HOW DO YOU FEED A 7 YEAR OLD???...................EXTENDED BREAST FEEDING.............

[RTKangaMummy]

CH 4

TONIGHT

11.00

It is a repeat but thought some people may have missed it 1st time round

.

Mercy - Misdee means that the program has started now- on Ch 4

now do you seriously think that looked normal ????????

A child almost 8 years old breastfeeding on demand !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"looked normal"?

Are you serious?

I mean imho it is seriously Weird !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's unusual.

Does it matter what's normal? One of the nice things about the English has always been our eccentricity and our ability to be different. People differ. I was brought up in a home where parents were happy to be seen nude (not all the time - not nudists) but we have no hangups over that and it's the same here. Others think the naked body is disgusting. Some people have hangups over sucking breasts. Others over sex. I like to live in a country which tolerates differences within reason. Some differences I think are just objectively wrong - we ban female circumcism and I'm glad we do. Breastfeeding to whatever age people want is fine.

IMHO the 8 year old is way too old

I can't believe that people on here think it is ok?

I don't have a problem with the ones up to 5 years

BUT at 8 years is way tooooooooo old IMHO anyway

I don't have a problem with nudity

I just wonder what signals if gives those girls

What if when they have children they can't breastfeed for a medical reason - they will feel like failures and they will think other mothers who don't BF are in the wrong

Actually I don't even know why I am posting on this

I don't really care in RL what other people do with their children

so am going now

I thought the twins falling asleep on the breat was absolutely beautiful. Dp and I had a good discussion on this programme. His attitude is that as long as mum and child want to then, then what the harm.. most natural thing in the world.

I had to stop bf when ds was 12 months. I wish I had been ale to continue to when he was ready to stop.

If we are blesed with another child I will bf again for as long as my child wishes. I am not sure that I would throughout the day as they get older and busier but bedtime still.

As with all doc's they show extrmees, but still think brill programme.

"bottle feeding is a huge part of a child's life and its relationship with its mother just as breastfeeding is"

Well I have not got a huge amount of experience of this Mercy, as I have not bottlefed my own child, only other people's, but I would say from my own observations that past the age of 2 or so:

Children are not bottle fed on demand, but at set times

A bottle is not normally offered as comfort if the child is upset or hurt

Different people often make up and give the bottle

The child is not always (this varies of course) given the bottle by an adult, they often sit alone holding the bottle or walk around with it. A bottle is often given for the child to fall asleep with and the adult is not even in the room

There is not usually skin to skin contact with the adult giving the bottle.

This seems to me to be really quite different from my own experience of breastfeeding a toddler and I feel these differences mean that giving up the bottle is not the same as giving up breastfeeding.

I wouldn't presume to tell someone when their child should stop feeding, either way. But I think it muddies the argument to say that breastfeeding and bottle feeding are the same. They aren't.

And Kanga I am completely confused by what you are saying:

do you mean that we shouldn't breastfeed our children in case it makes them feel inadequate later if they don't breastfeed? I really can't make any other sense of what you mean.

Agree totally that kids should bf for as long as they like etc and what people do in their own homes is their own business and also, i think the program made it abundantly clear (with Chinese adoptee) that you cannot force a child to breastfeed.

But

This program pisses me off. I saw it last time. It is taking a few rather atypical breastfeeders when what is desperately needed is a program to normalise early and mildly extended bf.

IMO

Because, basically, if you make it past a year I reckon you've got to be pretty confident you're doing the right thing.

I think this program, especailly the vox pops, risked putting women off bf at all

Oh also, can't quite remember, is this the one with the lovely woman whith the long hair and a photogenic daughter, who was setting up some sort of support group? Cos she ws great generally but the calender was sailing a bit close to the wind, I felt.

Message withdrawn

Sorry, I am going to be one of the people I love to hate on MN and not actually read the whole debate here, but I would love to know if all you pro-breastfeeding-as-long-as-you-like folk would not have a problem with a 49 year old person still going to his/her mother for a comfort breastfeed?

