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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What did you say when asked to stop BFing in public?

113 replies

Karmamother · 25/04/2006 22:41

I need a list of witty retorts to throw at neanderthals who might be upset by the sight of me BFing. You know the ones I mean... the stuff you never think of at the time.
I'm going to memorise them cos I think they're going to come in handy. I want to BF in public as much as possible, if only to see how long it takes to be asked to leave the premises.
BTW, I managed it at the rugby club the other week.Grin No-one minded.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 26/04/2006 09:44

I was always horribly disappointed not to be confronted. I used to entertain myself whilst feeding by thinking up scathing and witty retorts to anyone that challenged me. Sigh.

Caligula · 26/04/2006 09:44

Ooh fancy McD's asking you to go and feed in the disabled loos.

Great if you're disabled and need a pee, and some bint is in there for 40 minutes feeding her child in an inappropriate place, and great for mother and child, feeding where people crap.

I would have had to have a letter to HO about that one. Mind you, I'm busy with letters at the moment!

Prufrock · 26/04/2006 09:48

I actually don't like the "screaming or feeding" approach - it makes it seem as if the only reason you are feeding is to make things less noisy for others. I routine fed, and my kids didn't tend to ever scream for a feed, because I would feed them at approx the right time regardless of where I was. And I fed them because I wanted to feed them, not because I wanted them to be quiet.

The only comment I can remeber was when I had taken d up to dh's office, and we had gone out fro lunch with a lot of people from the office. One of the newer guys (so not someone I knew as well) was staring at my covered but bf'ing boobs and I just asked him if he wanted to come closer so he could better, and added that "it really is quite amazing - did you realise that milk comes out of loads of places on the nipple, not just one central hole?". He went bright red, everybodyelse laughed at him and apparantly he got the piss taken for being pervy for the next few days!

Caligula · 26/04/2006 09:51

Ah poor bloke. He was just educating himself! Not his fault he was astonished.

In some ways it's sad that people are so ignorant about bf that they are so amazed when it happens in front of them that they react involuntarily.

ProfYaffle · 26/04/2006 09:56

Like Soupy I was always spoiling for a fight but never got one. I fed anywhere and everywhere, in a beer tent at the Eye Show, lying down in a hospital day room (don't ask!) never once got a negative comment, infact most people were either very nice and supportive (one elderly couple practically cheered me on, offered to get me a glass of water) or just didn't notice what I was doing.

I'm now waiting to witness another bf mum being hassled so that I can wade in for the fight I never got.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 26/04/2006 10:00

we're taking ds (7months) to canada next week so it'll be interesting to see if anyone comments on the plane. i just feel bad for whoever sits next to me cause ds tends to kick while he eats!

hunkermunkfish · 26/04/2006 10:00

I'd be tempted to say "Next time you're hungry, can I come and stare disapprovingly at you while you eat, please?"

Never had anyone challenge me, though did have someone stare at me as he walked past - I was bfeeding DS1 on a bench in Kew Gardens when he was about 4mo. I was also chatting to a friend and had forgotten what I was doing so wondered why he was staring at me so intently!

I do do what SD does though and spend time feeding in public thinking up things I'd say if I was challenged Grin

Flum · 26/04/2006 10:01

I have never beeen asked to stop breastfeeding in public. I think the kind of people that might be bothered by it would be far to scared to speak to a woman while she was breastfeeding.

If they ask you to stop just say 'NO' you don't need to be witty.

Flum · 26/04/2006 10:09

Why do you think that people will object? I think it is a bit of an imagined problem. There is no need for MILITANT breastfeeding. Just quietly get on with it and probably no one will even notice.

Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 10:10

great story, prufrock!

I don't think people only bf to please others, I'm sure they're doing it because their LO needs it. Personally, I think saying "feeding or screaming" will shut most people up but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I'd like to find a retort that is polite yet to the point. One that implies that my BFing is not the problem, rather it is their attitude that needs addressing, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
cod · 26/04/2006 10:10

totally agree wioth flum
do you all falp yer norks around

how do people kknow?

tiktok · 26/04/2006 10:10

I was once told by my mother that my gran did not approve of me bf in front of male members of the family and would I go somewhere else....I just said 'no, why on earth would I do that?' :)

The subject was never raised again.

cod · 26/04/2006 10:11

\link{http://www.sshosp.org/med_services/maternity/sc_nursery/photos/breastfeeding.jpg\me" breastfeeding but actually th tshirt was normally oev their faces}

Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 10:12

Does that make me militant?

OP posts:
Caligula · 26/04/2006 10:12

Actually, as long as women are being challenged and insulted for feeding their babies in public, there most definitely is a need for militant breastfeeding.

Militancy only arises where there is opposition.

Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 10:14

cod, I feed like that but I'm more concerned with strangers seeing the rolls of flab hanging under my norks.Blush Have started wearing vest under t shirt. God knows what I'll do in the summer.

OP posts:
ghosty · 26/04/2006 10:15

Oh god! Someone said the 'M' word ....
This could kick off Grin

RedZuleika · 26/04/2006 10:16

I took DD swimming for the first time last week. The class is a bit inconveniently timed with regard to the point she usually wants a nap and feeding, so since my (very ample) breasts were bobbing about in the water, virtually at eye-level, she went to latch on. I practically had to prise her off. I mentioned this jokingly in the changing room afterwards to the (female) instructor and she said that I was welcome to sit and feed her at the side of the pool if no one else objected. WTF?? If nothing else, with the cost of the swimming lessons, quite frankly, I'll do it where I damn well feel like if she's hungry. And won't be drawing more attention to myself by asking permission.

But...

...on the Name And Shame Front:

A friend of mine was feeding her child in a NATIONAL TRUST property a few weeks ago (she is a member). In the lobby, so not near paintings or fine furnishings. A female member of staff suggested she move to the designated 'baby' room, then called the manager when she didn't. He said that they didn't allow 'food or drink' on the premises. ???? When she looked at the 'baby' room later, it was of course just a glorified public toilet.

hotmama · 26/04/2006 10:18

Bloody hell - I didn't know that Cod looked serene! Shock

I'm still waiting to get hassled for bf. Smile

Original poster
Karmamother · 26/04/2006 10:21

RZ, ha ha ha ha!! No food or drink on the premises???? I wonder if he'd been waiting for years to say that to a BFing mother. What utter bollocks.

OP posts:
Caligula · 26/04/2006 10:22

I think we should have a militant group of letter writers to places like McD's , NT etc.

Bollocks to serenity and discretion. This is just another old virgin/ whore distinction. Serene pashmina-draped devoted mother =good, agitated, stressed out incompetent nork-flasher=bad.

PiccadillyCircus · 26/04/2006 10:23

I never ask if I can breastfeed. And no one has ever suggested I shouldn't.

Flum · 26/04/2006 10:23

If you are that bothered about people seeingyou why not drape a nice pashmina across your shoulder and baby, nice and private then.

Its natural, people know that.

If someone says something just tell them not to be so ridiculous.

Cod - that picture so is NOT you. Where are your warts?

Caligula · 26/04/2006 10:25

Er, Flum - what if you have one of those babies who goes into paroxysms of screaming at the mere whiff of a pashmina, and kicks it off?

Most mothers do try to be discreet. If they don't manage it, so what?

Flum · 26/04/2006 10:28

well don't be discreet then, I don't care. but why the big hoo haa.

if paula radcliffe can shit in the street, yuou can breastfeed at National Trust house