HOW DO YOU FEED A 7 YEAR OLD???...................EXTENDED BREAST FEEDING.............

[RTKangaMummy]

CH 4

TONIGHT

11.00

It is a repeat but thought some people may have missed it 1st time round

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Oh, HairyMc, let me have it again

But does hte same criteria apply to toddlers or older children who still like to be bottle-fed?

Ime, not. It's deemed to be 'more' natural for an older child (beyond 2) to be breastfed but not acceptable for a bottle-feeder.

Mercy - TBH I hate the term "extended" . On its own it implies that there is an age where it becomes unacceptable, thereby perpetuating the arguments about what is & isnt normal. IMO there shouldnt be a cut off age because there isnt anything wrong or dangerous about bfing. I cant really speak about bottlefeeding because I havent done that since DS was a month old so have no experience of doing it longterm, but I would guess that the arguments about cut off ages should be the same as bfing. It would, I think, serve a comfort as well as a nutritional purpose...but maybe the possible dental problems long-term bottle use can cause might quash some of these benefits.

Well, Mercy, bottle feeding is more to do purely with nutrition and habit at that age, whereas breastfeeding is just this huge part of a child's life and intricately tied in with the relationship with the mother. There is an element of comfort with bottlefeeding of course, as with any sucking activity, but the emotional issues of giving up a bottle and giving up breastfeeding are not really comparable.

terramum , I agree re the word extended. I just know a handful of children who had a comfort bottle after the age of 5 (after school, at bedtime etc) but it was hush-hush. No doubt plenty of children were breastfed for similar reasons.

Now let's talk about thumb-sucking!

Sorry Franny, but that's not true.

I haven't got a problem with a child having a comfort bottle until they feel they need to give it up, personally

I think you would have to be careful about dental hygiene but that's another thread

Why do we rush to force them into giving up comforting things before they are ready? It seems to make us uncomfortable to see children with comfort objects or engaged in comforting activities. Yet we are happy to sit in a pub all night watching adults slurping down alcohol and cigarettes to soothe their own emotional needs

Which part do you think is not true, Mercy?

It's good we live in a country where we have these options. We've always allowed for differences in how people bring up their children and lead their lives even if we don't agree with them. I am not happy with some of the things Blair has done to make us all the same but I am sure some of those can be undone.

I suspect breastfeeding at age 7 is a little better for children than being shipped off to boarding school at that age, an English tradition. My father as a child was shown that old photograph of an African boy aged 7 smoking a cigar in one hand and feeding from his mother's breast at the same time.

I am off to bed actually but will check thread in the morning

thanks meanwhile for an interesting debate

I don't have a problem with a child having a bottle till they want to stop either.

I think most people who have a problem with extended bottlefeeding (for want of a better phrase!) usually have problems with extended breastfeeding too.

It's, as Franny says, more about feeling quivery about allowing children to self-wean from their comfort objects/habits (although the more you push them too, often the clingier they are to those habits).

"The problem with saying this is people who don't know anything about extended bfeeding go "oh yeah, but how about if your DS is still bfeeding when he's 18 and he has a fag in the other hand" which only serves to mark them out as somebody who is stoopid, I'm afraid"

Had to laugh at Hunker's comment as I often have visions of ds doing this. Am sure he will stop sometime before then...

the bottle thing is irrelevant I think because it's actually the BREASTS that people have the problem with.
imagine you give your baby some boiled water to drink. would you stop that when s/he reached 6 months? a year? 2 years? of course not.

it isn't a problem with the fact they're having milk. it's the fact that it comes from a breast.

so get over it already. that's what they're for

OK, bottle feeding is a huge part of a child's life and its relationship with its mother just as breastfeeding is. There are emotional issues in giving up a bottle. Although I agree it's mainly from the child's pov. It's not just about nutrition.

That's the bit I disagree with.

I know I parped.......

But - its not the semantics that offend me - its the sentiment behind it. Phrase it however you like - your easily offended sensibilities offend me, because its an indirect criticism. You have to respect that.

Who do you mean VVV?

I have no views one way or the other (except for F's last post)

DG, Mercy

Message withdrawn

You are quite right pruni, of course but it's an emotive issue and we all like to air our own opinions!

As far as the comfort thing goes, surely the nature of comforting has to change as a child grows? Whether that's BF, sharing a bath, a massage etc.
My dds love a massage and have since they were babies, but I would be concerned if they still asked for one after a bath when they're ten?

Anyway going to bed.bfn

its started now btw!

Am totally confused now.

you wouldn't give your 10 yr old a massage if it comforted and relaxed them?
why on earth not?

I quite like getting a relaxing massage after a bath before I go to bed (not that I get one v often )...but then I am a 32 year old wierdo who still sucks her thumb for comfort occasionally

!misdee!

I think a few crossed wires tonight (she said hopefully). I'm orf to bed to. Sleep well.x

I confess, I too am a freak who enjoys things of comfort. drinks that I enjoy, being close to people I like.
still, we shouldn't pander to our children and allow them to have these things. it will only make them erm, well, erm, what exactly will it do to them again?