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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Now here's an article that's going to settle the breast v. bottle debate once and for all...

272 replies

emkana · 25/04/2006 12:25

\link{http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_medical/article360047.ece\or maybe not}

I particularly like the paragraph about the German nutritionist Wink. Now that bit has totally convinced me that the benefits of b/feeding are being exaggerated. [snort]

Honestly, what a piece of cr*p.

OP posts:
Amiable · 25/04/2006 20:46

She is Australian, but I think she lives in UK - certainly all the organisations/references etc are British. She also wrote "The Rough Guide to Pregnancy", which is another one I can fully recommend - loads of useful advice, but with a really funny diary written week by week. Was going to type out a quote but it would take ages, and I've already hijacked this thread enough (sorry everyone)

moondog · 25/04/2006 20:48

Hijack away Amiable.
Every opinion is valid.

staceym11 · 25/04/2006 21:09

see i know a lot of you think its a load of rubbish but i was made to feel so guilty for not feeding my daughter but she would not latch however hard i tried, she never latched on a bottle properly either and still doesnt. it was let my child starve trying to breastfeed or express, so i expressed and she spat it at me, she wouldnt drink it, so i had to turn to formula.

i would have loved to breastfeed but it wasnt for my baby and it might not have been for me, all breastfed babies i know dont sleep, now maybe my dd might still have slept through if she was breastfed but if she hadnt i could well have been a prime candidate for shaking my baby (i would never even dream of it id just shut her into a room to scream) but having the few restless nights we have had i can tell how it happens.

its about doing whats right for you and your child. my dd is 18 month she doesnt have asthma she doesnt have ecxma (sp?) she is allergic to tomatoes but is growing out of that. she doesnt get ill a lot and she was never a sickly baby. its about knowing yourself and your child and doing whats right for them, remember happy mummy happy baby!!!

Amiable · 25/04/2006 21:32

Stacey, it makes me cross that you (or anyone)is made to feel guilty about not BFing. Luckily my HV has been totally supportive (she used to be a breastfeeding counsellor for the NCT, so I did think she would tell me off, or try to persuade me to try again)) It DOESN'T work for everyone, it is bl**dy hard work even if you don't have medical/other problems. As you so rightly say, happy mummy, happy baby. sounds like you are doing well - congrats! :)

CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 08:15

today's \link{http://comment.independent.co.uk/letters/article360134.ece\letters page}.

tiktok · 26/04/2006 09:39

Some good points made in those letters - wonder if they are from anyone here? :)

BTW, none of them is mine.

Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 09:59

one of them is emkana I think Smile

moondog · 26/04/2006 10:06

Snorting about that guff about relatives feeling a 'sense of loss' about not feeding the baby.
Do they feel a sense of loss about not having experiences torn labia too I wonder???

Caligula · 26/04/2006 10:07

Yes and a sense of loss about not being able to get up at 3AM and do the feeding?

What bollocks.

CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 10:07

or mine [sulk]. I sent mine in at 6pm though, which is probably a bit past their deadline.

moondog · 26/04/2006 10:15

I still feel a sense of loss at not having had a chance to develop a meaningful relationship with a big tin of Aptimil.

Stacey,it sounds like you had a really tough time. Sad

figroll · 26/04/2006 12:06

I stumbled upon this thread and it is some years since my 2 were babies but I have to say that I felt a hell of a lot of pressure to breastfeed. I had eczema on my nipps and when my first was born my hv said it didn't matter. so I fed her until my nipps turned black. My hv still said it was okay and to carry on because I NEEDED to bf as I had asthma and eczema. I had to put hydrocortisone on my nipps and then wash it off every time I fed. I worried about the chemicals she could be taking in, I worried about getting mastitis, I worried about everything. I started to hate having my baby because it meant such pressure. I started to have panic attacks when she cried.

A month after struggling and feeling really unhappy and close to tears 24 hours a day, my dh said why the bloody hell didn't I bottle feed her. Which I did. It was 10 times better and I started to enjoy being a mum. My kids are a lot older now and neither have suffered any allergies, both are happy and contented kids. I know it is best to feed babies what nature intended - that is obvious. However, I have to agree with this article that for me, bfeeding was the wrong choice. I was made to feel like crap when I told my hv that I was giving up and when I had my second baby, I never went to see her because I thought she was useless. I bottle fed my 2nd and she is fine too - never really had any health problems associated with it and she isn't thick either. A midwife "friend" told me how she was going to be the class dunce because of bottle feeding - she isn't much of a friend anymore.

The guilt thing is so big that even today, people have said - didn't you bfeed? Oh dear.

A little understanding goes a long way.

figroll · 26/04/2006 12:11

Oh and also, I have an excellent relationship with both my children. I enjoyed bottle feeding them - I didn't do it at arms length. I love them both dearly, bonded very quickly indeed with my 2nd, although it took a while for the 1st, and (despite all that bottle washing) never found it a problem when I went out.

