Another article about how awful breastfeeding is, this time in a feminist publication

[Caligula]

I thought some of you would like to read this.

This misinformation bugged me:

"Times change though, and the formulas on the market are hopefully as close to what comes out of your boob, as they will ever be".

Wonder what the rest of you think

the new breastfeeding taboo

ach, don't worry goodasgold.

hang on... you were answering me?

i have no idea what you are advocating. i never went to a health visitor clinic once. that is not the issue AT ALL.

Sorry Aitch I keep getting your name wrong AND I am projecting my concerns on to other people. My problem not yours, I can see that is not where you are coming from.
I really don't think that you should feel bad.

i don't particularly, not now. but if you completely subscribe to teh breastfeeding benefits (as i do) and are completely committed to bfing (as i was) then there is bound to be a massive emotional fall-out if your body/ your circumstances/ your mental health/your lack of support mean that you never crack it. to be honest i'm always amazed that this has to be pointed out to people. being a ffer and still be massively pro-bfing takes quite an adjustment in your head.

It is ourselves that are driving us, but we are also surrounded with the 'breast is best' literature. Which it is, and that's all fine, and if more mothers were persuaded to bf then that's a good thing, but it's the incosistency of the message which annoys me. On the one hand we're bombarded with how important it is, on the other we're not given the support (unless we're very lucky like I was) to do it when it doesn't just happen. Everyone I know was given the impression that it just happened naturally, and no-one I know found it easy. So we feel guilty because we think that we have failed, but we're not always given the opportunity to succeed!

Btw, my NCT group were amazing support for one another, and so were the NCT breastfeeding counsellors. But obviously not everyone has access to that.

mainlymayday the reason the article bothered me was not because she is stating her view, it is because she is spreading misinformatiobn about breastfeeding.

And if she puts one woman off because of it, that is a Bad Thing, imo.

To say your dh went into a depression because he couldn't help with feeding the baby is like saying I'm depressed because I can't pee standing up.

Actually, there are plenty of things dhs can do to help, from housework to playing with baby. Dh is the parent who does not smell of milk. Dh can still have skin to skin contact. He can ring the bf counsellor, protect mother from intrusive callers, or encourage callers, as required. He take the baby after a bad night while mother has some sleep. What's the point in your both being up all night? Or if he's back to work he can carry on bringing home the bacon - some one's got to do it, and personally I'd rather not have to think about that while feeding a small baby.

I thought it was very moving.

She plainly says that "breast milk is the best and I thought that "Times change though, and the formulas on the market are hopefully as close to what comes out of your boob, as they will ever be" was well qualified by 'hopefully' and that it was an opinion not a fact.

I also wish the official breastfeeding lobby would stop with the slogan 'it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right'. It just isn?t true.

I breastfed for a year and both me and DS loved it (most of the time) but it fucking hurt - a lot sometimes. Nipples are going to be sore as they are acclimatised to being manically sucked for hours every day.

Are they scared women will be scared off breastfeeding? They won?t be scared off in the same way women aren?t scared off giving birth.

Elasicwoman - You said "To say your dh went into a depression because he couldn't help with feeding the baby is like saying I'm depressed because I can't pee standing up." Why oh why do these issues continue to be so difficult to understand? What a ridiculous comparison to make! Pitchounette clearly had a very difficult and painful time with breastfeeding, as did I. Her husband found it traumatic because he couldn't take her pain away or help her out by doing some of the feeds himself. Surely that's pretty obvious.

Goodasgold - I too don't understand what this thing is with the HV. My HV was very supportive, kept telling me I deserved a medal for battling on, etc.etc. But it wouldn't have mattered at all what she said. I was desperate to b/f my DS because I believed it was the best thing for him. What anyone else thinks, who is not going through the agony, is frankly fairly irrelevant.

ElasTicwoman I meant.

Twinklemegan, I know what you are saying, and it's a shame that women tend to blame themselfs when really it is down to the society we live in...yes, BF is the natural thing to do, but, nowdays it needs to be learned more then ever, because we tend to not grow up around it, and our society in general seems to have forgotten a bit of what "normal" Newborn/Baby behaviour actually is and therefore mums are made to feel insecure, etc...it's a real shame.
But looking at system in say scandinavian countries where bf is the norm and only people who truely can NOT breastfeed get formula perscribed, you don't hear the...I couldn't because of this and that at all, because the support by people around is so much better, because everyone knows what to do, and people have different expectations of what a bf baby feeding pattern and sleeping pattern is.

Very interesting. I agree that she is coming out with some wrong factual information but she has a right to write about her experience.

It would be nice if she got some constructive comments and feedback. She was initially very upset that she couldn't breast feed her baby and hugely disappointed.

Anyway I guess, in short, I am saying that it is good that people are sharing their experiences both good and bad to get more issues into the open and further collective knowledge of breast feeding.

For what it's worth 3andnomore, I think the same system should probably apply in this country as in Scandinavia. I trust that they take the mother's state of mind into account as well as purely physical issues. I agree that many b/f problems could and should be solved by better support. Perhaps even mine - certainly if my DS's tongue tie had been diagnosed and snipped I believe things would have been a whole lot easier. But it is simplistic to suggest as some people do (not implying that you are) that the root of all b/f problems is the availability of formula/ lack of support from society as a whole.

well, but lack of support and the way society thinks does play a major role! Another major factor seems to be the feeling about boobs...i.e. sexualised objects....and the free availability of formula probably isn't helpful, neither is the fact that good bf support is timeconsuming, so, hp's find it easier to suggest to switch to formula, I suppose!
But, yeah, there are lots of reasons why there is such a low bf rate.

Oh I agree 3andnomore. It's just that I'm not sure it was a hugely significant issue in my particular case, and I'm sure there are many others like me. I'd have ended up using formula even if it'd had to be prescribed, I'm sure.

yes, with tonguetie there is often not anything you can do....and of course there are reasons why bf just will nto be possible, and well, I know it's easier said then done, but I wish mums then would not feel guilty about it, because, well, tis out of their hands really....thing is, I suppose, in scandinavian countries bf isn't really discussed, it's just what people do and maybe then there isn't so much emotion about it when you can't...but I don't know if that is so, or not.
I suppose as mums we are almost conditioned to feel guilt, for the way we feed, the way we give Birth, whatever we do in pg or once we are mothers, really, sigh....and women fall easily victim to that because of teh emotions, the hormones, the tiredness and the being non stop confronted with it, etc...

i don't think you can win either way, i used to get comments like "you're not still breastfeeding are you"

Yes I think you're right 3andnomore. I suppose there's a tendency in this country to tar all women who don't b/f with the same brush i.e. couldn't be bothered perservering, which makes those of us who tried their damndest feel even worse.

yes but hearing those comments you can steel yourself by thinking 'i am providing the very best food for my child'. when someone says 'i see you are using formula' your toes curl up with shame... i really mean it. DH used to be the only one who could bear to buy the formula in the beginning.

Monkey - "official breastfeeding lobby" ???hmmm - very tactful - they usually call us the breastfeeding or boob mafia on these threads - glad you have come up with something more pc

what does an official breastfeeding "lobby" look like (is it like those private heathrow lobbies for businessmen ?) does it have sofas shaped like boobs ?

That's cos I have no wish to be offensive , there's just no need for it, is there?

I just mean people attached to professional bodies, not the mums themselves. Like I said I breastfed for a year, was doing it properly but sometimes it was painful. I don't think lying about this helps in the long run, is all.