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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What did you say when asked to stop BFing in public?

113 replies

Karmamother · 25/04/2006 22:41

I need a list of witty retorts to throw at neanderthals who might be upset by the sight of me BFing. You know the ones I mean... the stuff you never think of at the time.
I'm going to memorise them cos I think they're going to come in handy. I want to BF in public as much as possible, if only to see how long it takes to be asked to leave the premises.
BTW, I managed it at the rugby club the other week.Grin No-one minded.

OP posts:
Caligula · 25/04/2006 22:42

I bet they didn't, down the rugby club! Grin Wink

Waswondering · 25/04/2006 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Karmamother · 25/04/2006 22:45

To be fair, the game was still in progress at the time & there were only 2 old codgers standing at the bar. Although my friend did get out of her car & shout to her DH whilst DD was latched on. Made me chuckle when they all turned & stared.

OP posts:
LeahE · 25/04/2006 22:48

No one ever said anything negative. I was almost disappointed (and now we're down to morning and night there's no real chance they will. Ah well, there's always the hypothetical #2)

Original poster
Karmamother · 25/04/2006 23:01

I'm sure there are some really scathing replies I could use. Anyone? Hunker?

OP posts:
alexsmum · 25/04/2006 23:05

never been asked to leave or stop.
i think my most unusual place was a sikh temple!

lucy5 · 25/04/2006 23:06

No-one ever commented.

arfy · 25/04/2006 23:08

noone every said anything to me

but I would prob only get as witty as 'bugger off' TBH!

PoopyNappy · 25/04/2006 23:10

I'd say to them..."do you want some>...try it you might like it" :o

farseer · 25/04/2006 23:13

Hi, I was on the bus when ds1 started to cry so I started to undo my coat to feed him. I overheard an elderly couple behind me saying it was dsgusting and disgraceful. By this time ds1 had gone into full blown screaming as he wanted feeding NOW! So I turned around and said to them,

We're 5 minutes into a journey and I will be on this bus for the next 40 minutes. Now its up to you, I can feed him and he'll stop or I won't feed him and me, you and every other person on this bus can sit and listen to him cry til I get off

Not particulary scathing but it certainly worked.

And a big sigh of relief from everyone on the bus when he stopped crying

Original poster
Karmamother · 25/04/2006 23:29

Good for you, farseer. I like it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 00:00

bump

OP posts:
milward · 26/04/2006 00:03

Could say 'Thank you for your opinion' & just continue with bf & ignore them. I bf out & about with no probs.

all4girlz · 26/04/2006 00:32

not had a discouraging comment yet
just tell them that they really dont have to look!!

Skribble · 26/04/2006 00:37

Never had a problem or a comment but I suppose some idiot might suggest you would be better off in the loo, reply "Excuse me but would you eat your lunch in the loo?"

Skribble · 26/04/2006 00:40

I suppose if someone especially a man was passing comment or objecting I would have said very loudly " Do you mind not perving at me it makes me very uncomfortable to have you watching, mind you own business and stop looking at breast feeding mothers you disgusting person, help security police!!!!!!"

ghosty · 26/04/2006 02:58

I never had any negative comments or looks but a friend of mine was in a restaurant with her very young baby one evening when the man on the next table started tutting at her breastfeeding. She turned to him and said, "I can either feed him here and now and we can all eat in peace or you can have your meal ruined by a screaming baby. Which would you prefer?"
He huffed and moved seats so he had his back to her ... and she went ahead with feeding her DS.

hannahsaunt · 26/04/2006 04:49

In 2 years of breastfeeding (2 separate years for each ds) I was never once asked to stop which shows that things are moving on. Tbh it never really entered my head that I could be asked to stop and never asked if I could start.

Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 08:03

Hannahsaunt, you've raised an intresting point..about not asking to even start BFing. I personally don't see why I should ask anyone if they mind before I BF. However, my DP is of the "I think it shouldn't be thrusted into our faces in public" camp so I tend to be less "militant" when I'm out with him. I think he now realises that I'm hardly likely to wave my norks around any more than I would if I wasn't BFing. I do try & latch DD on in a discreet manner...not always easy cos she's a nosy madam. So far, I haven't fed her in a tightly packed place yet, thats my next objective. I have to say, it would really make me feel great if I got lots of approving looks, rather than tuts of disgust.

OP posts:
Laura032004 · 26/04/2006 08:54

I did ask the first time I ever fed ds in public (well the first time without my mum there!). Big mistake! They spent about 10 minutes trying to decide if it was OK, and if they should ring the manager. Meanwhile the lady at the next table was merrily bottle-feeding her baby. So I latched DS on, and he was immediately quiet (had been crying quite loudly). Learnt my lesson and never asked again.

Have only ever been asked if I'd 'prefer to do that somewhere more discreet' in McD's. Their option was the disabled toilet, so we had the whole would you eat in a toilet debate, and that settled that!

I have also been asked by a relative when I was planning on stopping feeding ds - he was only 8m at the time. I said probably in about 10 minutes! Then I had to listen to the fact that they only did it for comfort at that age, and it was more the mother wanting to cling onto the child than the child needing to be bf.... Angry

With DS (fed to 22m, but only morning and night after about 14m, so not much public feeding then apart from on planes) I did pander a bit to DH about not feeding in certain places. I won't be making any concessions this time. If a baby can be ff there, then my baby will be bf. :)

tiktok · 26/04/2006 09:16

Why on earth ask permission? has always been my view. If we're worried about 'exhibitionism' then flippin' well announcing that you're gonna do it takes the biscuit!

'Excuse me, I am about to feed my baby, as long as that's all right with you....'

WTF???

kama · 26/04/2006 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

crunchie · 26/04/2006 09:23

I got the odd sideways glance and a couple of tuts. That was it, 5 years ago. TBH I think there maybe the odd case of people causing a problem, BUT it is uncommon. The norm is a nice smile from people who see what you are doing (if they notice at all). BTW I BF anywhere and everywhere including at Blackpool pleasure beach, in cafes and restaurants anywhere, the zoo, the gym. Basically I BF as and when I needed to , my only criteria was finding somewhere to sit down - although I did do it standing up too!

I was lucky DD was pretty good, my norks are not enourmous and I could feed discretly, I know others have more of an issue with nosy babies and bigger norks, I cannot comment on how much they get hassled.

MrsBadger · 26/04/2006 09:24

I like the farseer / ghosty approach (also suggested by Libby Purves) ie 'What'll it be? Screaming or feeding? You choose...'

gigglinggoblin · 26/04/2006 09:30

i never had any comments either. my mum once told the manager of the cafe she worked in that i bf all over the place. he looked shocked and said 'but you wouldnt do it in here would you?'. he looked even more shocked when i told him i had been feeding while we were chatting 10 minutes earlier as he hadnt noticed! was only standing 3 or 4 feet away.

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