Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

What did you say when asked to stop BFing in public?

113 replies

Karmamother · 25/04/2006 22:41

I need a list of witty retorts to throw at neanderthals who might be upset by the sight of me BFing. You know the ones I mean... the stuff you never think of at the time.
I'm going to memorise them cos I think they're going to come in handy. I want to BF in public as much as possible, if only to see how long it takes to be asked to leave the premises.
BTW, I managed it at the rugby club the other week. No-one minded.

OP posts:

MeAndMyBoy · 26/04/2006 12:40

Never been asked to stop feeding in 6mths of feeding Ds. Did have a waitress I worked with tell me that I shouldn't allow a mother to feed her baby in the restaurant she should do it in the Loo.

The worst comment I got was from my embarressed Step Father in law first time I fed DS in front of him, really didn't know what to do with himself and then when I left the room to finish the feed so he wasn't embarressed he followed me.

MissChief · 26/04/2006 12:43

i honestly think most people don't even notice, let alone mind. I found the more relaxed I was and the more experienced (and therefore discreet) I got, the less I noticed any looks.

Laura032004 · 26/04/2006 14:13

I did make a complaint about the McD's incident BTW. The reply that I received apologised for the incident, and said I should never have been asked to move. After that they displayed the 'bf welcome here' stickers in the window. :)

RedZuleika · 26/04/2006 14:21

The first time my parents came to visit, when DD was two and a half weeks old, my father told me not to breastfeed in front of my grandfather IN MY OWN HOME.

Ironically, my grandfather is quite accustomed to the notion of breastfeeding, because he saw my grandmother breastfeed two children (because what else were you going to do when there's a war on...??). My parents, on the other hand, formula fed me.

mcmudda · 26/04/2006 14:35

RedZuleika - I see your size H's and raise you my 34 J's

Have never been approached let alone challenged. Although have had several people in cafes and restaurants come over for a nose at dd or ds (depending on when) and not notice I was feeding until they were standing over looking me. I've never shown any of my ample flesh anyway. I have lightning reflexes when it comes to stretching my top over a boob about to be flashed by a fidgety baby

MagicGenie · 26/04/2006 14:37

I didn't get any comments when I was bf-ing my DS but lived in an area where you were the minority if you didn't bf.

However, the worst comment I ever got was from my MIL who, despite being an ex-nurse (who did midwifery training!), said she found it offensive if she saw people bf-ing in public. (This was right after I'd felt comfortable enough to express in front of her. Which was nice.)

Her being offended was rooted in the showing flesh/breasts being on show argument. Groan.

fuzzywuzzy · 26/04/2006 14:38

I've never had any negative comments and have pretty much bf everywhere.
The first time I went out after having dd1, dd1 decided she was hungry on a packed bus... dp said 'feed her then' I was really worried people would be offended. So my sensitive loving dp replied, 'well if you were going to be embarrassed about doing this in public you should have stayed home behind blackout curtains until my baby is safely weaned, or you should have expressed or we should have bought out a bottle of formula, now if you don't feed her I am getting off at the next stop and buying formula...' I fed her, nobody noticed, and I wondered why I'd been so worried in the first place.
Dp has always been very supportive about my bf our daughters.
Actually I am at a loss as to why anybody would consider it disgusting to begin with....

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:50

Must say,couldn't express in front of anyone.
Not even dh.
Am trying to salvage a scrap of mystery in our marriage.

