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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Bottle Feeding

117 replies

riab · 06/11/2006 10:57

In support of parents who bottle feed their child.

Why do Parents bottle feed?
Every Parent should have a choice of how they wish to feed their baby, however there are some circumstances in which parents unfortunately do not have a choice.
Lets look at some of the reasons why you might be bottle-feeding;
The natural mother of the child is not present because;
you are adoptive parents
you are a single dad
you are the grandparents of the child
You are a gay couple
Obviously in any of these cases breastfeeding is not possible. There are however a few couples who have successfully managed to breastfeed adopted babies - this is usually possible if you are already nursing one child.

The natural mother of the child is ill;
HIV
Cancer
Any illness which depletes the immune system or involves weakness/loss of weight/appetite or prolonged hospital stays
Apart from HIV there is no risk to your baby from breastfeeding when you are ill, however lets look at the risks and benefits to all members of the family. It is important to ensure that you have enough rest and food at all times in your life but especially after having a new baby. If you are ill this becomes even more vital in order for you to have a full recovery. Struggling to breastfeed whilst being ill and possibly having to bring a baby back into hospital with you in order to do so may not be the best option for you and your family.

You find the idea emotionally or mentally difficult to cope with
Some women find the idea of breastfeeding a very difficult one. This can be because of prior sexual abuse, a bad pregnancy and labour or simply because for some women their breasts feel very personal and the idea of using them to feed is not pleasant one.
Counselling can help to overcome these feelings. HOWEVER, after the birth is NOT the time to begin this counselling process. You are tired and emotional and coping with a period of enormous change. This is never a good time to undergo deep therapy.
It will take time to deal with the issues in an appropriate setting. If you want to breastfeed but feel that issues like these may interfere with your ability to do so successfully and enjoyably then please seek professional help before you get pregnant if at all possible.

It is painful
This is one of the most common reasons women chose to transfer to formula after attempting to breastfeed. Issues may be helped by a fully trained breastfeeding counsellor, however if you have been given assistance and you are still suffering pain/cracked nipples/ mastitis then bottle feeding may offer you and your baby a more enjoyable and manageable way of feeding Ongoing pain is not good for the mother, it will make feeding times difficult and something to dread rather than something to enjoy. Any pain or tension in the carer can communicate itself to the baby, it is far better for your baby to feel warm and loved and safe.

You do not produce enough milk
According to health experts this is rare, but the feeling and worry that you aren't producing enough milk can be very upsetting and tiring. If you are concerned then try expressing. It is also very very important to feed at least 8 times a day in the first few days. Many new babies are very sleepy and it is tempting to let them go longer between feeds but this can led to your milk supply not building up as quickly as possible.
Tiredness, stress and tension (from pain or misery) can also contribute towards a difficult feeding session. If your baby is losing weight or not putting weight on please talk to your health visitor.

The natural mother of the baby needs to return to work
It is possible to breastfeed while at work if your job allows for it and you have understanding employers, but some jobs are not that flexible. The commonly quoted example is that you can 'easily pop into the toilets or a quiet room at lunchtime and express/feed your baby' If the mother has an office job this may be easy but not every women works as an administrative assistant in a nice office.
Here are some examples of jobs in which you may find it difficult to breastfeed;
Jobs which require travel / overnight stays
High pressured jobs in which lunch is eaten at the desk or in meetings
Outdoor jobs where there are no private/sterile storage facilities
Physical or site based jobs
Any job where taking time out to deal with personal matters are frowned upon (whether expressing breast milk or sorting out your sick cat)
Aside from the constraints of the job itself some women feel that they want to give 100% to their job and needing special arrangements or taking time out to feed a baby is not how they want to conduct their working life.

Any of these might be reasons to formula feed, whatever your reasons are remember that Bottle feeding is a safe alternative for parents who are not able to or choose not to breastfeed.

GOOD LUCK

OP posts:
YellowFeathers · 06/11/2006 13:19

Thanks Riab

YellowFeathers · 06/11/2006 13:19

Thanks Riab

sophiewd · 06/11/2006 20:18

Beautifully put. I bottled fed because a0 I had had a breast rduction and in actual fact milk came in on one breast only 5 days after birth and b) the thought of breast feeding made me fell physically sick so perhaps emotionally and mentally was not up for it.

riab · 07/11/2006 13:17

glad its been read by some people. I wrote it after I got alot of stick for FFing and I wanted to give some support to other parents.

