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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Extended breastfeeding - are you 'normal'?

148 replies

nomoreminibreaks · 25/08/2012 23:49

Before having DS (17mo), I had always planned to breastfeed and hadn't really thought about how long I would do it for. I figured 'not too long' as I'd seen documentaries about extended breastfeeding and they always seemed to feature women who I didn't identify with - more lentil weaving types.

I never had the common reaction of disgust at the idea of BFing a 3/4+ year old but just didn't put myself into that category - I'm pretty mainstream when it comes to most things.

But now DS is getting older I feel more and more wary about people knowing I still BF him as I know people don't see me as the 'type' for EBF.

It makes me wonder - are there secretly loads of us out there who sit back and let the more principled, lentil weaving types speak for us in public, thus distorting the view of women who choose EBF?

OP posts:

Mombojombo · 31/08/2012 13:48

It's all coming out how lentil weavery I really am. I style my hair and put my face on every day (even for swimming or gymming). I have regular manicures and wear high heels. I eat crap food. I watch trash TV.

I also baby wear, cloth bum, breastfeed, bake bread and go camping. Like so many have said, it just happened. Mainly cos I'm too lazy to do anything else.

JugglingWithFiveRings · 31/08/2012 14:11

Am wondering if I could find a hippy necklace that looked like it was woven from lentils for the next MN meet-up - I already have a great purple and red hat in homage to the fab , famous, old lady poem ... "When I am old I shall wear purple ..." or summat

BaronessBomburst · 31/08/2012 14:20

I am definitely not lentily-weavery.
I am definitely not lentily-weavery.
I am definitely not lentily-weavery.

I have disposable nappies!

Lagartijadoesthecrazyshake · 31/08/2012 14:22

I'm still feedig 15mo DD but nobody would know as it's only before bed and on waking in the morning. I think everyone assumes I stopped long ago, so it never comes up in conversation. I'm not lentil weavery at all. I did BLW but that's about as alternative as it gets. DS was mix fed and then fully ff from 2 months cos of being early, small, crap latch etc, but I think if you once crack bf it's easier to just keep doing it than stop..so I would imagine quite a lot of people DO ebf, but don't shout about it much. I'm sure it's more common than we think. Funnily enough this week I've seen 2 children being bf'd in public, one looked to be at least a yr and the other a good 2. Don't see tht much here (Spain) although do see quite a few babies being bf'd.

JugglingWithFiveRings · 31/08/2012 17:59

Just thinking it can't be called ebf after solids are introduced, or can it ?

JugglingWithFiveRings · 31/08/2012 18:01

< sorry, slinks back to pedant's corner to weave sling with lentils >

JollyHockeyStick · 31/08/2012 18:07

After solids are introduced I reckon ebf means extended breast feeding. Let's face it, feeding past six months is fairly unusual in the UK. Out of my group of 12 or so mums and babies we were one of three that made it past 6 months and the only ones to go past 9 months.

SeventhEverything · 31/08/2012 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JollyHockeyStick · 31/08/2012 18:38

I see your point.

I think of it as extended because it is beyond what most do.

mawbroon · 31/08/2012 19:03

I don't class myself as an extended breastfeeder. Everything I read about natural term weaning says age 4-7yrs. DS1 is 6 so we haven't even reached extended yet.

And he's been told that there's no way we are going past 7. And anyway, he's getting a palate expander soon which will put an end to it. Hooray

JugglingWithFiveRings · 31/08/2012 22:22

Just to mention again mawbroon that I BF my DS until he was 6, and looking back on it it was a lovely part of our relationship over all those years (He's 10 now and still gives me great hugs - nearly always comes in to give me a cuddle in the morning (which may be related ?) - tells me I'm a great Mum and often tells me that he loves me which can't be bad )

mawbroon · 31/08/2012 22:26

Aw, lovely

DrCoconut · 31/08/2012 22:44

I probably am a lentil weaver (according to daily mail commenters I am also a yogurt knitter) but so what? I'd be "worse" still if I didn't have to work. I didn't go the whole hog with AP as I felt it was wrong knowing that DS would be going to nursery but we cosleep, BF, don't leave him to cry... He's nearly 17 months and is great! Family members try to ask tactfully if I've stopped yet as they think I'm nutty not to have bottle fed from birth/weaning depending on who you ask.

