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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do you enjoy bottlefeeding? Am I alone?

273 replies

peaches27 · 18/04/2006 23:00

I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding that I just cannot fathom them out. All I can remember are the cracked, sore nips, feeding for hours on end, leaking milk and generally feeling that my life was not my own. Where was the "almost orgasmic sensation at let down"? I dont think I even remember feeling a sensation, apart from dread at approaching the carrycot. When I tearfully gave up the struggle and gave DS a bottle it was love at first sight for both of us. Finally he was satisfied and full. Finally I was comfortable and got my life back. As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders.

Can you please accept that it is not the same wonderful experience for everyone and if we want to give up because we hate it we shouldnt be made to feel guilty as several generations have grown up perfectly healthily on formula. (Breastfeeders now search for statistics which prove that breastfed people are healthier).

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL). This feeling of failure was compensated by the happy healthy infant who thrived on formula and also the extra free time I had even after preparing feeds!

I am raising my grandkids and obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did. I love giving her those bottles, especially the night ones when its just the two of us. She is happy too.

Anyone else share this experience?

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 19/04/2006 14:26

well I think it is the "lights blue touch paper and retires" which suggests that peaches is looking for a response....
iirc no-one on the 100% bf thread made generalisations about "the bottlefeeders", anticiapted their righteous indignation and addressed comments to "the bottlefeeders" e.g. "can you please accept...."
I am happy to bog off to another thread indeed but fgs this is NOT US AND THEM

harpsichordcarrier · 19/04/2006 14:29

hmmmmm maybe pruni

I wish she would lay off the "the breastfeeders" though, it sounds a bit bait-y

Pruni · 19/04/2006 14:31

I know, HC, it's rude.
It is.

tiktok · 19/04/2006 14:33

I explained why Peaches was trolling.

I gave 6 direct examples of it.

None of them has anything to do with "because she wants to share experiences of formula feeding" . She might want to do that - and fair enough - but that's not all she wants to do.

blueshoes · 19/04/2006 14:38

Peaches, as a breastfeeder {shudder}, I am happy you found a method of feeding that works for you and your daughter - no righteous indignation here. But you are polarising the debate by the "us v them" implications and frankly, as a result your message is getting lost by the wayside.

hunkermunker · 19/04/2006 14:39

Why not start a ffeeding thread that just says that you enjoy doing it and what you enjoy about it, and possibly talk about any of the bits you don't enjoy - as the 100% thread does with bfeeding?

Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:41

Quote:
"Just as I was about to petition MN to provide a separate thread area about bottle feeders from the breast feeders, someone comes along in support of bottlefeeding. Hooray for you!!"
"another one from the bottle brigade here
was brilliant"
"Great thread peaches !!

Enjoyed Breast and bottlefeeding both Dd's.
Only managed a few days of breastfeeding with Dd1 and 7 weeks with Dd2 but felt i gave both my girls a good start and never once had any guilt when changing to formula milk.

I agree with you jools the thread "Who out there is an avid 100% breast feeder?" is similar to this one but just imagine if someone posted the comment 'bloody stupid thread' on there?"

"Great to have a thread where we can be positive about bottlefeeding, rather than beating ourselves up in a corner for 'failing'."

Bottlefeeders need to express themselves too, but were obviously concerned about getting their heads bitten off!

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 19/04/2006 14:42

Peaches, it's the OP that I'm objecting to - the bfeeder bashing you did then amd continued to do.

Not a problem that people enjoy ffeeding - glad they do.

bundle · 19/04/2006 14:43

"obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did" is a strange thing to say, peaches.

Why "obviously"?

tiktok · 19/04/2006 14:44

Peaches, you're trolling....stop it. Someone posted 'bloody stupid thread' and what happened - a big fat nuttin' :) It was a silly comment and it was ignored in favour of a discussion about whether you were trolling or not.

:)

beckybrastraps · 19/04/2006 14:44

Because peaches is bringing her up.

Pruni · 19/04/2006 14:44

Look, I bottlefed, and I agree with blueshoes.

It's plenty polarised as it is and there is a lot of ammunition here, now.

It is nice to feed your child and it is valid to point out that it can feel good to bottlefeed. And "bottlefeeders' don't necessarily go round labelling "breastfeeders" and thinking evil thoughts about them (quite the reverse in my experience) despite a few comments on this thread so can't we just leave it there, pleeeeease?

