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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Serious question: why ^are^ many of the pro-b/f amongst you so rabid?

393 replies

Pruni · 26/08/2006 17:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
JennT · 26/08/2006 21:51

Don't think that many people would though...I have just been led to expect them.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/08/2006 21:51

Its stereotyping, and its just rude moondog.

That people think its okay to bunch a group of people together and make rude remarks. Unfortunately, If i'm part of that "bunch" (even though i'm not in the least bit "rabid") then I take it personally. If people have issues with certain posters, instead of throwing about ambiguous insults I'd rather they out and out said who they had an issue with and why, rather than make generalised slurs.

It doesnt help anyone, least of all encourage those to breastfeed, and pass on the knowledge they have gained, and feel like they cant recommend and spread the good about breastfeeding for fear of hurting others sensitivities. Why shouldnt it be shouted from the rooftops?

milward · 26/08/2006 21:52

I'm here with jelly sweets - perhaps that explains the foaming at the mouth

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/08/2006 21:53

And, why should they be insulted for doing so?

sancerre · 26/08/2006 21:55

JennT - nobody ever did, and they're not likely to now, as ds only feeds morning/night. Am also pretty mild IRL but was ready for the blood of anyone that hassled me whilst bfing...

moondog · 26/08/2006 21:55

But it can be shouted from the rooftops VVV.

Ireally don't see that comments from foolish ill informed people have any bearing on that.

NOA is often on b/feeding threads making useful comments.
She doesn't really enjoy b/feeding,but she does it. Good for her!

JennT · 26/08/2006 21:58

oops got caught up in crossfire here. Haven't read full thread. Was just my personal opinion. Comment wasn't aimed at anybody.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/08/2006 22:08

Shame the comments are more useful here. Ho hum.

I shall disassociate myself forthwith, lest I fall foul of any other well intentioned insults.

Jimjams2 · 26/08/2006 22:11

ah NAO someone after my own heart. The thing I hated most about not being able to bfeed ds3 was having to do sodding bottles. We should start the "I breasftfeed as I'm too lazy to sterilise" club

Otherwise as always I am with scummy the fantastic social worker )

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/08/2006 22:15

Mind you, perhaps my sensitivy is due to my breastfeeding hormone addled brain....

misdee · 26/08/2006 22:17

i loved not having to steralise stuff for dd3. i am also lazy. making bottles is annoying. i'd always forget to have one ready for night feeds so would be bumbling about with dd1/dd2 crying for a feed and i'd be all bleary eyed and making mistakes.

sweetkitty · 26/08/2006 22:34

Having a newborn strapped to your boobs 24/7 or it feels like it, your toes curling up when they first latch, sore engorged boobs, cracked nips, big bras, leaking boobs, enough to make anyone rabid.

Some days I like breastfeeding other days I hate it, the reason I do it - simply because I know it's the best way I can feed my children, it's a no brainer human milk for a human baby not milk from a big lumping animal in a field, processed to buggery, dried and stuck in a tin. I know for some people formula is a godsend and their babies would have starved without it, I was bottle fed and I'm OK (apart from the rabies of course). I hate formula companies with their advertising and just trying to make a profit from something mothers can make for free.

Jimjams2 · 26/08/2006 22:50

You can join our club then misdee And god it takes forever to heat up in the middle of the night.

flutterbee · 26/08/2006 22:53

Oh FGS get a grip all of you.

I could not give a stuff what anyone says to me about how I fed ds, it is my business and my business only.

When I first joined MN I was shocked by the attitude of some mothers over the breast feeding issue. Most it has to be said were fantastic totally helpful and informative the other few were no help at all because it was not their love for the breast feeding cause that came accross but their hate of bottle/formula feeding and it is that attitude that made them look like fools.

I am all for breast feeding but I refuse to judge those that choose to formula feed.

sweetkitty · 26/08/2006 22:55

Takes me all my time to lift my jammie top unhook bra and latch DD2 on, poor thing gets fed up and starts sucking on my top. I'm far to lazy to get out of bed to find a bottle to feed her with. Some nights I find DP trying to latch her on as I'm asleep and haven't woken up. Well thats what he says he's doing tugging at my bra

Jimjams2 · 26/08/2006 22:58

ds2 was like that sweetkitty- self service- I dind't have to wake up...... DS3 launching himself across the bed screaming for a bottle was a revelation I can tell you And no my bloody husband didn't get involved- haivng bfed 2 he didn't seem to comprehend helping out with night bottle feeds!

Flutterbee I will add you to my I agree with scummy...... and flutterbee list.

NotAnOtter · 26/08/2006 23:03

Well said Flutterbee!

aitch71 · 26/08/2006 23:03

okay, i'm going to ask because it's really bothering me... I am not endorsing pruni's op, by the way.

