Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

[gail734]

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

i don't watch them but a lot of people do, those who BF, those who don't, those who think it's disgusting, young people and children where it would be good to normalise it and show it as nothing to be hidden away. they've tackled rape, murder, child abuse, HIV, DV, incest, torture, gay storylines, racism etc - thoink they can handle some BF.

By suggesting BF is shown on television I wasn't particularly thinking big emphasis and close up shots necessarily.
I don't watch loads of soaps but lots of people do. Someone in the background breastfeeding in a cafe or hospital waiting room during panning shot is all that's needed to begin to normalise it. Just little subconscious nudges towards Bf.
I guess it's not really the producers' top priority.

I also think bf could be mentioned alongside ff when children are learning about nutrition, my 9 and 10 year old knew nothing when Dc3 was born but can happily explain the main food groups for healthy eating.

Just remembered one actually, when she was born, after a farcical delivery, a midwife started to take her away to clean up etc "aren't I supposed to put her on the breast?" shocked look "You WANT to breast feed?" (just over 13 years ago)

yes I'm not talking about making an issue of it on telly or the soaps - just to show it happening as they seem to show everything else.

Breastfeeding is the thing that most new mothers spend most time doing when they have a tiny baby, so how soaps with new baby story lines, and reality TV shows like One Born Every Minute manage to make it largely bloody invisible is beyond me.

I find it very funny that when I feed DD on picking her up from the childminders, the older children being minded always come over for a look as if they've NEVER seen such a strange thing before .

I am very happy to normalise bfeeding a toddler for them :)

No one ever said anything negative to me but the HR did suggest that I express my milk in a toilet cubicle, until I told her that by law they were required to provide me with somewhere quiet to express which wasn't a place where people went to defecate and urinate!!!

I was once waiting for a friend (in a steamed up car in the rain) in the car park of the breast screening unit at our local hospital. My DS needed feeding, so of course I did.
Immediately some jobsworth car park official banged on my window and told me "You can't do that here".
I smiled nicely at him and said "I think you'll find I can" and I did.
He scowled at me for a long time and pointed me out to his mate, then they both scowled at me until we left.

The only negativity I've had is from family and a close friend. My sis and bil asked me not to bf my 15 month old dd their wedding in case I offended other guests so I was given a small room with cleaning implements and a toilet in so I could hide away. I told them I was offended by the request but didn't make a big fuss as it was their day. My step mum regularly asked me how long I was going to continue for ( I did until dd was 20 months when she self weaned). And my best friend asked the same and when I said until she is ready to stop, she said "well just as long as you're not going to do it until she's three, that would be gross". None of these people had kids so maybe goes some way to explain the negativity. From strangers I've only had nice comments, especially older ladies saying what a great mum I was.
I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, even though I couldn't wait for dd to self wean towards the end as she was doing 2 hour mammoth feeds before bed!

Thirty years ago I fed my two when and where I wanted. including the queue at the Antiques Roadshow and the back of the Coroner's Court in Kettering. Never had a problem.

FIL was a bit and a bit [embarrassed] at first, but he got used to it.

Now, as an older lady, I'm always delighted to see women BF and I tell my work colleagues,"if you don't BF I will come round and counsel you!"

Oops [embarrassed] natch

I EBF my Dd until 6m, in all sorts of places including a train absolutely packed with 11-14 year old boys & girls coming home from school, cafes, & standing by our main road through town while the Olympic torch went past, Dd was about 1m old. No-one ever stared, looked pointedly away or made any nasty comments, except my mum & sister who were obsessed with rushing me off to private rooms, covering me up with massive heavy fleece coats etc. They were both aware a) it was a heatwave b) my Dd was dreadfully grumpy when she got too hot & c) I was still fainting regularly when I got too hot due to stupid hormones not going back to normal. They both made me feel like it was something to be ashamed of, which really pissed me off.

RockinD

Now, as an older lady, I'm always delighted to see women BF and I tell my work colleagues,"if you don't BF I will come round and counsel you!"

Not sure if you're serious here, but pleeeeeeeeese don't do this. As someone who tried to breastfeed and had the most utterly miserable time of my life doing it and eventually had to quit even after extensive help from all kinds of experts, I think this would have sent me over the edge....

Hello

This isn't an AIBU, so we've moved it to Breast and Bottle Feeding.

