Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

[PontOffelPock]

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

I think anything older than the child you are / have fed is hard to imagine IMO. When I started BFing DD I couldn't have looked at a walking talking 2yo and imagined BFing a child that age but I did. Now I look at her at 3 and can't imagine it, so it seems odd, but only because we happened to stop. As there are people who think BFing at all is a bit yuck I'd try not to think about what others think...

I don't really care, but what is very irritating is when "extended breast feeders" make a big song and dance about it.

I have an acquaintance on Facebook that posts at least once a day about how ignorant other people are for not continuing to breast feed after a year etc.

Her baby is around 15 months, and she posts loads of pictures of her breast feeding, and lots of links to pro-toddler feeding sites. It tells me that she's doing it more for herself really.

I fed DD2 until she was 3.5. When she was a baby I couldn't have imagined BFing a walking talking toddler. But when it's your own it feels different. I did what was right for her and I am proud of that.

I probably would have felt unconfortable once she started school. But it wouldn't bother me if other people did.

My daughter is 2 next month and we're still breastfeeding (quite a bit too)

She looks a lot older than her age...she's bigger than some of my friends 3 year olds.
Sometimes I feel uneasy in public because I think people will judge me and think she's older!
But then I realise I shouldn't care because it really doesn't affect anyone else!

Before I had my DD, I spouted a lot of nonsense about "once they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old to be doing it", and was horrified by a friend who admitted feeding her DD till she was 5/6.

Now, DD is still happily feeding at two, and I am happy to keep letting her do so till she wants to stop. I don't feed her in public as a general rule, although I have done when she's been very upset to calm her down, but if you're in my home I will feed her as and when necessary and if it makes you uncomfortable, you can leave.

Family and friends used to comment on it a lot and ask when I was going to stop, but I think they've now realised we're in no hurry and stopped mentioning it. DC2 is due in July and if DD is still bfing by them I plan to give tandem feeding a go.

Someone on here once put it best (for me) when she said that it wasn't like most extended bfeeders really plan it. You're just feeding your baby. And every day that baby gets a little older, till you're feeding a 1 year old, 18 month old, 2 yr old, 3 yr old, etc. But to you they're still your baby, and all you're doing is feeding your baby, like you did the day before, and the day before that...

I'm lucky, I suppose to have a high level of self-confidence, so I don't really give a toss what other people think of me. It's sad to think other people's opinions might put other women off though.

I'm still feeding dd who is 16 mo. She is showing no signs if stopping though I have managed to calm her down from 6+ feeds a day to 2-3 and maybe another 2-3 over night rather than staying on all night.
I'm pg again now and I intend on feeding both until they are ready but maybe by 2 if they are showing no signs of self weaning I might give then a bit of encouragement. I'm already tired. The idea if bf for another 2.5 years without getting a break is exhausting just thinking about it

Violet, you are cool.

I like the way this thread is going. I'm breastfeeding my four month old (not now, he's asleep), but it's heartening to see people who breastfed beyond weaning. I don't know what I will do, but it's encouraging to hear about other people's experiences, so thank you!

OP, your DS is still so young! You'll reach a point when you'll run out of shits to give about what other people think

There will always be someone that thinks what you are doing is disgusting; some people feel that way about any breastfeeding. Everyone will have a different arbitrary cut-off point. Do what works for you and your DS and sod everyone else.

Couldn't give a rat's ass.

If I were able to BF, I'd still be BFing DS who is 2.1.

My DSil with 5 dc still BFs her 3.5yo child every now and then, surrounded by older children and extended family, nobody blinks.

Does it really matter, really?

I think as long as the mother and child are happy it's acceptable. When you're feeding a newborn you don't necessarily set out to still be feeding when they're a toddler, but bam, you wake up one day and your baby is all big and gangley and you're still feeding. That's how it happened with us anyway.

I'm not bothered if some people think it's weird, for every person who thinks it's not right there's one who's done exactly the same.

I stopped at about 9 months with each of mine, but they never had formula and had Breast milk from a cup for 3 or 4 months after. They were both bitey and I didn't enjoy feeding them once those bites were too painful.
If I had stil enjoyed feeding I would have carried on longer but probably not once they can walk.
As someone else stated though I think a 4 year old out with a dummy makes me judge more than a four year old having some milk from mum at bedtime.

Obviously it's a personal choice and in Biblical times bf was prolonged for the first 4 years (as I have been told by some people who researched thus), for various reasons, so feeding beyond 6 months is nothing new.

I'd think bf an 8 or 12 year old is weird, and it's probably a good idea to stop before they go to school (so aged 4-ish in UK).

to me about 2 years is what I would ever consider as I something I could push it to, but in reality the 6 months mark is what I tend to have in mind, then see what happens.

