Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

[PontOffelPock]

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

Stealth at I'm not a mammal.
You have it exactly, there's never a reason to stop until you do. In fact I'm not sure there was a reason even then, except DD2 could have gone on the web and researched and written a passible article on why extended BFing is good

DD1 was such a grade A pita to BF I never imagined BFing any age of child except as vague wishful thinking.

DD2 just knew what she was doing from her second ever BF, to the day we agreed it was getting a bit silly many, many, many years down the line.

None of it was planned, we just went with the flow. DD2 liked feeding, she's a clever cookie and she worked at finding ways to make it work as she grew.

I just didn't say no that's all

I think it's fine to continue breastfeeding for as long as the mother and child are happy with it.

We didn't mange to get breastfeeding established with DS1, but he still wants a bedtime bottle at almost 2.5yrs - won't settle without it - so I can easily imagine a toddler who'd been breastfed still wanting to bf at bedtime at 3yrs or older.

Breastfeeding DS2 (4 months) now, and I'm planning on continuing for as long as we're both happy with this, however long that may be. I don't really care if other people throw their hands up in horror if he's still breastfed past 6 months or 2 yrs or whatever.

I have a friend who's still breastfeeding her 3.5yr old DS, but you wouldn't know that unless you asked her, because since he was about 1yr old, he's been old enough to not really need any breastmilk in the daytime.

Stealth

actually same here.
I stopped when there was a good reason to stop.

DS1 got disinterested
DS2, my best feeder, started biting and after 2 weeks of dreading every feed and stressing I just had to give up

and so on.

Shadow, same with ds3 he still has a bottle at night and he's 2.10. I can quite imagen ds4 will still want a bf at that age, although im hoping he will stop himself in the next 6 months or so

EXactly. I convinced ds to stop when he was 4, dd was 18m and I had had enough of being tied to breastfeeding everynight. Plus, and I hate to admit this, he was starting school and I was worried hed be bullied. Dd stopped herself at about 3 and a half.
I also feel the same about bedtime bottles - for comfort not nutrition so bloody what. Comfort yiur tiny children! (Teeth brushing considered of course)

TheBookofRuth that line!

Exactly, there may be many in your extended circle who BF older DCs, but you only know if they are very close DFs and/or you have similar age DCs.

I know one DF feed her DD to 5 and others who have are feeding 2-3yo and who never bothered to say when they stopped. DSIL is a private person I wouldn't ask and DF probably doesn't know when her eldest last fed as she played after DD2 was born.

At one they may not be feeding morning and night only, some of them want to feed more than that and that's fine as well. But certainly as they get older this tends to be the case and it's a non issue what others think because you can either outright lie or just never mention it and they will assume.

I think I would find a seven year old feeding strange. But you know, I'd get over it.

As for being bullied, why should anyone know?

I never told DD2 it was a secret, but she simply never said anything.

She is the only socially astute member of the family, she simply instinctively knew it was private.

Also I think she knew DFs DD had been told to stop (because she insisted on coming into bed at night and her DM had run out of patience) and DD2 wouldn't have wanted to stir up trouble.

DD2 had worked out being feed in the night, equalled grumpy likely to stop feeding you Mother about 2 years earlier.

Ds isnt that socially astute (like mother like son) and I could easily imagine him mentioning "mimi" to older children without thinking.

Unfortunately you know in my house because ds loves nothing more than to ask for boobies when anyone comes to visit. Word to the wise teach your child another word for feeding if you are going to bf a toddler.

I don't think it's even that they know it's private, it's just so mundane to them. It's not like they discuss what they have for breakfast or their bedtime routine. They might act it out with a baby doll or something but other than that, normal household stuff that they take for granted doesn't really come up in their play I find.

It was always 'mummy muck' and then 'mook' for DD thankfully!

Still feeding DS 3.8 and I would say the vast majority of people who know me wouldn't know that. DM raises an eyebrow or asks when we are stopping occasionally and now I've told her that I'm not discussing it anymore.

