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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Another article about how awful breastfeeding is, this time in a feminist publication

560 replies

Caligula · 10/01/2007 15:06

I thought some of you would like to read this.

This misinformation bugged me:

"Times change though, and the formulas on the market are hopefully as close to what comes out of your boob, as they will ever be".

Wonder what the rest of you think

the new breastfeeding taboo

OP posts:
hercules1 · 14/01/2007 12:02

calmontheoutside - if that had been my husband I would have been livid. Doctors receive very little training about breastfeeding.

calmontheoutside · 14/01/2007 12:27

Hercules1 - This was after 6 very bad weeks, involving her crying through every feed. I think they both just breathed a sigh of relief.

calmontheoutside · 14/01/2007 12:30

She had also done her research, and is a very practical person. They just couldn't go on with it.

MummyPossum · 14/01/2007 15:07

Message withdrawn

Pitchounette · 14/01/2007 15:07

Message withdrawn

Pitchounette · 14/01/2007 15:08

Message withdrawn

hercules1 · 14/01/2007 15:10

I knew no better with ds but if someone had given dd formula without my permission I'd have been livid now knowing so much more. Personally, for me, it would have to be a joint decision

calmontheoutside · 14/01/2007 16:45

Sorry, I was misunderstood - it was with her permission. Both mother and baby were crying, yet again...

hercules1 · 14/01/2007 17:15

Very different then

Jennylee · 14/01/2007 17:31

I think it can be painful even if you are doing it right but for me this passed after a few weeks, and after 13 weeks my ds settled into it and it was easy an d fine for the rest of the time and i did it for a year untill the biting started. i think this woman suffreed to much and did what was right for her but it is not true that everyone who does it hates it, I did not like the pain but was determined to do it and the paain passed off eventually and then it was easy convenient an dthe best thing, and even though the biting got me to stop on a negative note i would do it again with a 2nd baby and a t least knwo the pain passes now and the baby does eventually settle, but she was right the helath visitors and midwives tell you it won't hurt at all , but once you are starting it and complain that it hirts they smile smugly and say 'oh just curl your toes,' or bite your lip, that helps you cope with the pain' which would unsettles anyone, I think thye should tell you it might hurt or it might not and hwat can happen...the truth. but the article writer should nto generalise so much, but I see her point

Jennylee · 14/01/2007 17:34

had no guilt about the bottles at 12 months old though, the biting lasted very long and was bloody, so we got formula and it was fine.it ds had not bitten me so much i would have done it untill he wanted to wean, but after a year I did not feel like flailing myself with guilt over the bottles and no one should

mears · 14/01/2007 17:41

The author of this article obviously had a lot going against her successfully establishing breastfeeding and her experience was very damaging for her. It is a shame that she has decided she will not breastfeed again.

Personally I LOVED breastfeeding - despite the painful first week and scabbed nipples etc. I KNEW it would work and there was no way my baby would be getting formula milk. That was my own personal stance.

When DD1 (baby no.4 ) was admitted to SCBU - the midwife said "and it will be OK for her have formula" - I said "no it will not!" She actually was on a drip (needed exchange transfusions because of blood antibody problems) and wasn't getting milk anyway. I expressed in the meantime.

It was extremely important to me that my babies dod not get formula milk at all. I remembered the times years ago that breastfed babies were given formula in the hospital nurseries without the mothers' knowledge and then they wondered why breastfeeding failed. They had no milk because their babies did not demand to be fed because they were full of formula.

It is extremely rare for a woman not to be able to produce enough milk for her baby. Unfortunately it is common for women to believe they can't breastfeed their baby because they haven't been given appropriate help and support by the 'professionals' who are sadly lacking.

mainlymayday · 14/01/2007 21:55

I find we are still debating the benefits of bf and concluding that if mothers don't bf they either don't understand the benefits, are deluded or selfish.

My point (as a bf-er) is that all this judgemental stuff is a bit odd - you don't get this much opinion on any other subject. And on the topic of the original post - why does it bother you what this woman does? She's just explaining how she feels. I empathise with her though am doing differently myself.

I wouldn't appreciate a thread saying I was selfish or deluded for not managing to be a SAHM or for not doing baby massage every day. I just think the cause of bf would actually benefit from less judgementalism (if that is a word).