3 of mine (out of 6) so far had tongue tie, so we struggled a lot.
with #3 I didn't know he had it and as he wasn't thriving I eventually gave up completely at 5 months.
with DD (my 6th) I ended up bf until she was 1, mixed feeding though from 4 months.

the others in between.

#7 is due in July and I haven't decided yet.
I'll probably aim for 6 months again.

hth

I don't really care how long, if you do or don't BF. The only thing that irks me is people who assume feeding an older child is about making a statement, some children want to feed for longer and will ask for it wherever they are. Feeding an older child is not about the mother, other than she doesn't want to upset the status quo and is happy letting her child take the lead.

MN is nowhere near a barometer of social opinion generally. Especially in this section, you are more likely to get a better understanding of the reasons for EBF and acceptance of it, because it's talked about and hysteria is generally quashed. If you post somewhere like AIBU, you will find a higher proportion of people saying that it's unacceptable at younger ages. If you handed out questionnaires on the street or asked on facebook, you'd probably get an even higher proportion. Conversely, if you walked into a LLL meeting and asked you'd get the lowest proportion of all.

I don't have an upper age limit where I would find it unacceptable, (although personally for me the point where they get loose teeth would make me want to stop) but the vast majority of the general public do seem to find it so after somewhere between 6 months and 2 years. Having said that, I fed DS in front of people when he was about 2/3 years who didn't have kids and they generally didn't say anything. IME you're more likely to get strong opinions from people who do which makes me think it's defensiveness which is a shame - I hate that people feel the need to be defensive over FF/BF.

In my experience you don't really need to mind what people think, after the age of about 18 months/2 depending on how good your child is at understanding, you can just keep it to at home and most people assume that you have stopped anyway. If you have a LLL group near you, you'll find people there who are feeding older children and that is nice to feel you are not alone and it's nice to be able to visit someone and not worry if your toddler wants a feed that they might say something inadvertently etc. I fed DS until he was 4, but it's not like I was poking a boob through the school gate. He just had it occasionally at bedtime until he stopped by himself.

I generally fall in the Extended camp.

But actually I tend to feel a bit weird and icky about any baby or child being bfed that isn't the same age as my current nursling. So when I was bfing a 2yo I felt it was weird to bf a newborn, and now I'm back to bfing a little baby I feel weird about bfing toddlers.

Certainly I feel creeped out when my 2.9 and 5.7 snuggle up and pretend to tandem (triandem?) feed with the baby.

But that's my feelings, not my rational brain. Rationally I believe that a bfing relationship reasonably lasts as long as both parties are still willing. We don't know how brilliant bm has the capacity to be, nor precisely why it's so brilliant.

At my hospital at one stage the milk bank was so full they were giving the excess to the adult gastro ward with success.

Oh and yy to "only ever feeding the same child as the day before".

Into the teenage years is shocking .

I love these threads as it gives me an opportunity to shoehorn one of my favourite stories about my children in.
I was feeding dd and dh was reading ds a book about animals. Theyd got to the bit on mammals and dh was explaining what they were. He got to "and they have milk from their mummies, like you and dd, she's a mammal, we all are". Dd de-latched and grumpily said "I am NOT a mammal" then went back to her feed :o

I agree with the others who has said it's much easier to understand when you have done it yourself. For me both because having breastfed DS3 until 2.8, I know what it's like to be judged by others (mostly family, intentionally and unintentionally) and also as TheBookOfRuth said, you don't just suddenly feed a two year old, you feed your baby and he shows no signs of wanting to stop and he just keeps growing and feeding.

For those reasons I don't think I would really judge someone feeding their child at whatever age.

I honestly don't think anyone would breastfeed a child for attention seeking behaviour as you rarely get any positive attention for breastfeeding. You do forget that what seems normal and natural for you might not for others.

I'm still feeding DS at 18 months but I now keep that fact quiet from most friends and all my family as I couldn't be arsed with the comments anymore. DH has an air of resignation about the matter.

I definitely don't breastfeed for me. DS has no intentions of stopping and it just seems natural to feed him. Before he was born, I genuinely thought I would stop at 6 months. But as with a lot of things, I had to change my preconceived ideas to the way DS needed thing to be.

I figured out yesterday thr answer to why I chose to breastfeed so long. It wasnt a choice to contjnue as such,there was just never a ggood reason to stop, until I did.

Anothernumber, when people ask when I'm planning to stop bfing, I adopt a Very Serious Face and say I'm hoping she stops before university, as I'd rather not go back to living in halls.

In 2004 world health organisation said all babies should breastfeed until they are age 2 (before they said age 1 for developed countries).

However by about age 1 they would not need breastfeeding except first thing in the morning and last thing at night so breast feeding in public would be less likely

DS lost weight when I stopped bf age 14 months possibly due to starting walking, nursery and him not liking eating

I hate threads like this. I normally hide them. I will breast feed my children for as long as both they and I remain happy to. I assume other families make the same decisions for themselves, and that they care as little for my personal decision as I do theirs.