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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

331 replies

PontOffelPock · 23/01/2014 23:47

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

OP posts:
BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 27/01/2014 22:44

There's also EBM (expressed breast milk) Grin I know it's not really relevant but while you're throwing confusing acronyms around.

They're all meaningless anyway because people have different interpretations of what they mean. I know the actual definition of exclusive BF is no solids, no formula, nothing else, but some people (I think I made the mistake myself in the early weeks) think it means "no formula" and count "EBF with solids" which is an oxymoron.

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 27/01/2014 22:46

True. DS didn't sit unsupported until 9 months (after he crawled and stood up with support!) but he was clambering and grabbing food any which way he could by 5 months, it became impossible to eat within eyeline of him.

I may not have EBF for 6 months but you can't say it wasn't baby led Grin I think his first food was flapjack Blush and then buttered toast. Flapjack arguably the worst first food ever - sugar, gluten, dairy, possibly even honey Shock

Starballbunny · 27/01/2014 23:44

bertie DD2 blew the no sugar no dairy out the water, by using baby yoghurts/fromage frais instead of formula top ups.

PontOffelPock · 28/01/2014 00:28

I'm such an idiot - just realised that what EBF on MN means - all this time I had been thinking it was Expressed BFing and wondering why so many people were doing it!

OP posts:
aufaniae · 28/01/2014 00:36

FWIW I fed DS till 4.5.

I plan to feed DD till at least 2, as per the WHo guidelines, and then after that as long as it feels right for both of us.

DS never self-weaned, I weaned him in the end because I'd decided I should before he started school. He still asks for it though, (now 5.2) and I say no, but feel guilty!

confuddledDOTcom · 28/01/2014 01:28

NTBF isn't meaningless, it means that the child has self weaned without any outside help. Also what Iamavapernow said.

Expressing is usually EP I think.

On the whole "exclusive" thing, my second daughter was EBF until 10 months, although was given (not by me!) some custard from the plate of the person holding her and it dribbled straight back out. She was proper newborn baby until about 10 months. She didn't really eat for another year, I do say she was "almost exclusively BF" until 22 months because before then she barely touched food and milk was her main source of nutrition.

Advice has never been below 4 months, the first time official advice came in was in the 70s when people had been giving purées quite early for about 30 years since Second World War. Before that babies were weaned during first winter (9-12 months old). It's all to do with women taking over jobs during the war and going back to work soon after birth, mass produced formula not being very good and babies needing the addition of purée quite quickly to cope with it. That's 70 years of history in one paragraph!

naty1 · 28/01/2014 08:48

Confuddled why did you decide no solids till then?

atthestrokeoftwelve · 28/01/2014 09:14

confuddled my babies didn't start solids until 10 months, EBF until then, it's not unisual amongst breastfed babies- there is not the same dietary need to start solids as breastmilk is such a complete food.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 28/01/2014 09:20

My bf baby was offered solids at 6mo but didn't have more than a tiny taste of anything until 10m. He might have had maybe ten calories a day from sources other than bm between six and ten months.

Then suddenly he shocked me by wolfing down two whole Weetabix in a single sitting, and he has never looked back. Very healthy child, great eater.

naty1 · 28/01/2014 09:46

Babies are so different. From birth mine was greedy.
At 6m she moved quickly to eating a lot of solids.
But i agree a bit of pear, carrot etc doesnt have much energy in it no matter how much is given compared to milk
Although atthe according to the stats above in thread only 2% bf babies dont start solids until after 6m
I waited according to the advice then saw an article about increased risk of diabetes. There is always conflicting info :(

Showy · 28/01/2014 09:51

It's interesting that we've moved from 'as soon as they can ask for it' to 'when they can say full sentences' in the opposition to EBF stakes. I agree with Yank and often bring it up on here. Babies are born able to ask for milk. The method of asking just matures over time. And 'full sentences' is of course, completely arbitrary because some speak in full sentences at 1, some at 2, some at 3, some at 4, some never. It's just societal influence. We aren't used to seeing older children bf and something out of the ordinary, particularly associated with a part of the body fetishised by our society, is strange to somebody with no direct experience of it.

I suspect I would have found natural term bfing odd years ago. I never encountered it though. I fed dd until she self weaned at 3 and a half and it was completely natural and a continuation of a relationship, not a bizarre and arbitrary decision to feed an older child. I have a 2.4yo now and he will wean when he's ready. I've bf him every day for 2.4 years. It's not a new thing to me, it's a biological norm. I certainly don't mind other people finding it odd. It IS odd and it is new to them, seeing a 2.4yo being bf. A personal reaction to that is fine, I merely expect the person seeing it to accept that it's their reaction and no more no less. It's fine to find things strange because we all do things differently. It's believing you're right and other people are wrong or trying to impose your own beliefs on other people which is the problem. The problem with it being seen as 'odd' needs tackling from a societal level, not a personal level. It's just conditioning. We don't see it around us or depicted in any way other than the terms described above. It seems to be erroneously linked to a type of parent I've never met. Wishy-washy, tofu-knitting, patchouli-wearing hippies apparently. I suspect I do conform to the stereotype a bit. I am a pacifistic hippy wearing mostly patchwork. I do co-sleep and used a sling exclusively and I am AP up the wazoo. I should point out though that I might not shout and I don't say no either but I am not afraid to deny things or set boundaries. In fact, you'll find that like a lot of AP parents, I have very high expectations of my children and their behaviour and thus far, both dc are well-rounded, well-behaved and lovely people. The AP = can't say no thing is such a massive myth.

