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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Bottle Feeding

117 replies

riab · 06/11/2006 10:57

In support of parents who bottle feed their child.

Why do Parents bottle feed?
Every Parent should have a choice of how they wish to feed their baby, however there are some circumstances in which parents unfortunately do not have a choice.
Lets look at some of the reasons why you might be bottle-feeding;
The natural mother of the child is not present because;
you are adoptive parents
you are a single dad
you are the grandparents of the child
You are a gay couple
Obviously in any of these cases breastfeeding is not possible. There are however a few couples who have successfully managed to breastfeed adopted babies - this is usually possible if you are already nursing one child.

The natural mother of the child is ill;
HIV
Cancer
Any illness which depletes the immune system or involves weakness/loss of weight/appetite or prolonged hospital stays
Apart from HIV there is no risk to your baby from breastfeeding when you are ill, however lets look at the risks and benefits to all members of the family. It is important to ensure that you have enough rest and food at all times in your life but especially after having a new baby. If you are ill this becomes even more vital in order for you to have a full recovery. Struggling to breastfeed whilst being ill and possibly having to bring a baby back into hospital with you in order to do so may not be the best option for you and your family.

You find the idea emotionally or mentally difficult to cope with
Some women find the idea of breastfeeding a very difficult one. This can be because of prior sexual abuse, a bad pregnancy and labour or simply because for some women their breasts feel very personal and the idea of using them to feed is not pleasant one.
Counselling can help to overcome these feelings. HOWEVER, after the birth is NOT the time to begin this counselling process. You are tired and emotional and coping with a period of enormous change. This is never a good time to undergo deep therapy.
It will take time to deal with the issues in an appropriate setting. If you want to breastfeed but feel that issues like these may interfere with your ability to do so successfully and enjoyably then please seek professional help before you get pregnant if at all possible.

It is painful
This is one of the most common reasons women chose to transfer to formula after attempting to breastfeed. Issues may be helped by a fully trained breastfeeding counsellor, however if you have been given assistance and you are still suffering pain/cracked nipples/ mastitis then bottle feeding may offer you and your baby a more enjoyable and manageable way of feeding Ongoing pain is not good for the mother, it will make feeding times difficult and something to dread rather than something to enjoy. Any pain or tension in the carer can communicate itself to the baby, it is far better for your baby to feel warm and loved and safe.

You do not produce enough milk
According to health experts this is rare, but the feeling and worry that you aren't producing enough milk can be very upsetting and tiring. If you are concerned then try expressing. It is also very very important to feed at least 8 times a day in the first few days. Many new babies are very sleepy and it is tempting to let them go longer between feeds but this can led to your milk supply not building up as quickly as possible.
Tiredness, stress and tension (from pain or misery) can also contribute towards a difficult feeding session. If your baby is losing weight or not putting weight on please talk to your health visitor.

The natural mother of the baby needs to return to work
It is possible to breastfeed while at work if your job allows for it and you have understanding employers, but some jobs are not that flexible. The commonly quoted example is that you can 'easily pop into the toilets or a quiet room at lunchtime and express/feed your baby' If the mother has an office job this may be easy but not every women works as an administrative assistant in a nice office.
Here are some examples of jobs in which you may find it difficult to breastfeed;
Jobs which require travel / overnight stays
High pressured jobs in which lunch is eaten at the desk or in meetings
Outdoor jobs where there are no private/sterile storage facilities
Physical or site based jobs
Any job where taking time out to deal with personal matters are frowned upon (whether expressing breast milk or sorting out your sick cat)
Aside from the constraints of the job itself some women feel that they want to give 100% to their job and needing special arrangements or taking time out to feed a baby is not how they want to conduct their working life.

Any of these might be reasons to formula feed, whatever your reasons are remember that Bottle feeding is a safe alternative for parents who are not able to or choose not to breastfeed.

GOOD LUCK

OP posts:
lulumama · 15/11/2006 16:26

shall we have a group hug ???

tiktok · 15/11/2006 16:28

Just to add: there are always many live threads which discuss the practicalities of formula feeding, anyway, and every so often we get a long one specifically for support.

I really don't recognise this idea that ff mothers don't get support or info on mumsnet.

pollypeachum · 15/11/2006 16:39

oh please yes to the group hug. i'm exhausted after mumsnetting all day and trying to right my wrongs!!

MKG · 15/11/2006 16:45

Personally I think that the whole thing is silly.

It's nice that formula feeders can have a place to feel comfortable. Personally I don't care. I like other people's opinions even if they don't agree with my own. It's fun to discuss things with other people and get opinions. If I thought everyone should agree with me and understand me I wouldn't post on a public forum.

Tik tok I appreciate that you posted responses to the reasons why women don't breastfeed. It's nice to know that most problems can be solved, and in the end it all boils down to desire.

lulumama · 15/11/2006 16:47

you've had a baptism of fire haven't you!!

tiktok · 15/11/2006 16:52

Eeeeeek......MKG, no it doesn't boil down to desire! That's another view that invites a cyber-mauling!! there are people who desperately, yearningly, want to breastfeed and don't manage it, not because they don't want to 'enough', but because something has gone wrong which has not been properly fixed, or because they have had poor support.

pollypeachum · 15/11/2006 17:05

lulumama it has definitely been one of the more exhilarating days i've had recently.
for months in fact.
am off for a large glass of wine.

oh have just looked at clock. ok will stave of alcholic urge until a slightly more respectable time.
am off instead for a soothing cup of earl grey!

MKG · 15/11/2006 17:10

I get what you're saying and I retract my previous post.

AitchTwoOh · 15/11/2006 17:33

i'm just back from the shops and i will be having a guinness. haven't had one since it was one of my many supplements suggested to up my milk supply but the wintry weather has reminded me of those times and so DH and i are going to get all nostalgic about the misery and elation of having a tiny baby while we sip...

ABSOLUTELY P M S L in the worst way about MKG's narrowly avoided cyber-mauling and hurried retraction... hilarious and just a perfect MN moment. i am laughing as i type (got that from Xenia, who says that A LOT) but really, the whole bfing and ffing thing is an absolute minefield isn't it? careful where you tread, all, and glad you had a fun day pollypeachum... taking on a well-known MNer is totally the best way to get your face known - personally i think that's what you were up to all along...

tiktok · 15/11/2006 17:36

Good idea, MKG

I absolutely know you meant well, but wanted to help you know where the booby traps (hah!! ) were in the discussion!

CorrieDale · 15/11/2006 17:38

Aitch, you're wasted on MN. Isn't there a vacancy somewhere in the United Nations that you could fill? Go on... you know you want to! Think of all that lovely gravy!!

AitchTwoOh · 15/11/2006 17:44

and how do you know that i amn't Mrs Kofi Annan, the power behind the UN throne?

AitchTwoOh · 15/11/2006 17:44
lulumama · 15/11/2006 17:47

ladies....especially poll.....bar will be open later...come and have a (virtual) drink on me to celebrate sisterhood !!

MKG · 15/11/2006 17:49

Tik tok-
It's really hard to say the right thing on these threads. I think I must run to the safety of Formula Feeders Only thread.

AitchTwoOh · 15/11/2006 18:18

lulu

i've never been into the bar, what happens there?
PS i'm actually not joking.

lulumama · 15/11/2006 18:22

oh aitch.....

tis a lovely place in chat, where we meet nightly for general banter, chit chat , idle gossip and virtual cocktails.....! try it ...you might like it!

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