Squarer · 19/04/2006 14:45

erm, because Peaches is bringing her up Bundle. I don't think she's really interested in reinstating a milk supply for her grandaughter.

Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:45

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL).

This was absolutely true 24 years ago. Come along to our meetings ... its only two buses and it will only take you an hour an a half - a breeze with a newborn. The breastfeeding counsellor didnt visit my part of town either.

OP posts:
Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:47

By bundle on Wednesday, 19 April, 2006 2:43:08 PM

"obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did" is a strange thing to say, peaches.

Why "obviously"?

Actually DGD was breastfed by her mummy until she deserted her ... then I came in with the bottle. DGS was also breastfed until he was 18m, I took him in because he was on the child protection register for two issues, one of them being neglect. He hadnt had a decent meal until he came to my house, she just pulled her teeshirt up or gave him crisps.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 19/04/2006 14:49

So do you equate breastfeeding with neglect?

tiktok · 19/04/2006 14:50

Sorry, Peaches. I must be getting my history mixed up. I thought telephones were invented in 1982 - they must not have been, otherwise you would have been able to speak to a volunteer counsellor without waiting for her to visit or without having to get on two buses to see one.

Sarcasm apart - of course feeding is affected by socio-economic factors but please don't try to explain your feeding choice (with which you were perfectly happy anyway) by an inability to contact NCT/LLL.

beckybrastraps · 19/04/2006 14:52

Greensleeves Shock

Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:54

You are very very sensitive if you feel bashed when I say "I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding ".

I am also a little put off lots of other things. I was expressing an opinon. It is how I feel. I am entitled to do this. There are others that feel this way but dont express themselves as there are others only too ready to criticise them.

Do you know what actually motivated me to post this? Nothing to do with trolling. I just thought it was a bit extreme asking for a National Breastfeeding Policy. I refrained from posting on that thread, leave em to it I thought. But I wanted to redress the balance for bottlefeeders who probably feel quite unsupported.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 19/04/2006 14:55

It is implicit in her post, as I interpret it. The child was breastfed until 18mo, he hadn't had a decent meal until he came to her; "she just pulled her teeshirt up or gave him crisps".

With a child that age it wouldn't have been any better had he lived on formula and crisps, would it?

Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:56

By Greensleeves on Wednesday, 19 April, 2006 2:49:42 PM

So do you equate breastfeeding with neglect?

Of course not, or I wouldnt have attempted it myself. I was simply wanting to reply to bundle.

Got to go now, my kids need me!

OP posts:
bundle · 19/04/2006 14:57

I hadn't realised that peaches.

the LLL meetings in my part of london were at both ends of the spectrum: Maida Vale (£5m houses) and Homerton (in a tiny council flat)

Original poster
peaches27 · 19/04/2006 14:57

"Sorry, Peaches. I must be getting my history mixed up. I thought telephones were invented in 1982 - they must not have been, otherwise you would have been able to speak to a volunteer counsellor without waiting for her to visit or without having to get on two buses to see one.

Sarcasm apart - of course feeding is affected by socio-economic factors but please don't try to explain your feeding choice (with which you were perfectly happy anyway) by an inability to contact NCT/LLL."

I was never offered this service in 1982. I was there you werent.

OP posts:
tiktok · 19/04/2006 14:58

"I just thought it was a bit extreme asking for a National Breastfeeding Policy"

You have to be trolling now, peaches.

Who could possibly object to having a strategy (not a policy, but a strategy) which puts in place the public health measures needed to ensure that mothers breastfeed happily and comfortably, and with the right support available (wherever they live - you said yourself it was hard to reach where you were).

A breastfeeding strategy means that the health and social care system gets beyond telling mothers that breastfeeding is healthier, and actually looks at ways to make it possible for them to be supported to do it.

Only a troll would find that an extreme position to take.

Pruni · 19/04/2006 15:04

But peaches, I read that hting about the Breastfeeding Policy and though "fantastic idea and brilliant that people want to do this".
I think bottlefeeders are a very varied bunch (as are breastfeeders) and the crucial thing is not to make sarky asides that serve to misrepresent.
That is not aimed at you: it happens all over the place whenever this is 'debated' and makes each 'side' feel they are being got at.