What more can I say? Did I light the blue touchpaper!

tiktok · 26/04/2006 12:20

figroll - none of us here are making any judgement on an individual's struggle with a horrible feeding experience. I don't know what you would think of was an appropriate response, but surely you can see that those of us criticising the article are not criticising you or any one else for using formula - or even looking for justification of why you or anyone else did so. Even if you had decided to formula feed right from the start without the painful struggle you went through, no one has any right to judge you or anyone else. Stupid remarks of the ones you list are out of order, and they are made about every aspect of parenting and baby care.

The beef we have with the article was that the author had shit support to breastfeed, and then went on to make wholly erroneous statements about breastmilk and breastfeeding.

Hope you understand that - when you have had a painful experience followed by stupid remarks, it's hard not to take things personally.

figroll · 26/04/2006 12:37

But I can't understand why people are so critical of a woman who clearly struggled to bfeed and found that bottle feeding was better for her. She made generalisations about how bfeeding makes babies small, etc, and no one likes that. However, I had to put up with comments about how my children would be thick, get fat, have allergies and infections and generally be unhealthy. There is no one to defend a perfectly good form of nutrition, ie bottle feeding, and because of that mums today are made to feel really guilty. I was ashamed at not bfeeding when I used to sit at toddler group and that can't be right.

Sorry to be a pain, but I was sooooooo upset when my kids were babies by all of this. I used to go to a very "middle class" toddler group and the looks were amazing really!

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 12:45

figroll nothing to do with middle class believe me Grin! I had some 'posh' baby groups where I was the 'odd one out' because I didn't bf. and the looks of pity my kids got because bad mama wouldn't give breast.

Also I live next to supermum who persevered thorugh 6 months of sheer agony with both her kids. I admire her stamina, I wouldn't have been able to do it. She sort of accepts that some women cant take the 'hard work' it takes BUT still kept hinting rather obviously... ah well you should have tried this or that/persevered etc.
though I refuse to go on the guilt trip Grin

So whereas I agree that the lady who wrote the article was a bit too sweeping with her general statements and not well informed, I also agree with her experiences of confusing information supplied and lack of support.

Oh and I'd believe a German nutritionist over a British one Grin

Tinker · 26/04/2006 12:52

Read this yesterday - lots of letters today complaining about it. She just didn't really want to do it in the first place, I think.

Caligula · 26/04/2006 12:55

But figroll, it's precisely because of the misinformation in articles like this, that women will continue to receive as shit support as you did, and thus made to give up.

Most mothers in this country actively want to breastfeed their babies. They are not being supported to do that by the medical profession or by the wider society as a whole, and articles like this one contribute to that climate of non-support.

And remarks like the ones that were made to you are just part and parcel of the ignorance around feeding issues - a HV who looks down her nose at you because you gave up breastfeeding is a crap HV. Instead, she should she be asking herself how she could have supported you better and find out how much she doesn't know, and how she can continue to support you whatever your feeding choice.

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 12:58

calligula... I do get the impression though that there are quite a few cr*p HV's out there. Because the support I got was abismal (sp?) to say the least...

then again that might be a local thing here because when dd was 1 and failing to thrive because refusing to eat etc the HV said 'strap her in the high chair and forcefeed her'.. charming

tiktok · 26/04/2006 13:13

So because you had personal and stupid comments directed at you figroll, based on nothing more than ignorance and rudeness, it somehow 'redresses the balance' and is therefore ok for a national newspaper to get it so wrong about breastfeeding???

No one is criticising her - her experience of rubbish info and support for breastfeeding is precisely what happens to thousands of mothers in the UK.

Tinker - you cannot know whether she 'really wanted to do it'. It doesn't matter, anyway. People are allowed not to really want to do it! But if they give it a go, nonetheless, they deserve good info and support, so they can continue for as long as they wish.

It doesn't help anyone, does it, if erroneous information gets printed?

There is bound to be a spectrum - some people are madly keen on bf and will go through hell and high water to do it, and feel like utter crap if it doesn't work. Other people are less keen, and will give it a go for a short time and if it doesn't go swimmingly, they stop after a day or so with no regrets. Based on the newspaper piece, I would (tentatively) say the author was somewhere in between those extremes.

tiktok · 26/04/2006 13:15

What was it about the German nutritionist you thought was correct, MrsBigD?

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 13:17

Grin I'm German... all I said is that I would trust what a German nutritionist told me over what a UK nutritionist tells me... not saying that what was said in the article was right WinkGrin

Tinker · 26/04/2006 13:20

tiktok - I agree. I don't care whether people want to do it or not, am just idly speculating.

JoolsToo · 26/04/2006 13:23

"There is bound to be a spectrum - some people are madly keen on bf and will go through hell and high water to do it, and feel like utter crap if it doesn't work. Other people are less keen, and will give it a go for a short time and if it doesn't go swimmingly, they stop after a day or so with no regrets."

That just about sums it for me - no need for any posts on the subject from me! Grin

tiktok · 26/04/2006 13:51

OK, Tinker :)

OK, MrsBigD : )

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