3andnomore · 14/01/2007 22:06

hm......but why is this such a sore point? Why do mums feel so easily criticised?
With es I started out breastfeeding and thought it was just the only way to feed a Baby. I just never considered Bottlefeeding whatsoever, and I was lucky, he latched on well, and so on...but I was leaking so much, it was truely emberassing...and was adviced to stop bf...also he was chucking up loads and again the advice was to stop bf, as obviously i had to much milk and a to fast let down...only those 2 points were never explained nor actually adviced on, i.e. what i could do to cfhange thing, it was a matter of either putting up with it and being made feel badly or stopping, I stopped, reflux in this ds was for the longest time, he was a good 15 befgore he stopped, and walking well, etc....but yeah, after serious pain the leaking and milk stopped.
When expecting ms, I was on teh Internet, and info was easier available and I learned a fair few things and with teh support of some BF boards I worked thorugh it, funny enough, ms was a nightmare to feed at first, not latching on right, etc...also had a fair bouts of thrush with him, and some very painful experiences through this, but, because I knew how much I hated Bottlefeeding ( as it was such a haslle and am such a lazy person by nature)I persevered and never regretted it.
With ds 3, thank god I knew all that I did, otherwise I would have ended upi bottlefeeding early days, the support was rubbish as soon as the tiniest prob occured, even when people stated they wanted to bf and were sure of this, there was such a discouragement and wrong expectation of Baby's that they could encourage most people...not me though...I knew that it would be more difficult after the C0section I had this time, and put him on whenever he was just awake, but got many comments by the staff about him being on yet again...grr....bf that one the longest....

3andnomore · 14/01/2007 22:07

oh, meant to add. the only time i get touchy about a subject is, when I don't feel confident in my decision.

Twinklemegan · 14/01/2007 22:10

3andnomore - I think it's such a sore point because it means so damned much. I know I saw it as a gauge of how good a mother I was (when in the depths of despair) - can't EVEN manage to breastfeed equalled cr*p mother! And when DS wouldn't latch on and struggled like hell I felt like he was rejecting me. Those feelings stay with you I think, even when you start thinking more rationally. At the end of the day we are women and are designed to be able to feed our children. It is a huge shock to the system when it doesn't work out.

yellowrose · 14/01/2007 22:12

I am coming back to this thead after a house move...wow...it's as long as I thought it would be.

If anyone here is genuinely interested in FEMINIST literature, read Gabriel Palmer's The Politics of Breastfeeding. I think it is the most intelligent piece of work I have ever read about bf.

Twinklemegan · 14/01/2007 22:14

For many of us it wasn't our decision - the choice was taken away from us, sometimes it seems by our own bodies. Hence the terrible guilt and feelings of inadequacy. By contrast, I've weaned my DS a bit early for various reasons. I've read the guidance and the various threads on MN, but I'm still confident I've done the right thing for us so I don't feel in the least bit guilty. Because it was truly MY decision.

AitchTwoOh · 14/01/2007 22:26

i think that was the key point for me too, twinkle. you feel that you and your body have let the baby down and that you are feeding him or her substandard food during those first precious months, so you feel guilty. that's not too hard to understand, surely?

Twinklemegan · 14/01/2007 22:39

You wouldn't think so Aitch, but all these threads say differently methinks!

Goodasgold · 14/01/2007 23:08

Well I think if we avoided the hv we wouldn't get so upset by their advice. Many of them have not had first hand bfing experience.
As women we care too much about what other women think, if we did this a little less we might find ourselves relaxing with our new born babies and doing what comes naturally.
Which is BFing, maybe it's not easy to begin with, but who really has had the support from a health professional that has made a difference.
I hope you see what I mean.

Twinklemegan · 14/01/2007 23:09

No Goodasgold - I don't care two hoots what other women think of me. It's what I think of me that's sometimes the problem.

AitchTwoOh · 14/01/2007 23:27

exactly, twinkle. we care, ffs, because we feel like we are letting our child down, not some random woman in a health centre. because thanks to our useless tits they will be stupider, sicker and fatter. or have i read the literature wrong?

Goodasgold · 14/01/2007 23:29

So why not avoid the stupid woman in the health centre?
She is not really providing help or support.

Goodasgold · 14/01/2007 23:35

Sorry H2007.