Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

[gail734]

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

The manageress at the hotel restaurant I was in offered to open a bedroom for me to bf in. She wasn't at all worried about me feeding in her restaurant but thought I might be more comfortable with my feet up.

I can't remember if it was the same occasion but DD2 woke up hungry just as my fillet steak arrived at the table. I had to feed her while my meal sat in front of me getting cold. When I'd finished feeding DD the manageress replaced my meal with a fresh hot one and took DD for a walk in her pram while I enjoyed my dinner in peace.

An elderly gentleman friend of my late DGM was having a close look of DD1 when we met him and his wife in a shopping centre cafe. He didn't realise I was feeding her for a moment and when he did he shot back, mortified. He wasn't bothered about me feeding but embarrassed that we thought he'd been ogling. I didn't think that for a second and was chuffed in a way that I was managing to be discreet. I was always far more bothered about anyone catching sight of my jelly belly than breasts.

We were stopped at lights outside a right-on looking cafe coffee shop the other week where in the window there was a woman proudly breast feeding one child with both breasts fully out and exposed. I though oh my that's taking it a bit far, but she was perhaps just switching sides at that moment or proving a point, I'll never know. I did once answer the door to my postie with a parcel for me with my boob out in my early days with DD1 ... I had no idea until I saw his shocked face!

Only nice things.

I've had looks once or twice, when babies were closer to one. I think some people get a bit about older babies compared to younger ones. No idea why.

Ignore the silly fools! Far more people have ever been positive about my bf in public than negative.

Not a single look, glance, comment came my way - only quit due to repeated infections

I fed mine everywhere and can't remember any comments. again, mainly supportive.

IT did make me laugh when I fed dd on a plane last year, she was 7 months. we were sat behind 2 rows of lads, presumably on a lads' holiday. one of them must have clocked me, because there was suddenly a ripple of heads turning over shoulders.

they must have been v disappointed just to see a bare shoulder and baby' s head. hope they had more luck in Malaga.

One gawped, the other belted him and said 'Stop perving, them's baby tits not looking at tits.' and apologised for his mate's lack of discrimination

This is probably my favourite breast feeding quote ever!

Only comment I ever got was gushing praise for feeding openly, by someone who said she wished she had been brave enough to do that.

Odd look here and there, I suppose. More inquisitive than critical, I think.

I can understand people being embarrassed and uncomfortable with being around BF which is fine as long as they realise it's their issue and keep it to themselves.

Regards older women being critical, my mum came from a generation where you couldn't mention pregnancy to men, even family members and close friends. Remember her telling me that when someone came round you were expected to cover yourself in a coat and keep out the way. they were also encouraged to FF which was the big thing

Only positive things. Lovely ladies in Asda cafe carried my tray over and refilled and poured my tea so I could carry on. Old gent in cafe walked past, noticed and said 'ah lovely' and grinned.

Few double takes, but none that I thought were in a disapproving way.

Lots from family both sides - eventually they gave up -by 3rd DC really.

When we moved to a area where bf was very rare I found a few other mothers at toddler groups would wait till I was busy with toddler and trying to feed baby then make very loud nasty comments but never to me directly- but I had more positive comments and more help that those few comments.

Found HCP especially HV weren't very positive either with HV constantly wanting me to go to ff .

Out in public - hospital waiting 2 hours in hot environment two toddlers plus baby- we'd gone through the snacks, books and other distractions and they were all fretful baby wanted to feed. Old guy opposite started chuntering about how it was disgusting - not saying anything to me but talking increasingly loudly working himself up.

I was very close to snapping looked up - his elderly wife caught my eye - then suddenly move them to other side of room and told him to shut up.

After a set on injections - I fed one of the babies in GP waiting room - receptions were talking loudly in office about coming over and stopping me.

An old woman sat near me leaned over and said ignore them and if they dare I'll talk to them.

Love the story about the old man bringing someone a cupcake and tea because of his late wife, brought a tear to me eye!!

Shocking about the GP waiting room Loa - I was encouraged to feed DCs in the waiting room after jabs.

I wouldn't in any way like to justify the comments that some people are unlucky enough to get, but I think they are often borne of ignorance (no one they know has breast fed), guilt, envy and regret (they weren't encouraged to bf or didn't get the right support) and so their defence is attack ie if people who are bf are wrong it makes my forced "choice" right. My mil didn't bf because they were encouraged to do four hourly feeds and told that then, surprisingly, they didn't have enough milk. It takes a strong woman like her to then be delighted for her bf daughters in law. But overwhelmingly it seems that people either keep their thoughts to themselves or are positive.

i was on an american bf forum once and some of the things the posters said were appalling. one's mil even called social services on her - apparently they gave the mil what for tho.

i think from what i've heard the US has quite a different view of bfing.

i'm about to move to Canada and am worried it's similar over there :(

I've had a couple of raised eyebrows but I'd rather that than a screaming hungry baby.

I think older generations come from a different time when views were different but I bought a big scarf and I don't think many people really noticed.

Strangely with my first two I fed them anywhere and everywhere but with my third I was much happier somewhere more private. It's not that I feel I shouldn't feed in public but I kind of wanted more personal space. She's probably my last so I love just cuddling her and kissing her little hands whilst she feeds.

I do wish there was more breastfeeding on television so that it becomes more normal.

I'm sobbing reading this thread!

Can't wait to feed dc3 when he she born and am going to go postal at anyone who is bloody rude.

Can't believe I am crying so much!

MrsKoala - I don't know about Canada, but yes, Americans do seem rather prudish about breast feeding and in fact anything to do with breasts, eg see Facebook's ban on breast feeding photos, still regularly enforced while they let violent/sexual images remain. Also the storm over various nipple-flashing 'wardrobe malfunction' incidents.

The only restaurant/cafe I have ever heard of to actually explicitly ban breast feeding was at the Tokyo American Club (I don't think there was any legal protection in Japan, or at least not in a private members' club). This was about 10 years ago, though, and I know there is quite a strong 'lactivism' movement in the US now, so maybe attitudes have improved.

They should show it more on TV, especially the soaps. everything else is fair game on the likes of EE - why not breastfeeding, discretely done.

Inertia I agree and I would have changed GP but there is a shortage of places here and it took a fair bit of complaining for this one to take us on as it was.

begonia they should show more breastfeeding on the telly, but how does a young baby act out breastfeeding?

DP's brother looked a bit queasy but otherwise nothing.

you put a baby close to the breast and pretend it's feeding - it doesn't have to be real, no latching on and boobs need to be visable - just the suggestion that that is what is happening and that it's often discrete as in RL.

Exactly - most BF doesn't involve exposing yourself completely, or being able to see the baby's face. There should be a lot more of it on telly.

I BF at my Nanna's funeral last year. LO was about 4 months at the time, I was offered a room (which I did use when he started crying towards the end), but for the vast majority of the time I fed him in the sling. Everyone commented afterwards about how quiet and good he was - I just said 'well, he was breast-feeding for most of it!'.

I've never noticed another woman BF in public, but have seen FF mums looking a bit uncomfortable sometimes. I always smile at them and say something like 'someone's enjoying her milk!'. I did get a couple of funny looks when FF LO in a Waitrose cafe once (he was about 1 month old), not sure why.

Ah yes if it is a wee baby they could use a doll. No one is ever going to portray a "late" bfer of say 9 months plus eh?

My 2nd fed until she was a couple of weeks past her 2nd birthday and a few of my online peers LOs fed for similar durations, I can't imagine soapland ever portraying that.

To be honest I shouldn't care one way or the other as I don't watch the soaps.