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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

only 12 days in and I feel like giving up already

146 replies

sprite25 · 25/12/2013 22:08

DD is only 12 days old and I've been trying my hardest to breast feed but really starting to get to the end of my tether with it. DD has had multiple problems (nothing major) but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm still having visits from my MW who has helped and I feel better after her visits but always end up back at square 1 feeling exhausted and frustrated literally to tears (even today). Despite feeding DD for around an hour and half we're still having to top up her up with cup feeding formula. Should I just give up the ghost now and switch to bottles and formula???

OP posts:
sprite25 · 28/12/2013 13:53

This is true, I know babies often sick up formula and that due to me worrying about her being hungry I might be giving her abit too much. I just want her to be happy and healthy and feel like she's not quite either because of me.

OP posts:
leonardofquirm · 28/12/2013 14:06

Maybe try 1 oz at a time? 3 could be a lot for a wee tummy?

I can try and find the link for the helplines if you fancy it?

NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 14:07

She's fine, she has love. You are both learning and it doesn't have to be perfect in the way we all expect for our first born.

leonardofquirm · 28/12/2013 14:15

www.mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding-advice-and-support

leonardofquirm · 28/12/2013 14:16

www.mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding-advice-and-support

Link fail!

Got to go now but helplines etc on above page.

leonardofquirm · 28/12/2013 14:17

www.mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding-advice-and-support

Beastofburden · 28/12/2013 14:18

Really, it's two weeks. No time at all. Of course she is happy and healthy. All babies make weird fusses and puke over things. If you had the exact same baby and experience as a mother of six already, you would just be having a cup of tea and saying to your mates, "oh this one, she's a bit of a puker, not a fast feeder, whinges a bit at night, ah well, she'll settle down". You should have seen DS2, he could puke for England, if he'd been my first I would have been beside myself.

In the nicest way, this is not you at your most rational Flowers. Stop trying to draw big conclusions about her general health and happiness from little things. Your MW will make sure no harm comes to her. Mixed feeding, BF, FF, whatever.

Get some fresh air and sunlight and a little rest.

ChocolateHelps · 28/12/2013 14:34

Baby could have reflux. Unsettled, bf often (little and often feeds help keep stomach acid down). Lots of milk in one go can just come back up again if the stomach sphincter muscle is too floppy.

Really really strongly urge a call to LLL helpline 08451202918

No one will try and make you bf or tell you to do anything you don't want to do. The LLL leader will listen to you and will want to hear all about baby; birth, size at birth, tongue tie, weight gain or loss, being sicky and can help you come up with a plan for the next few days

Has anyone explained breast compression and switch nursing for sleepy baby? Helps get more milk in baby in a shorter time frame

Also, you only need to sterilise breast pump once in 24hrs. Anything that touches baby's mouth should be sterilised but the pump just in morning or evening and give to DP as his job

If you can, pls call LLL and run thru what's happened and ask about breast compression and sterilising

Good luck. It does all get easier but it can be one he'll of a roller coaster ride!!!

SoloXantiaClaws · 28/12/2013 15:49

OP, THESE are brilliant for very fast healing. I used them myself and was amazed at the speed of healing. Expensive, but if you want to continue to bf and not be sore...well worth the investment for both you and your Dd.

sprite25 · 28/12/2013 16:12

Will ask MW about reflux etc. when she visits on Monday even if its just to rule it out. Took DD for a walk in her pram, she slept through sirens, buses going past, cars beeping etc. But her eyes shot open as soon as we came through the front door, how do they know?! Going to keep trying her with the formula just in a little bits at a time. Thanks for all the links/suggestions, I really appreciate all the support on here

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crikeybadger · 28/12/2013 16:15

Agree with Leonard about not diluting formula, this is not advised now.

Personally, I think you need some real face to face support to work out what you want to do. Everyone has offered their different experiences and these threads are great for support but we're not in your shoes and we can't see your baby. Smile

sprite25 · 28/12/2013 17:00

I think your right, as much as the MW is supportive, the 15 minute visits we have with her just arnt enough, especially when alot of that time is taken up with weighing baby, writing notes etc. When she comes on Monday afternoon I will ask if there's anyone she can refer me to for some proper one to one help.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 18:02

sprite if you are struggling a bit, you can phone the midwives' contact no first thing, or the hospital maternity ward, and ask for advice to keep you going. You are completely entitled to do that. }}Hugs{.

With respect to the diluted formula, 18 years, 45 weeks ago I was told by a former a&e sister who had taken over the breast pump hire service for the nct to start the baby on diuted formula: working up from quarter strength over two to three days. If your baby and you are struggling at present and if that helps acclimatise her to formula I can't see why it woulkd be a problem, esp if she's bringing up the feeds. Bette to keep a little down than none in my opinion. I'm not an expert but it worked for us and we were sorted in a few days. Plkease ask for midwife help tomorrow and make an appointment to see your gp on monday. They are the expeets at the end of the day.{

GeorgieJo · 28/12/2013 18:41

sprite just wanted to say I was also in a similar position. My ds is now 11 weeks old. For the first four weeks breast feeding was horrendous - non-stop and really painful.

We started using formula top-ups at 3 weeks because most days I fed continuously from 4 - 9pm and felt on the edge of a breakdown by the end of it. Nonetheless I cried every time he had a bottle.