OP posts:
pebblemum · 07/11/2006 14:27

When ds1 was a baby i tried really hard to breast feed but on day 8 he had a growth spurt and was drinking practically every hour, i was sore, tired and very emotional. My mum suggested changing to formula even if it was just to topup to give me time to rest, i phoned my midwife for reassurance but I got none, instead she made me feel as though i was a bad mother for even thinking about giving him formula, her advice was to lay him next to me in bed and try to sleep. That was impossible, as soon as he got near me he expected to feed, i couldnt take any more. On one hand i could carry on in pain and fearing every feed or i could offer fomula and be able to rest (expressing was not an option as i was in too much pain). Luckily i had the support of my mother and she made me see that i had to do what was right for both myself and ds1 but without her being there I would have stuck with what the midwife said and i know i would have ended up a wreck.

I hope reading your post helps those like me that for whatever reason cant breastfeed their babies and eases some of the guilt that we all get made to feel. Its not always black and white and sometimes people need to realise that, just because we arent all perfect milking machines doesnt mean we love our babies any less.

pebblemum · 07/11/2006 14:31

Oh and for what its worth FFeeding ds1 did him no harm whatesoever. He is and always has been fit and healthy, the correct height/weight for his age and has never had any allergies that are often linked to fomrula feeding

lulumama · 07/11/2006 14:38

and because you want to ?

i feel it should not be something that has to be justified to anyone!

you can be a fantastic mother without breastfeeding....it is an emotive issue and we dont need to pile guilt onto each other!

i formula fed DS because i didn;t want to breast feed......

i formula fed DD because i wasn;t sure about breast feeding and didn;t get the urge to put her to the breast until my milk came in...i know now i could have successfully breast-fed her with the right support....

but c'est la vie...am not going to spend the next 20 years blaming myself for any coughs or colds they have.....

i used to ffeed them with lots of skin to skin contact and lots of closeness., when they were newborns

frazzledfairy · 07/11/2006 14:39

well said riab both ds's 1 and 2 were ff from 2 or 3 weeks old because neither of the stubborn little buggers would bf! i tried staying in bed with them for days, re-birthing, expressed till i loathed the sight of the breast pump! quite frankly i would have ended up with pnd if i had carried on.

ds2 is now 10 weeks old and i still feel sad/guilty that he didn't feed from me, but i have 2 bootiful, very determined young men and i am going to enjoy every minute with em!

lulumama · 07/11/2006 14:41

and thanks for taking the time to post that Riab.....!

Pitchounette · 07/11/2006 15:21

Message withdrawn

riab · 08/11/2006 13:19

thanks to those who have added other reasons!

personally i didn't want to BF but got pushed into it - horrible first week!

I wish i'd stuck to my guns and FF form birth, then maybe i could remeber that first week with somehting other than pain and hatred!

Of course DS slowness on speech is totally because I FF and gave him tomato ketchup on his chicken burgers!
DS stunning good looks, intelligence, dexterity, charm and all round happiness are by the by!

OP posts:
myrty · 09/11/2006 21:54

I know that this sounds petty... but I am due to give birth (first time) in december and because I am on medication that I do not want my baby to get via BF(and also because I want to) I have decided that I want to bottle feed from day one. This has been recieved negatively by all MW I have seen. Today MW said I would have to take sterilizer, bottles, warmer and all into labour ward as nothing was avaliable there, and really it would be easier/better to BF - and that bottle feeding was only provided for those who really needed it... I don't know why they make you feel as though you have a choice and then, in practice make it vertually impossible. I went to the pharmacy opposite the hospital to see if they had disposible bottles or the compleate bottles that come sterilized (my sister had these when she gave birth in the UK and I also have seen them in Pakistan) but they said they don't do them in the UK. Can you please advise me on how others have managed..

MKG · 09/11/2006 22:14

myrty,

I don't know where you are, but in the US they have premade "nurser" size bottle that are two ounces. You just take the top off and screw on the nipple that comes with the package. Most major brands make them here. Look for them over there.

NotQuiteCockney · 09/11/2006 22:17

Um, people do manage to breastfeed triplets or more.

flibbertyjibbet · 09/11/2006 22:22

I just came on this thread to give some suggestions as to how you might manage your bottle feeding in such a terrible hospital (at ours the mw s all promote bf but are not allowed to push you, they have to let you make up your own mind) and find that the thread is full of justifications for bottle feeding.