I find lots of things odd. Like pushchairs and reins and purees. But that's because I don't use them, they're just unfamiliar. I understand on a practical level why they're a good idea and know that my reaction comes merely from my own life experiences. Sadly, the difference remains that society paints some things as normal or 'acceptable' and others as odd.

And all that 'keeping a child a baby', 'all about the mother', 'sexual and creepy' stuff is bollocks. That's definitely all about the person doing the criticising and just an expression of ignorance.

Showy · 28/01/2014 09:56

Both of mine fall into the 2%.

Food was readily available to both of them and they sat with us at meal times. DD wasn't able to pick up and eat something until 27 weeks so only just fitted into the 2%. DS would have been eating at about 23 weeks and was showing all the signs of being about to eat something but then came down with pneumonia and was in hospital, refused everything bar breastfeeding and sleeping for a few weeks so his first solids were then around 27 weeks when he was better.

Starballbunny · 28/01/2014 10:11

If you have a child who screams in a sling and runs off continuously, neither push chairs nor reins seem odd. Nor does the fact that that very independent child is my DD1 who also point blank refused to BF.

Perennially BFing DD2 happily held hands and had the sense and social awareness to keep her adult in sight. (Never tried her in a sling, having bought go anywhere mountain buggy for DD1)

DD1 is (15) she still wanders off in her own world and DD2(12) shrugs in exasperation.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 28/01/2014 10:22

I didn't use buggy or reins either, children who are parented by AP techniques tend not to run off- they usually want to be beside their parents when in road type situations as they tend to have a high sense of their own personal safety.

choceyes · 28/01/2014 10:36

Still feeding DD who is nearly 3.5yrs. I think it is acceptable up to the point where milk teeth falls off, and adult teeth appear, and they can no longer latch on. That's natures cue to stop isn't it?

For me however I defnitely will be stopping when DD starts school in Sept, shortly after she turns 4. I only feed her at bedtime, even then not everyday if I have to be out before bedtime, so maybe 5 times a week in total.

Showy · 28/01/2014 10:37

Starball, like I said, they have great practical applications and I understand them on an objective level. But I find them odd because I never used them. I was trying to illustrate that what seems normal to you is, well, what's normal to you and even if something else isn't intrinsically 'odd', it can feel that way. Difference being that pushchairs and reins are seen everywhere, extended bfing is seen nowhere so those people who are feeding an older child are already fighting an uphill battle. If society and the media could promote bfing in the same way it promoted pushchairs, it wouldn't feel odd to people. Or not even promote it, just stop fetishising it.

naty1 · 28/01/2014 10:47

Of course ebf doesnt make money in the same way :(
Im impressed they dont run off but think that must also be personality.
I think carrying them cant be too good for joints.
I think walking as much as poss and pushchair for when they are tired. Or you are from chasing them.
I can understand the obesity problem though i rarely see people walking a 1 year old even with reins. (Too easily distracted and tired.

choceyes · 28/01/2014 10:47

DD also hardly ate anything till she was 12 months old. just the odd bit of fruit or meat, oh avocadoes mainly.
She is a very good eater now.

naty1 · 28/01/2014 10:47

Of course ebf doesnt make money in the same way :(
Im impressed they dont run off but think that must also be personality.
I think carrying them cant be too good for joints.
I think walking as much as poss and pushchair for when they are tired. Or you are from chasing them.
I can understand the obesity problem though i rarely see people walking a 1 year old even with reins. (Too easily distracted and tired.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 28/01/2014 10:50

Maybe people live places where a pushchair has no use- I do.

Starballbunny · 28/01/2014 10:50

showy I got that. All parents and all children are different. My two are utter opposites.

You probably could have done AP with DD2, but DD1 is too independent by nature. She wouldn't BF, co sleep or go in a sling. If you swaddled her or put her in a sling she screamed.

She ran off because she felt perfectly safe on her own (from 2.5 she stopped at roads ands and even driveways).

No and more often NO! Get DOWN! Were essential because she fiddled with and climbed everything.

Her toy playing with, bookcase leaving alone sister was a revaluation.

Also DCs can still latch on with adult teeth, that is a total, myth

atthestrokeoftwelve · 28/01/2014 10:54

starball if your 2.5 year old was so safety conscious why did you spend so much time shouting NO?

Showy · 28/01/2014 11:04

My two are utter opposites in most ways too. I have a biddable, people-pleasing, thoughtful, calm child who never tantrummed and has always been pleasant and even-tempered, never misbehaved. And then one who runs away, tantrums, climbs, shrieks, throws things, protests and generally can't sit still for a second. Grin

Paintyfingers · 28/01/2014 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starballbunny · 28/01/2014 11:10

She was great at stopping for roads, not so good at not climbing things she shouldn't and diabolical at picking up everything she shouldn't touch.

She would walk across a whole room of toys and 5 other toddlers playing nicely to pick up someone's precious holiday memento.

Neither distraction or no worked for more than 20 seconds. The why is linked to being dyslexic and it's effects on picking up social cues and is a whole other thread.

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