Moondog,
you seem like a strong and caring woman, and you have described yourself tonight as, i think, reasonable. (can't be bothered scrolling back, i am supposed to be working).

I too am a strong and caring woman, and i also think of myself as reasonable. i, however, probably for medical reasons although it's hard to know exactly, could not exclusively breastfeed my child and mix-fed for 17 weeks and now - after the baby jacked in bfing - I use formula and have given her solids from when she was 6 months. i started using the formula only after DD became dehydrated.

while i can understand that you rail at the lack of help for mums who would like to breastfeed, and at the quality of the formula which is offered, and i promise you that if i have another child i will come here for advice as well as my midwives, HVs, herbalists and specialist breastfeeding units that i previously accessed, i would still really (calmly and kindly) like to know whether you now think that the way you worded your thread title about 'peddling junk' was okay in retrospect?

because it had me shaking with tears and hurt... because i wanted so badly to nourish my child with my own milk and because i feel such sadness that i couldn't.

and because, despite the fact that i may fall into the 'acceptable' bracket of formula feeders whose children would have starved without it, i am still sensitive to people who slag off formula.

i understand that there are issues with formula production, and i understand that you had largely quoted from the article, but nevertheless...

so i would fully support your posting the article you did on mumsnet, but given that it could only ever result in me feeling like crap it would definitely be something i would prefer to avoid. I'm sure you can understand why, and judging by many of the responses i was not the only person who was hurt and upset by reading your thread title on the active convos page.

so, while reiterating that i am not looking for more stress on the subject, and hoping to appeal to your reasonable-ness, i just wondered if you had any thoughts about your original choice of words? i have read other posts of yours, and i know that you are highly regarded on mumsnet (i've only been here a few months so am a relative newbie) and it really shocked me that you would feel such a lack of consideration was due to someone like me who had tried hard.

Of course i would contend that the same consideration should have been extended to people who ff across the board but i fear i wouldn't convince you of that so i'd like to personalise it and ask you how you feel about the fact that it hurt me...

too soppy? maybe... but i am tired and it turns out that i am still a bit upset by all that palaver from before...

nearlythree · 26/08/2006 23:03

I loved bfeeding. And I love ffeeding too.

moondog · 26/08/2006 23:09

Aitch,I'm sorry if you were hurt by the thread.
But I can't pretend I don't think formula is junk,because I do.

Surely what matters though is what you think,not what a stranger you have never met does???

I know people find many of my parenting choices rather odd.
It really doesn't bother me one bit. They are right for me.

moondog · 26/08/2006 23:10

'formula isn't junk' rather....

nearlythree · 26/08/2006 23:12

But moondog, what do those of us who have no choice have to give our children other than formula? It's not junk IMO. I thank God it exists, o/wise I'm not sure my dd1 or ds would.

moondog · 26/08/2006 23:13

If the choice is formula or no food at all,which do you think I would go for???

In that case, of course it is an acceptable alternative!!!

Jimjams2 · 26/08/2006 23:14

aww aitch , don't get upset by it. What I've found over years of mumsnet use is that when someone provides some sort of sweeping generalisation if you describe your situation they'll say "oh, well I didn't mean you" (and meanwhile you've seen read/have been ranting/sobbing etc) I do tend to have a reflex in place now where I will argue against any sweeping generalisation no matter what my actual views are on the subject, because I agree its damaging.

I do find the whole breastfeeding/food issues type thing going on on mumsnet at the moment distinctly odd, but so odd that I find it best to turn a back on the computer and look at the real world.

If I could have fed ds3 I would have, no doubt people here will tell me I could have, but I didn't see them offering to do everything that needs doing here whilst I rested and built up my milk supply so I don't take that point of view very seriously.

There's a trashy novbel doing the rounds at the moment "Daniel isn't talking". I wanted to flush it down the loo at various stages, but one good point it had was that unless someone is in your situation they have no right to an opinion. Hang onto that!

long reply- but you sounded so upset

LucyJu · 26/08/2006 23:16

Surely most people who can be bothered to post on a thread like this feel quite strongly about infant feeding choices one way or another, or they wouldn't bother to post, would they? For example, I have no strong feelings about, say, co-sleeping, so never bother with any of those threads.
Could just as easily run a thread "Serious question: why are many of the pro-formula amongst you so rabid?". Because it seems that some people are just as keen to wade in in support of infant formula as others are in support of breastfeeding. Or would that thread title be deemed too offensive/insensitive? From where I'm sitting, breastfeeding mothers seem to be treated as fair game, yet it seems formula-feeding mothers must never be criticised because that might upset them. At least, that is how things look to me.

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