03/2018 20:47

I didn't bf probably for quite lazy reasons. DD is thriving and we have a lovely bond.

gingergenius · 22/03/2018 20:47

@Rumpledfaceskin have you breastfed?

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 20:51

Yes of course I have and I know it’s bloody hard. I’d like to see a world where formula is reasonably priced and properly regulated and studied scientifically for those who can’t but until that point I’d never personally encourage people to chuck money at highly unethical companies if they don’t have to.

Lovesagin · 22/03/2018 20:56

If it was too cheap people would moan about that too.

I'm no fan of their tactics, but ff is a perfectly fine alternative and I'm glad it's available and isn't outrageously expensive so women don't have to bf if they don't want to, I couldn't think of anything less supportive or more sad than a mum feeling forced into using her body in a way she'd prefer not to.

gingergenius · 22/03/2018 20:59

@Rumpledfaceskin there's no 'of course' about it. But your comments aren't helpful. Because we don't live in utopia and someone might want to use formula, overpriced or not.

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 21:04

Loves but most women in Britain ff anyway after 6 weeks. The high cost doesn’t put people off, they just get royally ripped off. Globally, Formula sales are growing at an astonishing rate. The ‘cost’ of the product isn’t the product, it’s the marketing. It would be lovely if it wasn’t made and sold by money making companies but as that’s unlikely to ever happen. There’s also a serious environmental impact to think about. But I’m talking on global scales. Many individuals won’t care about those issues when making personal choices. I get that.

HarryHarry · 22/03/2018 21:04

reallyanotherone You might be right. A lot of people have said it's such hard work but I really don't see how it's all that different if you have a good electric double pump and a hands free pumping bra. Surely you can feed and pump at the same time? It's very common where I live (not UK). Bear in mind that I say this as someone with absolutely no experience whatsoever so I might be (and probably am) completely wrong but I guess I will learn that the hard way!

Dioskouri · 22/03/2018 21:07

For me the cost of formula is a feminist issue. In this world would you ever find men being told to pay an extortionate price for a product that’s been free for millennia? No.

Don't follow this at all. My husband and I made some babies. He is male. I am female. It is our joint responsibility to feed them and keep them alive. Hmm

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 21:10

Ginger it’s ‘of course’ because I probably wouldn’t be telling someone to try breastfeeding if I hadn’t done it myself. No we don’t live in a utopia but it doesn’t mean people shouldn't consider every aspect of a decision because some of it might make them feel a bit uncomfortable.

Lovesagin · 22/03/2018 21:12

Yea, I know all that Rumple.

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 21:12

Well lucky you Dioskouri. Do you think globally feeding babies and childcare is considered a mans issue?

Mishappening · 22/03/2018 21:14

Either bf or formula feed, but for goodness sake don't pump for every feed. A nightmare! Might as well let the baby pump!

As to the OP, I think you should keep an open mind at this very early stage, secure in the knowledge that you can decide either way as you wish when the time comes.

Dioskouri · 22/03/2018 21:31

Do you think globally feeding babies and childcare is considered a mans issue?

It should be. Men and women make babies.

In any event, as far as I was aware, we were talking about individual choices between breast-feeding and formula feeding. I struggle to see how those choices are in any way a "feminist issue". Save that they involve an individual woman's body and therefore that individual woman's right to choose.

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 21:35

Well it’s clearly not. Over a babies life if you chose to formula feed you will spend 100’s of pounds on a product that costs pennies to produce the proceeds of which will go straight back to marketing the product unethically. How is considering those facts not part of personal choice? It’s part of the whole picture. I like to weigh that up when making a life choice but maybe I’m unusual?

NewDOOFUSfor18 · 22/03/2018 21:53

Why are you all fighting amongst yourselves? The op never asked to be given facts about why bf is better than ff, she has already stated she is aware of them (and let's face it, how can you not be given how it's force fed at every turn when you're pregnant). What she has asked for is support and for her feelings to be validated.

Rumpledfaceskin · 22/03/2018 22:08

You don’t post on an internet forum to validate your feelings and choices surely? The OP is asking a question, posters are going to have varying opinions and are giving their answers accordingly.

BakedBeans47 · 22/03/2018 22:09

cheshiremama89

I did try with my first lasted a week BF and expressing and fucking loathed every second of it. I never really wanted to do it I guess, I just felt pressured into it. Second time round I decided not to even try. I wish I hadn’t bothered the first time either, it wasn’t worth it. Not everyone has the temperament for it and as there’s an alternative I’d rather use that. No I wasn’t BF myself.

BakedBeans47 · 22/03/2018 22:12

And for me the so called “inconvenience”, not to mention the costs were worth it in spades not to have to breastfeed. Not for me.