RedZuleika · 26/04/2006 14:55

McMudda: "Have never been approached let alone challenged"

I'm not surprised. With 34Js, there's pretty much an exclusion zone round you...

mcmudda · 26/04/2006 14:58

I am a true Fembot in Austin Powers-stylee

Pruni · 26/04/2006 15:37

Am PMSL at the NT man saying "We don't allow food or drink" - I bet he really enjoyed that one (bastard).
Tiktok said much further down that asking was exhibitionism and I completely agree. I had a big row actually with my b/fing friend who would very primly ask wherever we went. Cue lots of people turn around and look, the waitress gets flustered and really, so few people care round here that it was a dumb question. She claimed it was because she is American and therefore more polite.

sazhig · 26/04/2006 15:43

Some really good responses \link{http://www.rosenbaumcreative.com/responses.html\here} and \link{http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html\here}

I've never had anyone say anything to me in the 20 odd months I've been feeding ds. I keep reading these links to remind me just in case - maybe i just look too determined!

Greensleeves · 26/04/2006 15:51

Can I just interject, rather ill-naturedly (bad day ) that I DETEST the expression "on show", as in a bfing woman having her breasts "on show". They're not "on show" FGS, they're not by themselves on a plinth in the middle of the room, they're not being displayed as an exhibit.

Same thing annoys me when repressive men try to tell women what they can and cannot wear because they don't like their women's legs/cleavage etc being "on show". As though women themselves are just walking sideshows, only there to be goggled at by men. It's a shit attitude. And it's really the only reason anyone has for disapproving of public breastfeeding - which is why it's such a f*cking disgrace when other women come out with it. They ought to know better.

moondog · 26/04/2006 15:53

Hmmm,I feel like this every day GS,walking around this part of Turkey where every second woman isin aheadscarf (or even veiled) andalong shapelessmudcolouredcoat,while her dh struts around in tight jeans and a short sleeved shirt.

Greensleeves · 26/04/2006 15:58

Quite - the rationale appears to be that a woman's body cannot be anything other than an open invitation to sexual congress. One couldn't possibly expect men to control themselves and their animal urges in the face of such provocation.

moondog · 26/04/2006 16:09

Indeed!

julienetmum · 26/04/2006 16:31

Dh has a phrase which can be used in all sorts of situations with great effect. He uses it when teaching sometimes or when being asked to do something unreasonable.

Simply look the person requesting you to stop/move elsewhere calmly in the face and say

"I'm sorry I don't do that" Repeat several times if necessary.

You would be amazed how it works.

hotmama · 26/04/2006 17:07

Yay - I also have 34 J nursing boobs - don't need pillows to get dd2 to the height of my nipples.

BelleFleur · 26/04/2006 17:18

Hi. Has anyone bfed on a plane? I am planning to, and I am certainly not going to ask for permission!

Twiglett · 26/04/2006 17:19

I've never had the slightest negative comment or attitude

I think its down to whether you think people around you are going to be repulsed by you or are they going to think you're doing the most wonderful thing ever

FrannyandZooey · 26/04/2006 17:19

I have never been asked, but I think I might use the old staple "I'm sorry, but I think you must have confused me with someone who gives a shit".

I did want to say though - don't be too mean to men (or anyone) who are just quietly looking - in this culture it is really quite unusual to actually see someone breastfeeding, in fact many people have never ever seen it done. Hardly suprising they might be interested or want to watch you for a minute. I think smiling and looking relaxed and happy, even in the face of criticism, does more for the image of norkfeeding than some sarky remark.

Kathy1972 · 26/04/2006 17:21

Yes I have certainly bf on a plane and I'm sure many, many others have done too. In fact bf during takeoff and landing is recommended as a good way to avoid your baby's ears hurting with the changes in pressure (like adults sucking sweets).
No need to ask for permission and I am sure the stewardesses would be used to it and would give short shrift to anyone who objected.

Kathy1972 · 26/04/2006 17:22

Frannyandzooey - good post. at 'norkfeeding'

teabags · 26/04/2006 17:26

IMO bf on a plane is the norm. No one has ever been remotely interested. Passengers don't care, so long as the baby isn't screaming

FrannyandZooey · 26/04/2006 17:33

Is this the point in the thread where I casually mention the fact that I have breastfed a toddler in the Albert Hall?

[smug]

Flip

1 2 3 4 5