Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Breastfeeding: How hard can it be?

72 replies

aikigypsy · 04/05/2007 19:41

I'm only about 13 weeks pregnant, but since my 12-week scan I've been starting to think about how I'm going to take care of this little creature when he/she comes out. It seems to me like breastfeeding should be the most natural thing in the world, even if we do have to learn a thing or two to make it work perfectly, but all I hear is how HARD it is. How can it be that hard? How can our species have made it this far without formula and lactation consultants if breastfeeding were such a challenge?

Now I know that there are some women whose nipple shape makes breastfeeding difficult, and others who have not quite enough milk supply, no matter what they do, but honestly, how prevalent are these problems? Does anyone have any statistics on this? I've looked and can't find anything.

Thanks!

OP posts:

dingolimpet · 04/05/2007 19:44

I don't think actual breastfeeding is hard, it's dealing with people and societies attitude towards it, and worrying because everyone is always on at you to FF etc. I think if everyone did it, no questions, there wouldn't be so many problems.

shonaspurtle · 04/05/2007 19:46

Yeah, you'd think...

Some of the problems, imho, are that there is a hell of a lot of misinformation out there, a lot of the "knowledge" that would have been past down between women has been lost, girls don't generally get to see women breastfeeding, the support that would have once been available to women after a birth isn't generally there any more.

I could go on, and on, and on...

But I'm sure someone else will be along who knows more about stats etc.

cathcart · 04/05/2007 19:46

it is not just that though, it can be how your lo responds to you and your nip! Also it bloody hurts at first! it is hard if you do not get any support and if you are not confident. it is also very hard when you are exhausted.

CarGirl · 04/05/2007 19:46

it can be v hard it can b very difficult first time or third time it just depends!!! I'd say reading a 2 or 3 "good" breastfeeding books during the pregnancy can really help dispel misconceptions etc and stand you in good stead should you have a difficult time at the beginning. Also find out about your local breastfeeding clinics, feeding advisors, NCT volunteers - if you do end up needing help these are the people that can help sort you out.

pesme · 04/05/2007 19:46

it can be hard and despite being the most natural thing in the world i would advise reading up about how to make it work and attend any classes your midwife offers.

CarGirl · 04/05/2007 19:47

meant to say it can be very easy.......

belgo · 04/05/2007 19:47

Women used to learn bfing from other women (family members) a lot more then we do now. And there used to be wet nurses, although I'm not sure about the circumstances when they were used.

Some women do find bf easy.

I did a lot of reading, went to two bfing classes, and still found it hard. Fortunately I had great midwives who could help.

I really believed in my own ability to bf (after all, if your body can produce something as complicated as a baby, how difficult can it be to make a few ounces of milk?), so I was shocked at how hard I found it. But perseverence and help got me through it, and I finally succeeded.

MrsBadger · 04/05/2007 19:49

don't fool yourself, it can be damn hard

'Our species made it this far' because until relatively recently we had no choice but to breastfeed or let the baby starve. And of course for millennia everyone who did it had seen their mum, their aunts, their sisters etc do it and by the time they were pregnant themselves had a pretty good idea what was involved. And of course if they did find it hard those mums, aunts and sisters were right on hand to advise and help out.
Less of this is true now.

Tiktok (who is an actual professional bf counsellor) may answer in a slightly more scientific fashion, but I thought it was worth weighing in.

chilledmama · 04/05/2007 19:49

Aikigypsy, BF not hard but can be troublesome (initially) and sometimes you need a little support (emotional). As dingo said, if everyone did it it would be perfectly normal but a lot of people find it more convenient to give in and turn to FF. If you want to BF then you will! and good for you! If you want any info, there are lots of know it alls on here...not me a hasten to add, I'm a novice with 1 DS but have been BFing for almost 7 months now!
Have a good pg

cathcart · 04/05/2007 19:50

yes, it does get easier... after about 3 weeks dd and me were ok.

fannyannie · 04/05/2007 19:50

tricky one - because even in soceities where breastfeeding is still the 'norm' many woman struggle to feed their babies - sadly the idea of "they watches their mothers/aunts/sisters" and "they get lots of support" doesn't often ring true.

