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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

331 replies

PontOffelPock · 23/01/2014 23:47

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

OP posts:
naty1 · 27/01/2014 14:26

I dont know why, i find drinking ape milk funny.
Some cultures are lactose intolerant as adults.
I wonder if 1 day formula will be human milk based.
Its not so much the cows milk thats the problem its whats in it from commercial farming.
Same with formula i do worry a bit whats in it. Just from the pt they pump all our adult food with sugar additives etc. it was only when i looked for soy on the packet i realised all the stuff in it. Sure its fine/ great (and lifesaving sometimes)but still glad i could go straight to cows milk as at least the ingredients list is very short.
Its not new to drink cows milk though is it(dont think)
.

Iamavapernow · 27/01/2014 14:28

Newer than drinking human milk.....

Viviennemary · 27/01/2014 14:32

I think around two. But people all have different ideas. And I wouldn't dream of telling anybody what they should do unless they asked.

blueberryupsidedown · 27/01/2014 14:34

'Acceptable' is a strange word. Very judgmental in itself.

I'd say 4 years old, but it's not 'unacceptable' above that it's just a bit odd.

naty1 · 27/01/2014 14:45

Logically i assume it may have been around the same time as soon as people realised they could as in a group if you couldnt bf and no other women had just had babies the baby would die ( though not sure, would a baby survive on cows milk.) i think there are women who make no milk etc or mum died.

Seff · 27/01/2014 15:03

At that time, the baby would have been handed to another lactating mum to feed, they wouldn't just have left it to die, surely?

I would hazard a guess that babies being unable to feed from their mothers would be the first reason to give milk from another species. Why would an adult have thought to try it when they knew that milk was for their young?

I really can't explain why I think drinking ape milk is strange, but am happy to have cow milk on my cereal. That's not a biological thing, it's something that is passed onto us through society. The nature vs nurture thing has always interested me though.

EauRouge · 27/01/2014 15:17

There's a lot about cultural influences in The Politics of Breastfeeding. In this country especially, breasts are fetishised and so their primary function isn't really considered by a lot of women until they become pregnant.

Historically, noble women were made to hand their babies over to wet nurses so that their periods returned more quickly and they were able to keep churning out heirs.

And of course there's been a lot of formula advertising designed to put women off breastfeeding- it's not as blatant any more but it's still there despite the WHO code.

naty1 · 27/01/2014 15:33

Yes of course as i did say not always going to have another lactating mother nearby. Although i guess then there were more babies. And cows milk would be temporary till they got someone.
Interesting about the heirs hadnt thought of that. Just thought rich back then wouldnt socially want to or be tied to the nursery. But for everyone else nursing would make their offspring more likely to survive.
I have to say i think thats still true hence bf my ivf baby, so vulverable esp until injections are done. I wanted to continue until after mmr

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 27/01/2014 15:35

Yes babies would have been wet nursed. Also it's dying out now, but in some cultures aunts, grandmothers etc will step in to breastfeed a baby whose mother is ill, dead or unable to feed for whatever reason, even if they've never had a child of their own or they are post menopausal. And they do produce milk. The human body is truly an amazing thing.

In some parts of rural India women will share childcare and breastfeed each others' children, it's so common that children who both had milk from the same woman are called "milk siblings" and it's illegal or taboo for them to marry one another.

Oblomov · 27/01/2014 15:47

3
Maybe a bit younger.
Between 2 and 3.
Like LaVita says, once they are able to speak in sentences.
And are potty trained and eating all foodstuffs.
My friends daughter is about 2.5 and I think after that.
I don't think I find it 'uncomfortable' until the idea of children bf'ing at the primary/starting reception age.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 27/01/2014 15:52

Why does "speaking in sentences" mean the need to stop breastfeeding?

lilyaldrin · 27/01/2014 15:56

My friend's DD was speaking in sentences at 18 months, my DS wasn't until about 2.5. Speaking in sentences does seem like an odd point at which to say a child doesn't need milk anymore.

leedy · 27/01/2014 16:04

Yes, my DS2 spoke in sentences at 18 months as well. Including the time I realized my supply did indeed dip before my period by hearing an irate little voice going "Mammy! Dis milk broken!". :)

atthestrokeoftwelve · 27/01/2014 16:06

My DD had a spech delay and didn't start speaking sentences till 4 and a half- so it was acceptable to breastfeed her till that age then?