Oh and VVVQV I will respect anything you tell me to resepct, when you too show me respect!

Oh dumbleGirl, that post just conjured up an image of a sketch done on Little Britain and "Bitty"

Well, we must be unusual because we did/do most of the things on Franny's list - beyond 2 years old that is.

Oh unintentionally, I assure you. I have never watched Little Britain (well beyond one minute in which graphic vomiting was shown).

I still ask the question though.

Funnily enough I quite liked aspects of this programme. I thought the girl with the Little Angels breastfeeders or whoever they were, were fantastic.
However, I do find BF enormous children a bit bizarre. I don't honestly think that it is particularly normal or accepted for any part of the world or any era of human history.

Assuming his mother is still lactating past her menopause...its up to them, isnt it DG? Why should it bother me what other people do if it doesnt affect me, or others and it is not illegal?

The respect thing goes both ways. If you pass comment about something that is an indirect criticism of something I do, what makes you think I should respect that? If you dont want to do it - then I respect that. To say that seeing someone else doing it offends you - that is not fine and not respectful, IMVHO.

I liked someone's comment about how nice it is, once your child is weaned, to be able to comfort them and 'keep my lingerie on'

nice turn of phrase...

I was a VERY reluctant bottle feeder (was unwell after traumatic birth, long story, won't bore with it) so I feel like a breastfeeder in a bottlefeeder's body I totally support it and still regret that I didn't do it, even though DS is now in Reception year!

Each child and family to their own, I say, and I agree with Franny that it seems common sense that children will wean in their own time, given the opportunity.

With this programme though it did seem to me that the reason this family with the 7 yr old bfer were able to carry on with this very extended bfing, was because the girls were home schooled and therefore their lives were by definition more contained and private than if the girls were in a school of hundreds of kids.

I wondered about the girls' ability to operate as individuals and whether the mum is supporting this. Being mum and educator and breastfeeder is giving herself a HUGE presence in their lives; which if a loving and nurturing parent then prob not a terrible thing; but it was just a thought that occurred to me with this particular family.

Programme of course NOT helpful to focus on more unusual scenarios like this, irresponsible piece of tv really, if it affects people's concept of extended bfing. Good luck to all those doing it, I say.

Mercy I think you are unusual, yes, if bottle feeding has carried on being a bonding / intimate type experience for you after your children are 2. This is not the case for most families at all, and it would alter my opinion about bottlefeeding being almost purely nutritional / habit in your case.

and yes, I certainly never meant to give the impression that bottlefeeding is not greatly tied up with love and nurturing when a child is younger - I am talking about older toddlers and preschoolers weaning from the bottle here.

DG we are talking about children being breastfed. A ten year old is a child. A 49 year old is not. I believe breastfeeding is entirely natural up until puberty, if both the mother and child want to continue. I wouldn't feel comfortable about a breastfeeding situation after a child reached adolescence. I think you are being slightly ridiculous here if you are feigning not to see the difference between a 10 year old and a 49 year old.

Oh I also wanted to say I don't personally use breastfeeding as a form of comfort now my son is 3.5. There are other ways and I have drifted into using those instead, without making a conscious decision to stop doing it. That's not to say I wouldn't offer it if he was extremely upset and I thought it would help. But at the moment it is just something ds asks for when he is tired at the end of the day and is nearly ready to fall asleep. It's a fantastic way for us both to relax and enjoy being together at the end of the day - even though it normally only lasts a few minutes.

So puberty is taken as an accepted cut-off?

I would have no desire to prematurely cut off a child's source of comfort, but have to say that I would view it as abnormal/emotionally unhealthy for mother and child to be encouraging a form of comfort which is so dependent on an other person for so long. Surely 10 yearolds would have to self-comfort when at school say, or absent from parents?