Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

[PontOffelPock]

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

For goodness sake, MamaPingu, why? Why would you rather they have milk designed for baby cows instead of milk designed for baby people?!

I wonder if people would change opinion if it was the only way to avoid keep getting pregnant?

I try to avoid saying no to ds, but still say it dozens of times a day (no you can't walk in the road, no you can't have a biscuit, don't hit, no you can't have bf before bath...). And I put real effort into getting him to sleep in his own cot un his own room.

We have an ergo but that's because we needed a comfortable carrieras we live in the country. I purger taking him out in the buggy but take the ergo if he's determined to walk himself (easier to manage him and he's too heavy to carry in my arms for long when he gets tired) or if it'll be off road.

Oh and I have a BSc and an MSc in from good universities, run my own consultancy and wear normal high street clothes except where I make my own because they fit better

I just enjoy the closeness of bfing and having a toddler is enough of a battle without removing a comforting tool.

I think to breastfeed for between 6 mths and 4 or 5 years is optimal really.
There's no way I'd breastfeed for anything like that long personally,but I think its good when other people do.

why is it more socially acceptable to see a child drinking Capri Fucking Sun than seeing them take milk from their mother??

Yep this, exactly.

I have a question for those who EBF and BF at bedtime. Does that mean that you always have to be there at bedtime? Or can your DC get to sleep quite happily without BF?

It is just how I feel about it.

I like how if you think it's ok to bf until they're 4 that's a perfectly acceptable opinion, but if you find it odd that a walking talking child is still feeding from their mothers breast that opinion is ofc invalid!
Bf is wonderful for a newborn and I think it's brilliant when women decide to do it, I just personally feel it's a little odd when they're getting older and they are no longer a baby and are growing up! Bf is a wonderful thing I just think some mums are doing it for their own benefit as they don't want their baby to grow up

Although I know I'm going to get attacked for the suggestion!

Oh that old line, it's for the mothers benefit! Have you actually read this thread where several people, utterly weary of hearing that nonsense, have eloquently debunked it?

And have a think about why first teeth are called milk teeth, and the average age they fall out.

MamaPingu, that's your opinion which is fine, but why is milk for a calf more appropriate than milk for a human? Is that not a little odd when they're older and are no longer a baby and are growing up?

MamaPingu - i think the question was specifically why do you think cows milk designed for cows is better than human milk designed for humans?

Re: Atthe strokes aunt - there are some great putdowns here.

Minipie - my ds (3) sometimes goes to sleep while having a bedtime bf, other times he doesn't and settles himself. It is still part of the bedtime routine but we don't depend on it for him to go to sleep. We'll carry on for as long as he wants it and i'm able to give it.

The cows milk in a sippy cup was just an example of an alternative.

I know you will respond with it is no replacement for their mothers milk which I agree. But I feel that they don't actually NEED breast milk at three years old if they are receiving a well balanced and nutritious diet. A sippy cup with milk could also be a comfort.

To me personally maintaining breast feeding until a late age is for some mothers a way to keep their DC a baby

I don't see why people are mentioning how I'd disagree if I saw their DC fall asleep on the breast. My DS has been self settling since around a month old and it's just as wonderful to watch even when not on the breast. I like his independence from me!

If they don't need breast milk they certainly don't need milk from another species of animal! Why would you bother giving them milk at all??!

I don't need to keep DD a baby. I've got a baby growing in my belly.

Minipie it changed through the ages. At one stage DS would go to sleep with a bottle of expressed milk instead. Then when he was about 1 he would just wait for me to get back (I didn't leave him overnight until he was about 2.5, but that was more personal choice than necessity!) Somewhere between 1 and 2 he changed again and would go to sleep for others without milk but not me. Eventually he started going to sleep without milk for me too and then just asked for it less and less.

I didn't have a supportive partner, though, at that time so it was always me. From speaking to friends who had husbands who were involved it was different.

How can you watch a baby self settle? Surely that's an oxymoron. Unless I suppose you have one of those fancy video monitors.

Just personal choice I suppose. I love seeing DS be independent too, but I wouldn't at one month old. At one month old I had a really strong drive/need to have him close to me at all times. I know not everyone feels that and that's fine. But I have definitely enjoyed seeing him come into his own and be independent in his own time. Which is not to say that you forced your one month old to self settle - some babies just do!

Breastfeeding a toddler was just one of the things I did that allowed my child to have independence, courage, to explore and be curious as the security that he could come back to me and connect through breastfeeding helped him immensely. He was weaned just shy of his third birthday, he wasn't ready and I incredibly regret it. I did not breastfeed him to keep him a baby, I did it to help him grow up.

I have no desire to keep my ds as a baby. He is an independent spirit with his own ideas about things.

If i have a selfish reason to keep bf it is probably only that the longer i bf for the more protection i may have against bc in the future. As my mum has had bc twice that is a significant concern. It is not however WHY i still bf, it is just another benefit. I chose to do extended bf in the first place as ds has a dairy allergy, and it was the sensible thing to do, without having to rely on highly processed medicalised alternatives. The main reason though why i still do it now is because my ds has no desire to stop and i have no good reason to stop.

That is just a small selection of the reasons i still bf - none have anything to do with keeping my ds a baby. When we do stop it will be because that is the right time for my us and certainly won't be because of other peoples ill informed distaste at it.

I am feeding a 4 year old and a 1 year old, my other child self weaned at 5. I have confident independent children.

I say no to lots of things, but not to things that I consider to be healthy for them, I may say no to a chocolate, but there is a fruit bowl permanently accessible to them as I see no reason to deny them fruit.

There are massive benefits to breast feeding that don't just stop at a certain age and there is also the benefit of shared immunity that are best obtained by nursing at the breast.

Expressing into a cup would not maximise those benefits, plus I see no reason to - breast being utilised to feed a child is exactly their purpose.

There are various countries both developed and not, where long term feeding is the norm.

I personally think once they are at the age where they have named your boobs.

Mamapingu

Have you ever breastfed?

All breastfeeding mums who have BF a toddler will laugh at how ridiculous you saying that is. The mum is doing it for herself? To keep their DC as babies?

You try to 'make' a toddler BF if they don't want to, then you'd see how ignorant your opinion is. Honestly, I value my nipples, if my toddler doesn't want to BF then there's no way I'm going to try and make her do so.

I bf my first (dd) until she was 4.6yrs, and my ds until he was 6yrs. (so, tandeming for 2 yrs too)
So I'd have to say around 7/8 yrs I think - IMHO they can still feel very small until around then, especially when tired in the evening, or if upset, or hurt.
But I'd try not to get judgey whenever a mother feels is right for her and her child. I'd trust her to know best on the whole

I can leave ds overnight fine. He had a breaker of milk and a story and settles down in his cot with his breast much lie he does when he doesn't go fully to sleep after the evening bf.

And have you tried getting a toddler to easy food they don't want? I don't force ds to bf because bitten nipples hurt.

This morning he feed himself a bowl of porridge, we went shopping and he helped push the trolley until he could be bribed to sit in it when we reached the biscuits. He carried a few light things in, had toast, we did a few puzzles together until he got tired and grumpy so now he's sat on my lap having some milk and shoving bear into my face Nice and snugly, makes him sleepy when he's tied and I have a hand free to mn.