I don't get the connection.

hellymelly · 27/01/2014 16:44

Pre babies I was pretty shocked when I met a woman who had fed her DD until 6, although 2 or three seemed fine in my mind. Dd1 stopped at nearly 2 and a half, when her sister was born. Then I had my 2nd DD who just didn't want to stop, and I didn't really mind either way, so it ended up being until she was five and a half, and it only stopped then as I needed some nasty antibiotics that weren't ok for her. I didn't feed when out past about 2 though, partly as it had dropped to waking and sleep time, and party due to the horrified attitudes of other people, which makes me feel rather sad. The focus on length of feeding is always on the mother, as though she is somehow forcing her child to feed, but actually if we left it up to toddlers, most would go on until 6 or so I imagine.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 27/01/2014 16:54

Helly- I agree- I remember hearing about a BBC news presenter years ago who was breastfeeding her 4 year old.
This was before I was a parent and I remember thinking it was just very weird.

I never thought I would become one of those weirdos when I was pregnant with my first. I planned to stop at 6 months, more than enough.

Well 6 months came and went, same with a year, my DS showed no signs of stopping and it was such an amazingly useful tool for the toddler years.
I became pregnant again, breastfed all the way though my second pregnancy and beyond, tandem feeding my baby and toddler.
Eventually my children stopped at 4 and 5 years.

So I had become one of those weird women and I realise how misinformed and opinionated I had been years before.

I would echo that there is a bizarre idea that breastfeeding to term is done for the mother's benefit- Most women I have met feeding older children- and I have known over 100, breathe a huge sigh of relief and the knowledge of a job well done.

Extennded breastfeeding can be difficult to understand unless you have personal experience.

ChutesTooNarrow · 27/01/2014 17:27

Why on earth is speaking in sentences now defining the acceptableness of breastfeeding? I'm slightly speechless.

My understanding is that humans have the ability to breastfeed until their adult teeth start to appear and change their jaw shape. So up to the age of 7 or 8 is when we were designed to breastfeed. Do we question anything else our bodies were designed for so viciously?

atthestrokeoftwelve · 27/01/2014 17:34

chutes- some people are just clutching at ideas in the air, with no sound biological, cultural or medical evidence to support their statements.
It's prejudice and intolerance plain and simple.

ChutesTooNarrow · 27/01/2014 17:43

They really are, and I really hope they appreciate they are starting to make me, and probably others, feel a bit crap now.

miffybun73 · 27/01/2014 17:45

Probably age 2.

EauRouge · 27/01/2014 17:45

I think it's good to get all these 'reasons' to wean out in the open; by discussing them we can see that there are no real reasons behind them, just culturally accepted norms.

I hope that the people who have made statements like 'all about the mother' 'creepy at school age' etc are going to stick around and join in the discussion.

Paintyfingers · 27/01/2014 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 27/01/2014 18:27

DD is on a nursing strike at the moment, so it may well be the end but I hope not. If so, it'll be 9 1/2 months if so. If not, I would say for me I wouldn't go further than 2 years old. However, I honestly don't know how I would feel if DD got to that age and still wanted to breastfeed.

I personally don't care when someone else finishes breastfeeding their child. However, if someone feeds a child over 2ish in public I'd find it a little strange, but I wouldn't say anything and certainly wouldn't think it bad to feed at that age, just publically it would seem a bit strange.

Before I had my DD I didn't really know how long I was going to breastfeed for. When DD was born I aimed for 3 months. I couldn't completely feed her on just breastmilk as we had some problems but I fed her during the night and pumped during the day and have done ever since. I then aimed for 6 months, then 9 months and I hoped that I would go to a year now and then begin to wean off (perhaps). I love feeding her so much, it's a great bonding thing that we have which is why I am :( about the nursing strike.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 27/01/2014 18:34

Gimme- some people find it a little odd to be feeding a 10 month old. Just food for thought.

What's going on with the nursing strike? Any reason you can identify? How long has it lasted? What have you tried so far?

TheBookofRuth · 27/01/2014 18:41

Funny how some people are claiming that NTBF is all about the mother, yet when women give reasons such as "I couldn't wait to get my body back" for stopping, that's not?

I'm not knocking that reason, btw. I've had moments myself of thinking "oh for god's sake DD, will you just leave me alone!" when she's been feeding a lot. But it's hard to see that carrying on in spite of that feeling is somehow all about me! I'm not the one climbing all over her demanding she breast feeds!