Breastfeeding: How hard can it be?

[aikigypsy]

I'm only about 13 weeks pregnant, but since my 12-week scan I've been starting to think about how I'm going to take care of this little creature when he/she comes out. It seems to me like breastfeeding should be the most natural thing in the world, even if we do have to learn a thing or two to make it work perfectly, but all I hear is how HARD it is. How can it be that hard? How can our species have made it this far without formula and lactation consultants if breastfeeding were such a challenge?

Now I know that there are some women whose nipple shape makes breastfeeding difficult, and others who have not quite enough milk supply, no matter what they do, but honestly, how prevalent are these problems? Does anyone have any statistics on this? I've looked and can't find anything.

Thanks!

actually I don't think it's a bad thing to tell the truth about breastfeeding - and that is - yes it IS wonderful once you've got it established - but for some women it's hard getting there. I think a painting a picture of it being easy and natural and perfect from the start only leads to more women quitting as it can come as a massive shock to them if they are one of the ones that finds it tough going to start with.

and there is, IMO, nothing to beat looking down at your baby sucking away contentedly, while you feel as though there's only the two of you in the world and you can't help crying a little for sheer joy, even though it puts the baby off his stroke a bit.

I just think that BFing is a really positive thing to do. I know that Formula is there if it doesn't suit but honestly there are much worse things inlife than BFing! Granted sometimes people have problems..apparently everyone on this thread! but you'd have to mad not to give it a go!
The only downside I can see is that, for me anyway, you still have to watch what you eat...sometimes better at that than other times [lifts full glass of red wine towards lips]

i did find bf'ing easy (possibly due to blind ignorance) after a 48hr labour mw said do you want to try .. i was so zonked i blinked and ds was like a heat seeking missile.. i think he was the duck to water.. not me

i do acknowledge the fact i am very lucky in that respect and bow down to those who have struggled blood sweat and tears

agree shona, just thought my 1st post came across as v. negative when i re-read it and really didn't want to give that impression -sorry no capitals/punctuation - bf as i type!

corrie that is the best feeling!
v.positive now - see!

Yeah - a big plus point of bf, you have hands free so you can mn at the same time

i guess it is a different experience for most people. i was determined to bf and i did for 11 mths, but the first 7 mths were extremely painful and difficult. i read books, spoke to people etc. but tbh, the most helpful thing that anyone said was someone 'unqualified' who i met when still pregnant.

she said: EVEN IF YOU ARE DOING IT CORRECTLY, IT CAN STILL HURT.

if i were you i would take it as it comes and don't expect it to be easy. it rarely is, in fact i don't anyone who found it easy in the first few weeks.

shona - love your john irving and music appreciation! and your ds cheeky little smile!

ahh now Shona that's where I beg to differ - I breastfed DS1 and bottlefed DS2.........and managed to MN/use the internet while doing both (not at the same time I hasten to add ) - mind you there is a knack to balancing baby and bottle safely in your arms so you can still use your hands LOL.

Fair point fa - talented lady!

I thank you cathcart!

fa - i have just bf, mn, had a phone convo and eaten a bar of choc all at the same time- i think that must mean i now find bf easy!

but breastfeeding and MNing is definitely easier.

Don't know if this has been posted already but aside from getting the latch right I think one of the hardest things is your expectations. I don't think women are adequately prepared for the sheer amount of feeding you have to do in the early days - just sitting there with your breast out most of the time and getting little else done. And of course you are basically on your own doing it. It is the most amazing thing once you get past the establishment phase but it is hard work at first. I found BF dd2 so much easier at the beginning than dd1 because I knew what to expect.

yes the time factor is definately a shock! You can feel a bit stranded at first cos you are stuck to the sofa all the time! (until you find mn of course then you are stuck to the chair in front of the pooter! )

Thanks everyone! Wow, that was a lot of comments, and fast! I have a friend who is a LaLeche League leader who will talk my ear off if I give her a chance, but I find that she's so focused on the negatives (and the all-important work that she's doing) that I stop listening and can't get a word in edgewise.

I'm pretty determined to bf, because I already have these enormous udder-like boobs and I figure they've got to be good for something! (Other than getting brainless looks from random men on the street, that is).

well you can get your revenge if you have problems by phoning her day and night to come around and get db latched on painlessly until db has learnt to do it himself!

I've done FF for one since birth and bf for the others and despite lots of problems with one of them the bf was so worth it, much less hassle etc.

We are blessed to have four children. I did successfully establish feeding with all four but our first was a challenge and our fourth would have been impossible without MN and the fact that I had breastfed the other three.

Every baby is different. Maintain a positive outlook, expect the best but be realistic. I wish you every happiness and as someone already pointed out MN is an amazing place to ask BF questions especially if the going gets rough.

A, just make sure you get loads of support, that's all. Real support in the shape of someone who knows how to support a mother to bf.

It can be very very difficult, even when you more about BF than most HV's / midwives (not hard) but also please read some decent books about it (I liked Bestfeeding, but I'm sure others will also have their fave recommendations). Just so you know, I bf my first baby (it took 9 weeks to establish BF properly) but not my second because it was just too bloody hard 2nd time round. That's how hard it can be - even if you've gone through it all once, you still might not have the necessary support, energy etc. to do it again. But if you are determined and have decent support, you can, and you will be proud of yourself for having done it and have given your baby the best start s/he can have.

Good luck

Oh, meant to say, don't be surprised if you spend the first few weeks just sitting there trying to establish BF. One of the great shocks of being a new mother for me, was that I literally spent most of my time trying to feed my DS. I'd sort of expected to feed for half an hour, then do my make up, do the housework, rustle up a Thai stirfry, do a bit of writing, go to a museum with baby in sling, etc. Instead I just sat there for about 18 hours a day trying to feed. I thought this was unusual. It's not. Had I known it was normal, I would have been able to cope with it better.

i thought that too giant, didn't realise that a 'half an hour feed' for a newborn that keeps falling asleep on the job can take an hour and a half of stopping ans starting plus winding!

My lo is almost 7 weeks and (fingers firmly crossed) bfing seems to be going well after some initial worries. However, I know lots of people who bfd only very briefly or not at all, mainly due to lack of support and encouragement as far as i can see. I think you need to have confidence in your body and your ability to succeed, whilst accepting that it's bloody hard and stressful at first. Don't expect it to be a doddle and you'll probably be nicely suprised. It's the heavy responsibility that most worries me - only i can feed him, especially as he is steadfastly refusing bottles at the minute!! And yes, the broken nights are HARD especially straight after the birth.

But also remember that the broken nights don't get any easier if you move to formula

With DD, when I moved to formula after 2 weeks I thought my life would be easier and it would be quicker to feed her. Not a chance. Had I known, I'd have persevered a bit longer.

Thing is, pre-formula:

a) babies died. A lot more than they do now.

b) people wet-nursed somewhat recreationally. Certainly it would be normal for the maternal grandmother to wetnurse a bit, and other family members would help out if they could. Actually, based on v anecdotal evidence (accounts from some female traveller, in a paper recently), some cultures expect random women to breastfeed whatever baby is handed to them.

Don't forget, people post here if they are having problems. No-one starts a thread, "things going really well"! So this can give a distorted picture. I haven't had any problems. I don't even really understand what "latch" means, I just wave my nipple at her and she sucks! All the technical bits matter if things are not working out, but otherwise don't worry. The fabulous news is that if you do experience difficulties there is Mumsnet, and bf councellors to call upon. Congratulations on your pregnancy, that 12 week scan really makes it all seem real doesn't it!