So, in answer to the lady's question - perhaps you could buy Steri bottles, they are the ready sterilised disposable bottles, can get them at mothercare and larger boots (try boots online) and little cartons of the ready made formula. Don't get the big cartons as cartons are only sterile for an hour after opening if you don't have access to a fridge. That would do for the first few hours, then you can get DH to sterilise 'normal' ie not disposable bottles, fill with boiling water, and bring in to you with a tub of formula, so you just make up the bottles as you need as filling a sterile bottle with boiling water will keep it sterile for several hours before opening. If you need to warm them up you can use very hot tap water and a bowl. Hope your hosp lets the fathers pop in at times other than visiting so he can do this a couple of times a day if necessary. I am sorry you are having this difficulty, at our hosp if you ff you get the tiny bottles supplied by the hosp and if you bf you get all the support you need. I combined so had the best of both worlds. Good luck with everything and hope you find the disposable bottles.

flibbertyjibbet · 09/11/2006 22:25

Steribottles are on Toysrus on line shopping £2.50 ish for pack of 4.

flibbertyjibbet · 09/11/2006 22:27

Oh sorry i read the thread upside down and thought the question about taking sterilised bottles into hosp was the first item on this thread. durrrr

mears · 09/11/2006 22:28

riab - I do not disagree with what you have posted. There are lots of reasons why women bottle feed. I prefer the one where they say they don't want to, then no-one will try and correct the problem that makes them think they can't!

myrty - where are you? If you bottle fed from day one where i am you would get formula in the hospital.

myrty · 09/11/2006 22:34

flibbertyjibbet and MKG many thanks for your help and advice. I will see if I can get them tommorrow from where you reccommend - and will get little cartons too.. its a big help and relief thanks

tiktok · 10/11/2006 08:52

myrty, I agree with mears....if a mum doesn't want to breastfeed, then for goodness sake, I want her to say that! The issue of medications - raised by you - could be a red herring. It is, after all, very likely that a medication you are taking in pregnancy is actually safer during breastfeeding....so if you are ok to take it while pg, there would be no point in not bf to avoid the baby taking it then.

It is fair enough that midwives ensure that mothers have the information on which to base their decision not to breastfeed, but pressurising is not good care.

A small number of hospitals ask that formula feeding mothers bring in their own feeding stuff for their baby. I don't think it's any worse than asking them to bring in nappies and clothing for the baby, and santitary towels for mum....not sure why people would object to it.

tiktok · 10/11/2006 08:53

NQC - thanks for reminding us about triplets!
I have known three triplet mums who have exclusively breastfed.

riab · 10/11/2006 13:43

Oh I completly agree that the first and in a way most important reason not to BF is if you don't want to!

I didn't want to and was pressurised into doing so anyway - sheer hell ensued fo rme and bubs until we switched to formula.

I posted this cos I've been told so many times that 'all' women can breastfeed. I thought a while and came up with a list of reasons why you might not be able to BF even if you wanted to!

Whoever posted about lack of support from midwife, you can certinaly get the presterilised bottles in hospital. I have a home birth myself but when DS had to go into hospital at 8 months the children and labour wards all had big cupboards full of baby bottles/ milk/ baby food/ nappies and even baby clothes!

If you are unsure pack a hospitla bag with a carton of your preferred brand of formula plus a couple of presterilised small bottles. There's 9oz in a small carton which would see you through at least 2 feeds and probably 4 feeds! You can store the unused milk in the carton in a fridge for 24 hours so pour out what you need into two bottles, then store rest in fridge. The hospital also has ot provide facilities for sterilising bottles, but again if you are worried pop a couple fo milton tablets in. I found steam sterlising much better but in a picnh a milton tablet plus a pan/jug of cold water will sterilise bottles.

OP posts:
riab · 10/11/2006 13:46

tiktok, if a woman tells you she doesn't want to engage in a very intimate and personal act do you (as a midwife or whatever) really have any right whatsoever to 'inform' her of all the reasons why she should do the thing she's just said she doens't want to do?

One of the things that annoyed me most was that if you say in pregnancy that you don't want to breastfeed the midwife/health visitors assume you are stupid and promtly bombard you with all kinds of pro breastfeeding literature. Very patronising!

They are my breasts and it shoudl be my choice, shouldn't it?

OP posts:
tiktok · 10/11/2006 13:55

The trouble is, riab, hardly any of your reasons why women may not be able to breastfeed stand up. I have known directly or indirectly women who breastfeed/supply breastmilk in virtually all those circumstances - yes, including adoptive mothers, including mothers ill with cancer (not when undergoing chemotherapy though). One of the few on that list where I have no direct or indirect knowledge of a breastfeeding experience is where both halves of a gay couple are male - and I bet if you looked, you'd find a male gay couple sourcing expressed human milk.

I could go through them all and explain why most of these reasons can be and have been overcome, but I won't. Not everyone is up for a massive challenge to bf, of course, and that's ok, too.

If someone doesn't want to start, or continue, then they need to say

NotQuiteCockney · 10/11/2006 14:00

I suspect midwives are just making sure the mum is making an informed choice. So many people seem to think that formula is as good as, or the same as, breast milk, that I can understand why midwives would want to point it out.

That being said, I'm sure loads of women who choose to ff are making informed decisions, and of course, telling women the facts about breastfeeding is a delicate thing, and likely to cause upset ...