Once...in a restaurant, DD1 would have been about 6mth, waitor came and asked me.if i would have been more comfortable in the bathroom i smiled at him and asked him if he would like th eat his dinner in the loo? He also got 'the stare' from the 9 extended family members i went on to breastfeed her until she was 16mth and her sister until 9mth (self weaned ). I breastfed on buses, trains, cafes, at DD1s nursery during a talk about DD2 as the topic was babies (massive screaming fit when she was 2wk old and starving!) and once even walking through the St Enoch Centre in Glasgow I miss it

Oh lots of lovely comments from mostly elderly ladies, my mum and grans were a bit but they soon got used

My brother really doesn't like it, but has conceded that it's the worry he might see his big sister's breasts. He wouldn't mind anyone else.

The only "negative" comment I've had was on a walk with DD1. A small group of us had stopped to have lunch and were feeding our babies. We were in the grounds of a sort of college for special needs teenagers, with public paths through and a cafe etc. A member of staff came and explained that they thought it was lovely but 30 students were about to come for their lunch and they didn't know how they'd react.

My 4yo niece has never seen anyone bf before, when she saw me she was once she'd seen it a few times, she came over to investigate and said "tell me when you're going to feed him with a bottle and I'll help you but it makes me a bit scared when you feed him like that"
Little love was even more when her mum said she used to be fed like that!!!

My stepFIL is quite funny, he'll come in drunk when we're visiting, make a beeline for DS feeding or not and stroke his head then will have long rambling chats with me whilst I'm feeding and not bat an eyelid, his family thinks he's mad but one of them did ask me if I was going to feed DS in the toilet when out and about think it was more out of ignorance than unkind though.

Crocodile - that is very funny!

When I was visiting my mum and many younger siblings last year (baby was about 3-4 months), my little brother (6 years old) said 'is the baby asleep?', I said "no, I'm feeding him". "But where is his bottle?", "I'm feeding him with my boobs".

His face was PRICELESS. He came in for a closer look, and made a face when he realised what was going on.
"Your boobs make milk????"
"Yup, just like a cow makes milk for her baby, I make milk for mine".
"Does it hurt you?"
"It can sometimes, but mostly no. Mum fed you like this too, you know"
!

Honestly, it was so funny. With him being the youngest, he'd never seen a baby being BF before (all the other including me have seen our mum BF our siblings), so it was a bit of a shock for him I think. I spent the next couple of days being very closely inspected each time baby wanted feeding.

Ds2 who is 10 did say "you didn't feed ds3 like that did you!" about ds4. Ds3 was prem and I expressed. Had to explain that he was also bf.

Ds1 who is 18 jokes about being the only one to be ff from the start. I did ask him to leave the room in the begining if he was sitting next to me and I had to feed from that side as I struggled with ds4s latch in the beginning.

Think I was more bothered about it than him though. He comes and kisses us both good bye if he's on his way out and I'm feeding. Im glad that even though bf hasn't been the norm for them they've been fine about it

My 2 year old niece loves watching me breast feed. She sits as close as she can and alternates striking her cousins head and my boob.

Apparently she asked my sister a few weeks ago if she could have booby milk. She wouldn't stop until my sister let her try to prove she wouldn't get any milk!!!

Crocodile that is so very very sweet!

I had no negative comments at all.
A couple of nice ones,a few little looks and nice smiles,and a few (men usually) looking into the far distance in a not-noticing sort of a way.

Thanks for this thread - this coming Tuesday will be the first long trip out with 3w/o DD1 and I'm sure we'll need to feed in public.
I have scoped out 'safe' places to go (John Lewis and Mothercare both have feeding rooms) but after reading this I'm not nervous about giving it a go anywhere!
Nice to read that the positive comments outweigh the bad!
(Plus DH can be fairly threatening looking - I'm sure that'll help!)!

LikeCandy, the first time I bf in public was when I was stuck in a hospital waiting room with DD, full to the brim of people, all bored as we were delayed for hours. I was so nervous as the seats were in a horse-shoe formation, so it felt like I had an audience!

I just got on with it, and was looking around defiantly waiting for someone to make a comment- but nada! Once I'd done it once I was fine, and it made life so much easier, before that I had to have a plan of action centred around John Lewis, Mother care etc

Hope it goes well for you.

Thanks blending!