My SIL was constantly on the phone to me when she had her DD as none of her female family members (who all breastfed their children) wanted to help her as "It's natural - get on with it" !

Also - wetnurses have been round for a VERY long time - so obviously they didn't all have it easy back then either.

MKG · 04/05/2007 19:51

The one thing that I realized about bfing in my brief two weeks (because yes it was that hard) was that it may a natural thing, but it doesn't come naturally to all mothers or babies. And it is a learning process.
If you are lucky all will fall into place and there will be no problems, if you're not you will struggle and it's hard to think that something that is supposed to be natural doesn't come naturally at all.

CarGirl · 04/05/2007 19:53

also wanted to add that midwives do not necessarily have a lot of knowledge/experience as this is such a specialism. for example some professionals do not recognise that tongue tie can be an issue also so can birth trauma - and I don't mean a bad birth - mine were born quick at the end and they had tightness in the jaw that a cranial osteopath visit sorted out but before that it was very painful etc.....

It really is a complex area and we've lost so much knowledge about it in general society through decades of mainly formula feeding.

rowan1971 · 04/05/2007 19:55

Having struggled for the first 6 weeks or so, I started to enjoy bfing DS1 and fed him for 20 months. Gave birth to his brother four months later and was convinced that this time around, bf-ing would be easy as pie given that I was such a pro. I was amazed that it was just as difficult to get it established the second time around (engorgement and latching difficulties).

It's worth it, of course - or it was for me - but it can definitely be very difficult in the beginning.

pooka · 04/05/2007 19:57

In terms of nuts and bolts, the actually feeding was not hard at all for me. No pain, no soreness and no complications.
However, the godawful tiredness of night feeds with no possibility of the odd night off.... that was hard.
But we got through it, me, dd and ds. And it was fine. And I feel really lucky not to have had the tiredness mixed in with any physical problems.

LucyJu · 04/05/2007 19:58

I used to think exactly the same way as you. When people said things like "I'll try breastfeeding, but if it doesn't work out, I'll use formula", I used to think they were mad and/or stupid. Didn't really bother finding out much about breastfeeding before the birth, because I assumed that it would come easily and naturally - how could it not do?

DD1 was born. Showed no interest in latching on. Fought at the breast every time. Midwives spent hours helping me learn to feed (luckily, I was in a babyfriendly hospital). All the same, within 48 hours, my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I hadn't slept in about 4 nights, taking a long labour followed by emergency C/S into account. Started to think it might not be so easy.

To cut a long story short, I developed thrush (extremely painful condition) followed by a couple of bouts of mastitis. Lost a third of a nipple. Kept going through sheer pig-headedness. It was bloody hard. Still, my search for information to sort my problems (because I was not going to accept that I couldn't do it) did turn me into a staunch pro-breastfeeder. (The more I found out about the disadvantages of not breastfeeeding, the more determined I was to continue. To some extent, I feel that women are conned about the benign nature of formula, but that's another issue).

Anyway, I understand exactly where you are coming from. Maybe you'll be one of those lucky mums who takes to bf like a duck to water.... but maybe not. Remember, breastfeeding is a bit of a lost art in our society, and it is something that has to be learned - by both mother and baby. So, find out as much as you can beforehand - and if it's what you want, then go for it. Good luck!

WriggleJiggle · 04/05/2007 19:58

There are difficult bits to it and also the easy bits. Personally I found the time consuming unable to move around bit hard initially as dd was feeding (as newborns do) so often. There was also a painful stage (when I discovered MN!), but after getting through that there was that fantastic stage where it was just the easiest thing in the world. When it got to that bit I found I could b/f anywhere, and even carry on whilst wandering around the house doing the odd bit of tidying up.
I think some people struggle with it and not receiving the support they need, stop before they reach that glorious easy going stage.

