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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Now here's an article that's going to settle the breast v. bottle debate once and for all...

272 replies

emkana · 25/04/2006 12:25

\link{http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_medical/article360047.ece\or maybe not}

I particularly like the paragraph about the German nutritionist Wink. Now that bit has totally convinced me that the benefits of b/feeding are being exaggerated. [snort]

Honestly, what a piece of cr*p.

OP posts:
figroll · 26/04/2006 14:33

My point though is that bfeeding was probably not right for me to do because when I did it my npps bled quite profusely - it wasn't because of poor technique, although I don't suppose I was the expert, it was because of a prior medical condition that meant that it was a bad idea and made my life hell. I can't understand this sort of bfeed regardless of how miserable it makes you attitude because your baby comes first. Yes I know my baby comes first, but I have to fit into the equation too, and I don't feel that my needs were considered at all.

I think that some hvs truly believe that if you bottle feed your baby, that baby will get eczema and when you are battling with the condition yourself, it really doesn't help to have this extra guilt put on you. Motherhood is not an exact science and you need to do the best you can in the circumstances, and I feel it is always easy to criticise. I have never ever ever criticised a mother for bfeeding, so what gives a bfeeder the right to criticse me for my choice? We all do the best we can, surely? We need support in whatever choice we make, whether that be bottle feeding or bfeeding. You know, I would still feel ashamed now of my choice if someone actually asked me.

By the way, no amount of support could have helped me, unless I had found a wet nurse.

I will go and creep away and hide in a little hole now.

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:35

What prior medical condition was that figroll??
Noone is criticizing you and you don't have to crawl away. What you say is as valid as anyone else's comments.

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 14:39

figroll I think she had eczema on her npps

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 14:40

moondog even Blush

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:41

OUch!

figroll · 26/04/2006 14:45

Oh well - I can't breastfeed them now anyway, people would think me a bit odd (they might think that anyway!).

The eczema has gone too - can't imagine why but I can't say I am sorry. I was one of those crusty scabby people that people try to avoid sitting next to on the bus.

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:47

Ah figgy,I'm sure you're not!! Smile

Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 14:48

at eczema on the nipples
I can guarantee moondog and I wouldn't think you were weird Grin

figroll · 26/04/2006 14:49

No I am not anymore, but I was. I have pictures of my graduation ceremony where I looked like I had just come out of potato peeling machine in a chip shop - no skin, but very greasy.

tiktok · 26/04/2006 15:26

figgy: "so what gives a bfeeder the right to criticse me for my choice"....no one here (surely) is saying it's right to criticise you or anyone else for not breastfeeding? I can't see anything on this thread or anywhere else on mumsnet that criticises someone for formula feeding.

Please don't go away or think people are judging you. They're not!

All this guilt shit comes from inside a lot of the time. You say you would still feel 'ashamed' if someone asked you how you fed your kids. That's horrible, but it is (I think) part of the mother thing we all share to some extent, feeling we could have done things differently somehow and done them better, even if our more logical 'mother head' knows perfectly well we did what we could! Our illogical, emotional, 'mother heart' persists in saying something different , bugger it :)

It's all just because we love our kids.

Kathy1972 · 26/04/2006 15:58

Tiktok, to be fair, there have been some horrible comments on Mumsnet - not on this thread - that say things like 'whenever I see a baby being bottlefed it makes me sad' and 'I just can't understand why anyone would want to formula feed their baby' (said after lots of people had given their reasons, so not just a simple desire for information). Comments like this are very much in the minority here, but they do exist, so if people feel got at it is likely not all in the mind. There are also HVs and midwives out there who mindlessly push bf even when not appropriate, though the problem with formula feeding being overpromoted is probably greater.
However I'm sure we're all agreed that women should have the information and the support to feed their babies whichever way works best for them and this is what's sadly lacking at the moment.

tiktok · 26/04/2006 16:14

I have seen the odd comment such as the ones you cite, Kathy, though yes, they are rare....and while I don't agree people should say these things simply because of the fact this is a sensitive topic, I still have never seen a personal criticism of a particular mother for formula feeding (or for breastfeeding, as a matter of fact).

It's true that some midwives and health visitors push breastfeeding or make people feel judged, and I would never defend that. It's just poor care, and you see it in other aspects, not just feeding.

But figroll implied very strongly that she felt personally criticised here on mumsnet and in particular on this thread....and I do think that has come from inside.

Maybe she'll post again and tell us!

moondog · 26/04/2006 16:15

To be fair Cath,there are very few nasty comments (I don't see what is so nasty about saying you feel sad seeing a newborn bottlefed however.)

However,are breast feeders supposed to be beyond reproach and always pleasant and charming by virtue of the way they feed their child??
We are normal people you know not saints in training.

Kathy1972 · 26/04/2006 16:35

Moondog, of course I'm not suggesting that breastfeeding mothers are or ought to be any saintlier than any other sort of mother - I'm at a loss as to how you got that from my post. I'm merely saying that unfortunately there is judgement out there and sadly if people feel got at for formula feeding it may not be all in the mind.

moondog · 26/04/2006 16:59

Well hey Kath,we all feel 'judged' in some way at some time in some place.
That's life.

Pruni · 26/04/2006 18:36

That may be life but it isn't always necessary, is it?

Caligula · 26/04/2006 18:43

It's not necessary Pruni, but how you deal with it is up to you. You can fret about it and be angry and hurt, or you can feel confident in your own choices and not give a flying wotsit what people who know nothing about it think of your choices.

Pruni · 26/04/2006 18:47

Well, of course, calig. But that doesn't mean you can't point out that making unnecessary deliberately hurtful snide comments (after all, if it's unnecessary, then all it can be designed to do is hurt, no?) is, well, just bitchy.
Thankfully it doesn't happen often though...

hunkermunkfish · 26/04/2006 18:54

As an aside, isn't anyone else doing the Open University Sainthood 101 course?

CarolinaMoonfish · 26/04/2006 18:58

no, I'm doing the Snidey Undermining Foundation course.

Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 18:59

I'm doing Smuggery with Advanced Condescension
can't spell it, mind

tiktok · 26/04/2006 19:00

They kicked me off it for using swearies in my assignments, hunk.

B*t*ds

Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 19:01

ah well you see, that's a Breastfeeder for you
always swearing
lactating, and swearing

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 19:05

just follwing their basic instincts Grin

Pruni · 26/04/2006 19:22

Wot's rong with your spelling, hc?
CarolinaMoon, why did your post on t'other thread get deleted?
Were you reported??