How to stay awake during night feeds part 7 - put in your orders for sleepy dust!

[TeaandHobnobs]

Can't believe we are on part 7! and I'm still here

Welcome one and all

Oh amey, you poor thing! The main thing is that no one was hurt, but I know exactly how you feel, I did a similar thing and I cried too
larle my MIL was the same as that's what they were told to do. I showed her some expressed milk hat had been in the fridge so she could see how much of it was water, and that helped a bit.
brain I was told the exact same thing by the health visitor! I have to confess to leaving him a bit longer at night now if he starts fussing, but I can usually tell the tipping point at which it's going to turn into full blown hysteria.
Congrats on the shrinking, mrsn

We have been having fun with solids this week - he got hives after having banana! I,rang the GP and they have referred us to a specialist without us having to go in and see the doctor again which was a bit of a result. Since all the dairy and soy hasbeen out of my system he's gone back to feeding every 3 hours during the day and mostly every 4 at night, but he's still waking and needing settling every 1-2 hours. Small steps though!

Just re-read my post, the £2000 worth of damage was done on the post in the car park. I only lightly scratched the bosses car and when I say boss I mean my bosses boss, does that make it worse?
Dh just got home and asked what was down my back, it appears at some point today baby larle has thrown up down my back and I've been walking around like it all day. Looked like a bird had s**t on me!!!

Hello all, haven't caught up yet so sorry not to name check.

Seem to be stuck in an endless cycle of viruses and teething here. Stitch decided to get up from 4am last night and went back to sleep at 7am It is really getting me down, I am so tired all the time plus I catch every virus the kids get. My immune system is crap anyway since having glandular fever and CFS in my twenties so I don't just bounce back like the kids. Fed up of being indoors, horrible weather and lack of sunshine. I need spring time, cute baby animals and warmer weather to cheer me up.

Will try to catch up on thread later, hope everyone is ok and some sleep has been had by all x

Hi all, can't post much as need to try to sleep before newly instituted dream feed but sleep here completely appalling last 2 nights. DH being a total hero though. Work is fine though. daddyfunch has signed up to MN and is reading the thread so may post soon....

Warning, long post alert - but I wanted to talk to you guys about something if you don't mind.

I think I stopped counselling too soon. Everything seemed better and I thought I had run out of things to say. However, my mum came up last week to visit and it was so strange with her - things seemed strained between us, we argued, I felt distant from her and it breaks my heart to say this, but I didn't enjoy her being here. I think what's caused this is what I have been speaking to my counsellor about. We touched on my relationship with my mum as a teen and how this may have influenced how I think now, but then we left it. I didn't think about it at the time, but seeing her and the way I felt makes me think there a lot of issues there. It makes me feel sick feeling like that towards her as I love her so much, we are close and you guys know how much I miss her and need her, so this just feels so awful.

I thought about it today and I thought the best thing to do was to speak to hubby about it. Bad idea. He listened, and tried to say some helpful things, but then thought it was the right time to say how my mum frustrates him with the way she picks up little man all the time, even when he's quite happy and doesn't need picking up. I now feel ten times worse. It wasn't meant to be a mum bashing session. It hurts my mum so much when she has to say goodbye to little man, and I feel so guilty about that. And hubby has now made me dread our visits. He wasn't saying it in a malicious way - he thought it was the right time but he was so wrong.

I need to go back to the counsellor, but their policy is that I need to wait one month since my sessions ended before I can go back on the waiting list which is weeks long. So I felt the need to speak to you guys, just to help sort my head out.

Thanks if you managed to get this far, I appreciate it!

Oh mrsn you poor thing I'm so sorry you're feeling like this still.

Get back on the waiting list, sooner you're on it the sooner you can get seen. In the mean time is there a helpline recommended by your counseller that could maybe offer some support or advice? Do you think you could talk to your mum? Or maybe re-broach the issue with DH but making sure he understands you're not ready to listen to criticisms at the moment?

Keep talking to us, if it helps we will listen as long as you need xxx

:( mrsn, sorry you feel rubbish! Def get back on list for counselling if you feel it was helping. Might help talking to your mum. Sometimes we feel thinks that aren't logical towards people but doesn't mean anything bad.

Just had a failed attempt at pick up put down/cc - DD now wide awake! Can't understand how he can settle fine at 7pm but wake so much later! I am starting to wonder if he has reflux tho, the more I think about it there's been a few signs. I'm thinking of discussing it with gp this week....

X

Sorry to not post more just now, but just to add a ditto to heff's message above.

amey it's so easy to do these things. We're all exhausted and that's when mistakes happen. It could have been much worse and it sounds like the other person is being really nice.

Sleepy dust to you all.

Totally agree with heff and amey. You might have tried this already but my counsellor advised writing a letter that you don't post saying everything you want to say to your mum to help you get it off your chest.
Also your counsellor should have known you weren't ready to stop yet.

Second feed here, only been in bed since half 10. Taking baby larle into work tomorrow do really need more sleep

Long post warning. mrsn I really hope I haven't diverted attention from your post. What you've written is important and deserves attention.

Last night dp and I had a huge disagreement . We're on holiday which is lovely but babybrain is sleeping as badly as ever and I'm just getting more and more tired. I asked dp to help with some of the nighttime between-feed-settling but because we haven't brought the exercise ball from home dp is refusing because 'it won't work'. I'm quite teary (not normally at all but so tired these days) and said I was desperate and couldn't dp maybe try anyway. Dp still refused. There were lots more words but that is the essence.