All people are different - when the time comes you may struggle, you may find it easy from day one. If you know where to find help and are surrounded by supportive people it makes such a difference.

hana · 04/05/2007 20:04

if you get a bad latch in the early days it can be really painful - 2 of my 3 had v bad latches in the first few days causing my nipples to bleed - it felt like shards of glass when they fed. excruciating and I would cry everytime it was feeding time. They used to vomit up the blood - awful awful awful. I knew how good it could be (my first was fine) so did perservere with the next two, but really , it can be quite difficult.

megandsoph · 04/05/2007 20:07

Belive me it can be hard!! I Tried with dd1, but had no support or encouragement and it hurt so I just gave up. DD2 I FF straight after birth and then decided to give BF a shot two days later, had a midwife come round and asked for help to be told now that you have FF there is not much point so tried myself when she left as my chebs were filled to the brim but no it killed and I also developed a massive lump in one boob (probs mastitis) and was quite poorly with it, so again gave up. MN wasn't here then . This time however, four years later I have told all of my MW's and also HV that this is the one thing I need to do do with this baby and thankfully have already had 2 Midwifes who have said they will be around at my house once baby is here, every day for however long it takes to make sure I can BF sucessfully.

I think if people are worried that they may have probs to inform their anti natal carers before hand just incase there are problems and also getting as much info prior to birth on the subject.

CorrieDale · 04/05/2007 20:07

I felt the same when I was pg. I remember listening to the midwives at an antenatal class telling us how hard bfing could be, and thinking 'oh it can't be that hard. And I'll be a natural anyway'. Wrong and wrong again!

It took a couple of days to get DS latched on properly, by which time he'd lost nearly 10% of his birthweight, and once we'd cracked latching on, I wasn't able to latch him off for, er, another three months! If I'd been less bloody-minded and if I'd had less support, and if DS had been enthusiastic about the bottle of formula I gave him once 'to help him go longer at night', I might have given up. Then came the blocked nipple leading to a hot, painful, lumpy breast. And I had it easy.

But after that, everything fell into place and it was easy. But I'm still expecting it to be tough when DB arrives in June. Though hopefully not for as long.

cathcart · 04/05/2007 20:07

wow! all hail lucyju! well done you!

cathcart · 04/05/2007 20:09

uh oh! this is turning into a really negative thread about how hard bf is! i know i've added to that but regret now as i don't want to discourage anyone or scare them with our tales! sorry sorry sorry!

LilyLoo · 04/05/2007 20:14

aik i just want to say that i bfed both my dc's and found it easy with both of them.
Although my friend found the first few weeks difficult, soreness etc but perseverd and still feeds ds whose two in October. I also have friend who found it a nightmare and perseverd but hated every minute and gave up. I think it's a bit like trying to plan the birth unitl it happens you can't really know as each dc and mother is different.

shonaspurtle · 04/05/2007 20:17

Well I firmly believe that there's no point in pretending it will be easy (although for some people it really is ) and it's best to tell it like it is, as long as that's done in a positive way which imo this thread does.

ie, there are some tales of hard starts here but most of them ended in success. The key is prepare yourself, get information and try and organise a support network - help so that you can concentrate on you and baby in those early weeks, expert support from a bf councillor/helplines/mumsnet etc incase you do have problems.

We had a very tough start, but 5 months on it's great. Really easy, really convenient, definitely worth the hard times.

whomovedmychocolate · 04/05/2007 20:18

Okay, to start with, your baby doesn't know how to feed and you have some theoretical knowledge. So it can be hard to start with. You need advice and lots of it and you should keep asking until you get it. Then get some more.

Breastfeeding is tiring and it can become a pain in the butt if, like me, you leak milk a lot.

However, it's a lot less faff than dealing with bottles, and it makes your bum smaller and it reduces your risks of cancer and it's much easier to nip out with your child if you are bfing.

You will also meet other bfing mums and get lots of support and advice and it's more common than you think.

Flip

1 2 3