NumptyMum · 31/08/2012 23:07

I'm reluctantly still feeding DD who is 26mo - I don't really want to be feeding her anymore but she is still VERY keen and I don't think she'll self wean before she's 18 at this rate. I've managed to get her to 2 feeds a day, morning and evening, but it means evenings are tough as it's hard to go out/do stuff... sigh. Not that I would DO very much, I'm just too bloody tired. I'm trying to cut her down by a few minutes each feed, but tiredness means that just as often, I forget.

Badjudgeofcharacter · 01/09/2012 00:06

Love this thread

AngelDog · 01/09/2012 08:18

Eau, woo hoo! Mind you, DS's waking seems worse than it really is because I'm usually up a couple of times on my own account (pg bladder & all that).

I had forgotten teething. DC2 will not suffer from teething, developmental leaps, illness, nap transitions or sleep regressions and will sleep through from the age of 3 weeks.

I wish there were a better term to use. 'Extended' makes me feel like a piece of elastic. I don't like 'natural term' as it suggests complete self-weaning, whereas I suspect we'll persuade DS to stop bf before he does it himself. 'Nursing a toddler' fits well here at the moment, though that only has a limited period of usefulness. 'Longer term' would do, but bf'ing till 6 months probably counts as longer than the average so it isn't that useful.

It makes me smile the way that the minimum definition of 'extended' increases the longer you've been feeding for. I used to think it was over 12 months. Then over 2 years. I can see mawbroon's point about age 7. :)

EyesDoMoreThanSee · 01/09/2012 08:26

I have reluctantly just finished feeding DD (2.1) but intend to tandem feed when I have babies two and three if my marriage lasts that long

Out of my nct group two bottle fed and seven breast fed. I am the only one who went past a year. When I recently said about finishing I was met with disgust and horror that I was still feeding!

NoComet · 01/09/2012 08:35

eyes that's a great shame. I was fantastically lucky that two of my friends fed to ~5 and did odd bits of tandem feeding. DSIL feed her DD well into toddlerhood and maybe beyond, she's a private soul and I wouldn't ask.

DSIS raised her eyebrows and said my old friends would have thought me crazy. Ie she thinks I'm crazy. However, she knows that already

TheTermagantToaster · 01/09/2012 09:05

AngelDog, thanks for the recommendation. You won't know it but you've helped me with many a sleep problem under different nns. You're fab :)

I agree though about DC2 being an angelic sleeper. Surely it's the least the least the universe owes us?!

AngelDog · 01/09/2012 09:44

Thank you. :) Love the name btw!

What I don't want this time is a baby who will allow me to exercise all the aspects of sleep expertise that DS didn't require me to put into practice.

Actually, DS could be a lot worse, so I'm trying not to be too optimistic.

Goldidi · 01/09/2012 13:02

I only have 3 friends who know I'm still feeding dd2 (age 2.5). 2 of them were from the bf group we went to, both fed past a year but finished before 18 months. They ask every time I see them if I'm still bf and seem to think it's hilarious that I haven't stopped yet. They thought I would definitely wean when I found out I was pg and thought it was crazy that I was considering tandem feeding. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to tandem feed as I miscarried at 12 weeks :(

The other friend who knows I'm still feeding has a 12 month old and she was asking me for advice about how to wean. When I told her I was still feeding and had only night-weaned at 18 months she was thrilled as she didn't think 'normal' people continued much past a year. She now intends to continue for as long as she and her daughter are both happy with it :)

surfingluby · 01/09/2012 13:18

Hey there.......You feed your baby for as long as you and baby want to, do what works for you and not for others! People who say bad things almost certainly do so as they feel guilty or are disappointed they gave up too soon!
I have an 11 yr old and two 8yr olds and I fed them all till they were about 3, I got lots of comments but instead of answering I asked how long they fed their children for and if they felt they gave up too early? They soon shut up :-)
We are now expecting number 4 and I will feed him/her until we're ready to stop and if thats age 4 months or 4 years then the only thing I will feel is how proud I am I successfully breast fed my child and gave them the best possible start in life :-)
Good look whatever you decide to do and never feel bad about how long or short you do it for :-)

SirBoobAlot · 01/09/2012 16:48

Normal is a setting on the washing machine

I'm feeding DS who will be three in November. Only one out of my boob group friends to still be feeding, though most of them are now feeding babies number 2, and most did feed for 18months - 2 years. My parents have given up hope on me (both DS and I were FF from day 1). DP (not DS dad) is full of praise and thinks its wonderful.

I'd quite like to do my own TIME magazine photoshoot. Whatcha reckon, ladies?

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