We continued using formula top ups after feeds for about 10 days, and then after much advice from MN and (crucially) two sessions with a lactation consultant, we stopped using formula.

(I am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with ff, but I really wanted to bf for the first 16 weeks, as I will then be going back to work!)

What worked for me was:

  • a great lactation consultant. She spent nearly 3 hours with me, watching us, improving the latch, showing me how I could co-sleep safely and listening to all my concerns. She also gave me masses of follow-up support (phone calls as well as a second visit). Made a huge amount of difference having expert advice, and a sympathetic ear. Not cheap but - for me - worth every penny.
  • getting my nipples to heal by leaving them exposed to the air as much as possible (not dignified but it worked!) and applying Green People organic balm (Lanolin didn't help me at all)
  • doing all feeds from 4pm lying down
  • introducing a bath at 630ish, followed by a massage. DS loves the water, seemed to really relax him, making the rest of the evening much calmer. Also meant that I got 30 min break (my mother came over to do bath time).

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that - in my experience - there are no hard and fasts. I mixed fed, went back to ebf and now I am a month away from going back to work I am thinking about whether to stay ebf by pumping while at work, mix feed or switch to ff.

However I now feel much much more relaxed because I realise, as others have said, mothering is about much much more than feeding!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

sprite25 · 28/12/2013 20:03

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, hearing other peoples views does help. Am again in tears and feeling so down as had a rather horrible afternoon with DD. Despite having 4 ounces of formula after a walk out in the pram, she still didn't settle (as in stop screaming) until she fed from me for the best part of 2 hours. She's asleep on my lap but im terrified of making the slightest movement in case she wakes up again (I hate feeling that way as I should be enjoying her). I've been trying for the past 3 days to express some milk but literally haven't had the chance. Before I got to post this DD woke up screaming, we tried everything to settle her but nothing has worked. I'm starting to think there's something wrong other then just she's not getting enough from the breast as she had formula only a couple of hours ago and has been on the breast pretty much since :(

OP posts:
crikeybadger · 28/12/2013 20:06

Yes sprite, you could ask if there is someone called an infant feeding specialist that you can see. Most PCT's should have one.

NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 20:23

She's settling into a new routine with the formula and so are you. You are both so new to this. Just go with the flow - if she's asleep close your eyes, rest is the best way to make milk. give her to your DH with a bottle and go to bed. Snuggle down, wiggle our toes, think of scented flowers and the warm sun on you. Let her sleep on your DH a bit, she can't smell the milk on him and might settle better. It's such early days.

sprite25 · 28/12/2013 21:56

Gave DD around 2 and a half ounces of formula spread over about an hour, got 4 big burps out of her, held her upright and thought she had settled....then she threw it all up again. Just dont even know what to do anymore, got a feeling its gonna be a long night

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 21:59

Does she throw up the breast milk too?

arosepetal · 28/12/2013 22:05

When I had my little one I was determined to bf. had no plans to ff at all so no bottles at home, no idea of what formula to use. I 'thought' I was feeding her fine, it was only on the 5th day that my midwife came to see me and told me she had lost so much weight that we would need to be admitted into hospital. As soon as we went in she was given a bottle which she finished,

arosepetal · 28/12/2013 22:09

Continued to ff, bf and express for 6 weeks after this and felt I wasn't enjoying quality time with her, eventually decided to ff only and felt guilty for ages...but now I know that I tried my best and a happy mummy rubs off onto a happy baby. Do what feels best for you don't worry about other people or that guilty feeling.x

crikeybadger · 28/12/2013 22:33

Sorry you've had a crap afternoon Hmm
Babies like to be close to their mums - they know the smell, like the warmth and can hear the familiar heart beat. Some babies take a bit of time to get used to life outside the womb ( have a google of fourth trimester aka why your baby is only happy in your arms )They have teeny tummies too so they do often want to feed really often.

You do need to rest for your own recovery and well being, but it doesn't assist in milk making, the same goes for drinking water and eating special foods. You just need to drink to thirst.

It might be worth having another chat with your mw and discussing the vomiting and see what they say.

Oh and finally, just in case no one has mentioned this...you can feed from one breast, then offer the other, then go back to the first side again (and back to the second) etc. Make sure your latch is as deep as possible and that your nipple comes out the same shape as it went in.Smile

sprite25 · 28/12/2013 23:02

She never threw up until she had a bottle, she took breast milk and formula from a cup with no problem. I'm feeling so tired of all this now.

OP posts:
NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 23:04

Call the midwife in the morning.

Sparkeleigh · 29/12/2013 00:44

Hi sprite, just a few ideas that might help - my DS had terrible wind and incredibly projectile vomits taking expressed breast milk from Tommie tippee bottles, we switched to Dr Browns bottles and that helped, he hasn't massively vomited since. I got them in Tesco and boots.

He also had tongue tie for the first 6 weeks, it could be worth contacting a lactation consultant to rule it out, it was a la leche league leader who diagnosed DS's, it was missed in hospital despite them refusing to discharge us because of his feeding problems and my midwives and my HV practically insisted he didn't have one. Once it was clipped he fed so much better.

I expressed for those 6 weeks and there is absolutely no way I could have managed it without my DH doing night feeds and changes while I expressed and my mum helping out during the day, so be kind to yourself, it's really hard. Fenugreek capsules really boosted my milk supply too.

Good luck and I really recommend contacting the la leche league, they know their stuff.

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