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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

350 replies

gail734 · 12/04/2013 18:52

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2013 23:32

No..but if they had ..I would have ripped their faces off...

rainbow2000 · 12/04/2013 23:33

But in this day and age id love someone to say something.Unfortunately im no longer bf which is a shame.

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2013 23:34

Actually when I think back someone tried to talk to me about feeding my baby in the toilets...I said would you eat your meal in the toilets??..don't piss me off!

whodunnit · 12/04/2013 23:36

fed 3 DC for 15 months each and never got a comment. I often want to say something nice to feeding mums, but can't think what.

I once heard someone using BF as a weapon to embarass the bank manager into agreeing a loan. Started feeding the babe in the loan interview.... probably very wrong to do but amusing to me.

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2013 23:36

I think I had I 'don't piss me off I'm breast-feeding face' Grin

GetWhatYouNeed · 12/04/2013 23:36

22 years ago, sitting on a bench feeding couple of months old dd very discreetly in Sissinghurst castle gardens, along came another young couple who sat on the only other free bench opposite us, looked at us, muttered to each other then got up, lifted the bench, turned it round and sat down facing the other way! never forgotten it.

BreatheandFlyAway · 12/04/2013 23:37

I was once driving through central London with baby ds and he was screaming fit to bust, to the point I wasn't sure how safe I was to drive. I pulled over in a bit of a panic, sat in passenger seat and quickly popped him on to feed (instant blissful silence! Smile)

A male traffic warden on a clear mission instantly appeared (I was on a yellow in the day time). I opened the window and before I could say anything, he saw baby feeding and instantly softened completely and said kindly, "you take all the time you like, love" and walked on. He walked past a few more times (In the course of his job, not weirdly!) and nodded kindly in my direction throughout the long breastfeed. It was a lovely memory of bfing. Thank you, traffic warden!

thenightsky · 12/04/2013 23:38

I breastfed both mine in 1986 and 1991 and never had a word said. Perhaps things are getting worse instead of better Sad

samithesausage · 12/04/2013 23:38

I had a negative experience once with one of my friends. I was attempting to breast feed ds3 (I had a big t-shirt on so you couldn't see much). He starts staring. Next thing I know he takes my breast away from ds3 and starts grabbing the nipple, pulling it saying "oh its so sweet". I was shocked.and I think I said "get off" or something like that. It did leave me shaked though and afraid to do it infront of people.
The only negative comments I got were from my family, who were against me breast feeding because "I had no goodness in them"

yaimee · 12/04/2013 23:42

What the fuck sami
Poor you!

Yellowtip · 12/04/2013 23:43

Breathe you got lucky. I got pulled over by LAPD for the same. They didn't charge me but only because I was on my way to LAX to leave the US for the last time, so not worth it from their point of view. Very grumpy about the whole thing though, miserable cops.

BreatheandFlyAway · 12/04/2013 23:45

Sorry to hear that, yellow Sad Yes, I was lucky that time.

Yellowtip · 12/04/2013 23:49

Makes you wonder about California though doesn't it? The UK seems much more enlightened, at least in this respect. Odd, that's not how I'd have expected it to be.

elfycat · 12/04/2013 23:50

I used to work in a TGIF and I got told by a waiter that someone was BF (I worked in the office/on the door, but was a qualified nurse so I'd get asked all sorts) and what should they do, ask them to feed in the toilet?

My reply was very short and basically suggested they should rethink their whole life attitude to breast feeding and the appropriateness of toilets as somewhere to have food. Oh and offer a glass of water.

Luckily my own experience was more positive. I only ever recieved compliments about BF. I know this isn't always the case.

samithesausage · 12/04/2013 23:52

The sad thing is, I was so much in a trance due to lack of sleep, I didn't react much. Just an "oi get off me" . Then I mentioned it in passing to my OH in a "you never guess what that idiot did to me today..." And his face went Angry and threatened to thump him!

GirlOutNumbered · 12/04/2013 23:52

Never had any comments. No ones ever looked bothered even.