Babybrain woke as we were going to bed and dp rolled over, blatantly leaving it to me to go.

I don't know what to do. Dp just goes quiet and says 'I don't know' whenever I ask for ideas on how to get babybrain to sleep better. There are issues of low self-esteem which complicate things I think.

I feel like I've put all my cards on the table and dp has turned away. We've been together for nearly 5 years and it's mostly really good, but I feel shaken that this is the first time I have really desperately asked for something and it turns out that dp is unable/won't help me. I know I am probably irrational, but I'm left feeling that our relationship isn't what I thought it was. At the same time I feel utterly overwhelmed because the problem (babybrain not sleeping) is still there and I still have to somehow drag myself out of bed every 2-3 hours to deal with him.

I guess I just have to get on with it as I have no options left, but just wanted to get it off my chest. Sorry for the long post. To top it off I've just soaked through a breastpad, saturated my top and now have nothing to wear in bed as I didn't bring a spare t-shirt.

Oh brain so sorry to hear that, my Dp has had similar problems and even went through of period of "I can't settle him as he clearly hates me"
I think it's hard for them when we're breast feeding as they can see how easy it is for us to settle them by putting them on a boob. The worst time to start analysing your relationship is when you are sleep deprived as things can seem so much worse then they are.
Are there any shops near where you are where you could buy a cheap ball or space hopper for Dp to use?

First feed here and I have slept rubbish, thinking about too much.

Thank you for your replies - hubby suggested talking to mum but I'm not sure what that would achieve other than hurting her. The letter is a really good idea, I might give that a go when I have a chance.

Brain I'm so sorry that he is being so unsupportive - could you read him your post to try and make him understand? You shouldn't have to do this on your own - I hope he realises that and then you can start to enjoy your holiday!

Transfer fail #3. Turns out babybrain was all windy and possibly also picking up my mood

Thanks both for the replies. You're right amey now isn't the time for analysing. I do feel a bit better having just got it off my chest. Hopefully we can have sensible conversation tomorrow. We're in rural devon but there might be a shop somewhere. It's worth a look.

On the plus side I have now been up so long my top has nearly dried out....

See brain every cloud and all that!! We're up again, I've had a whole 2 and a half hours tonight

Sorry for the tough times mrsn and brain. I second heffs idea of writing a letter to your mum that you don't send mrsn.

brain your dp needs to find another way of settling baby brain or of giving you a break at other times, maybe try talking to him again tomorrow about how debilitating the sleep deprivation is.

I had a great time at my god daughters party tonight, home at 9.30 just in time for 1st wake up and eight million transfer fails, second wake up at 3.30, straight back down and then 20 mins later he's awake again-I'm at the I feel sick stage of tiredness-really want this cold to bugger off now, I bought one of those calpol plug in vapourizer things and switched it off after 20 minutes because it was catching in my throat so can't see how it can help a baby with a cough!!

Really need a couple more hours zzzzzzzzz

Brain, so sorry to hear that about DP - it is so so tough on a relationship when you are sleep deprived!! I know exactly how you feel! He is probably almost in a weird way feeling rejected - men don't cope well with things they can't 'fix' but maybe you do need to talk and come up with a plan. Does he ever give baby brain a bottle of ebm? When babybee took a first bottle from DH he was so happy, I felt bad I'd not realised he was feeling a bit left out! Virtual hugs xx

Our 'no co sleeping and in own room' rule flew out the window tonight..... I'm not very tough! X

Glad you had fun out susie and hope the cold goes soon. Mine's just at the tail end and it's so nice to be able to breathe through my nose again. I just smothered babybrain in vapour rub... He smelled nice even if it made no difference

amey unfortunately babybrain refuses a bottle. I've tried different teats etc but he can't seem to get the hang of it - it just pours back out of his mouth. I should try again though as it's a while since the last attempt.

Up time was half 7 for us as I have the Drs and am going to walk. Had an awful sleep, knackered already. Hopefully a walk will wake me up.

Hope you all had better sleep than me, and have a good day.

Really bad night for us too . I ended up getting up as I felt so guilty DH was having to do so much. Got to work to find a sixth former, who I had never met but who is in my new form, committed suicide last night. Such a tragic loss of a young life. Apparently he had mh and drug issues but staff who knew him are devastated as are students so trying to support them as best I can. Be good to yourselves everyone.

Oh gosh Funch that's awful. Stay strong. Sending lots of hugs your way.

The GP took some bloods to check my thyroid, blood sugars and for Anaemia. She also said it's normal to be up and down after having a baby, and agreed that restarting the counselling is a good idea. We walked there and back and to Asda and back - such a lovely day!

funch what awful news, how devastating for everyone and such a sad waste of life :( Hope you're ok xx

Horrid news funch I don't know if you remember the Keswick school bus crash a few years ago. I was there on my second placement of my PGCE and it was just awful, like you I didn't know the kids that had lost their lives but going into school was horrible but it must be even worse with it being a suicide. I can't imagine wanting to take my life when you've hardly lived any of it

:( funch, that is awful. I'm shocking at how many child suicides there are these days, we have quite a few at work, its such a shame & I feel so much for the poor parents.

Apart from that - how has work been so far??

We had a nice day & I walked to and from nursery (involves a very steep hill) my legs ache as I walked yesterday too!

When baby bee was screaming being strapped in the pram this morning I got a peek of tooth 2 - its almost through and I can see 2 other white patches on lower gums! Teething like a trooper! Xx

How old is baby bee amey? Just wondering how long I have till that starts!!