A PPoster mentioned extending BFers going on about it and it seeming more to be about them than their child. When I read that I was surprised because the DC in question was15 months and I don't really think of that as extended anymore (isn't extended bf when someone does it for longer than you :-) ). I also thought, yes she might be happy to put things up on Facebook now, but just wait till she feels the weight of all the disapproval/disgust coming her way, she will either feel that she has to stop talking about it, or actually stop bfing.

If DS was happy to go to sleep without a bf I would be fine but while he still wants it he can have it. Although at 40 I am wondering if the menopause will hit before he stops! :-)

I think you are swayed by what you did. I thought eugh when I saw the Channel 4 programme at the 8 year old but then I fed DD1 regularly until she was 6 and she fed a few times when even older. She didnt start that old she just grew one day at a time.

DS stopped at 2.6, just before his baby sister was born, I don't think he liked the change in taste.

DD2 is 4 and still feeds. I asked her last night if she still wanted mummy milk and she said "yes please Mummy I love my bosoms!" and gave my chest a big kiss. She doesn't feed every morning or every night but if she asks I give. I have got to the point where if she doesnt ask I do not offer, it is up to her.

Carry on until you or yor DC are ready to stop, you will find what works for you.

There are a surprising amount of us out there that do natural term BF. We don't tend to shout about it or we get told off for being weird, doing it for our own gratification, rubbing others noses in it that couldn't BF etc etc etc.

Oh wow, so many positive stories here, thank you!

Very encouraging although I take the point about this not being a representative sample of the general public!

If anyone is feeding a preverbal baby or toddler I heartily recommend using the word "milk" for bfing. I don't think anyone would be surprised to hear a 2yo saying he liked milk at bedtime, would smile at a 4yo and only start to at six or more.

I don't think even then - my cousin had milk (cow's milk, in a cup!) at bedtime until he was about 12 and my aunt only stopped him from having it because he used to get up to use the toilet in the night and she thought it was making him too tired for school!

I only stopped nursing DS at 3 because I HATED tandem nursing, absolutely loathed it, it made my skin crawl, and after 3 months of it, I had to stop. Had I not had that reaction, I imagine he'd still be nursing now (literally now!) at 4.3. there are mums at our LLL group who still bfeed their 4 or 5 yos, and you wouldn't know it to look at them. It's only when the mums tell us that we know.

My sister is a nurse though, and has told me, variously, that 'you can't breastfeed once they are old enough to wear shoes', 'breast feeding a boy is basically sexual abuse' and 'breast feeding past 6 months is just repulsive'. the moron So she has made it very clear to me that she has no idea what she's on about she is not in favour of extended bfing. I'm still bfing my 19 month old DD anyway, and no immediate plans to stop. I think it's acceptable until it isn't really. And that day will come eventually. No hurry to get to it though :)

Horatia I had seen this elsewhere and was very lad of it the time DS (at about 18 months) kicked off in a supermarket trolley and was shouting "milk, milk". Unfortunately he was sticking his arm down my top so it was very clear what he meant, but another mother was sympathising and told me that her DD (about the same age) would be screaming "booby". I know which I'd rather have the world hear a tantrum about.

Yes, Bertie, but that's pretty unusual. I'd be surprised to hear that more than half my DS1's Y1 class had a cup of milk every night as part of their bedtime, but I wouldn't think it unsuitable probably. By secondary school I would definitely think it odd.

"Extended breast feeding is any time longer than your Mother/MIL/other nosey parker breast fed for."

I fed DD till 18 months when I got pregnant again and the hormones made my milk taste odd. DS is 22 months and still breast feeding. I never fed in public after about 12-14 months, so I think everyone presumed I'd stopped.
i recommend vagueness- my Mum disapproves so now she doesn't know I'm still feeding.

Definitely a good idea to teach babies an appropriate word for breast feeding so they don't shout for boobies in the middle of sainsburys.

I'm really not sure when I think people should stop. We'll hopefully be done by the time DS is 4 or 5 I think, others can do what they like!

I was ready to stop at a year yet things evolve and change and now I'm actually happily still feeding my 3 year old- I don't think anyone knows apart from them, me and dh but I'm not ashamed, it suits us and I think it's more common than you would think!