DevonCiderPunk · 12/04/2013 23:55

Yep, was asked to use the loo in an M&S café back in 2003, and had 2 unfortunate experiences on trains with blokes who suddenly felt the urge to sit on the fold-down seats near the doors where I was BFing DD (near her massive, unfoldable pram) and stare pointedly... Imbeciles...

I gave birth to DS after a gap of several years and noticed a huge change in attitude, would BF anywhere and no-one gave a damn Smile

DewDr0p · 12/04/2013 23:58

I fed all 3 of mine anywhere and everywhere and only once did I ever get a negative comment. In a John Lewis cafe of all places. Some silly old woman who had been sat on the next table muttered something about it being discusting as she walked away.

She was very very lucky I was midfeed and had 3 dcs under 3 with me so couldn't run after her...

Far far outweighed by positive comments and smiles though.

elfycat · 13/04/2013 00:28

Day 5 with a 36+2 early, small, yellow (to be admitted toxic with jaundice in another 4 days) baby in M&S Hedge end. Couldn't find the feeding room to do my first public-ish feed (misdirected by staff who didn't know they had a feeding room) so went to the cafe. A lovely member of staff looked at my stressed out face, found me somewhere quiet to sit and then offered to get my order for me.

Two other groups were around and I was sure they knew what I was doing, but they didn't say anything until after I'd finished when I got asked how we were doing and congratulated on feeding her. I'd had a brilliant breast feeding advisor in hospital and between her and my first commenters I felt able to feed for as long as I wanted, 1 year with DD1 who surpassed the HV expectations with her weight and gave up by herself and 16 months with DD2 who also stopped 'asking'.

I went back into M&S months later and commented to customer services how it had been on my mind to go back in and say thank you the whole time. Apparently 'Margaret' gets lots of compliments and mine would be mentioned at the next staff meeting. If you're out there Margaret, thank you!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 13/04/2013 00:30

Ds4 10 weeks is the only one I've bf in public. I was a little apprehensive of it at first but couldn't care less now, anything to stop the crying!

No comments yet but a couple of women were obviously talking about it in baby clinic but I couldn't hear if it was positive or negative.

When ds3 was little a women commented that she couldn't do that about another women bf at baby group. Not sure if she was talking about the breast feeding or the fact the women stripped down to her waist to do it though.

chipmonkey · 13/04/2013 01:13

Never anything negative

I once though a girl was staring at me feeding ds1 on a train but then, when she got up and I saw her white cane I realised she was blind and couldn't have been staring. I felt very foolish!

Other than that, mostly praise and niceness!

roundtable · 13/04/2013 01:37

Never had negative comments where I live, lots of smiles and I'm sure wistful looks in rememberance to their time with their babies.

Didn't have any looks or comments when I fed in public (with a giant muslin) in Abu Dhabi, even though people were convinced I'd get told off.

However, in Florida at the mo. First day out with the friends I am staying with and again with the giant muslin, I've had one man hide behind the menu at a restaurant and another man say, 'I can't believe I'm about to see this, omg, she is...' Even though there was nothing to see, he was totally covered up as was my breasts. I think to the rest of the coffee shop, it was totally preferable than the screaming baby I walked in with.

Bizarre.

Bogeyface · 13/04/2013 02:07

Once and it was brilliant, but no words were actually said.

I made a right hash of feeding her DD (looking back I realise I had no support), and only did it for 6 weeks. I really struggled to co ordinate everything and the one time I tried to do it while I was out I really cocked it up. There was DD who was a real screamer when she was hungry, naked tits all over the place, people looking over as it sounded like I was killing her then looking away again in disgust when they saw my flabby knockers, it was carnage :o

This very dapper old gent came over to me and I expected something negative. He picked up the blanket I had dropped, draped it over us both, smiled and went and sat back down!

I almost cried at his kindness and understanding, it was just so lovely :)

Bogeyface · 13/04/2013 02:08

feeding HER DD?! It was my DD, I promise!

Molehillmountain · 13/04/2013 06:12

I think bf seems to attract fewer comments than other bits of parenting by the sounds of things. And I don't actually blame people who have no recent experience of a family member bf for not understanding. I certainly didn't understand be a toddler until I'd done it. And that was after my sil and a couple of friends had. I did respect their choice but I certainly didn't "get" it.

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